And you, father, will you keep me?
As I age and grind away at hope
I have your body, your laugh
Your ability to spin the yarn,
But I fear I have spun myself dry
I waited for you outside the gates
To change, but you are set in your
Ways; as I speak out loud in circles
To those that would hear me beg
At the rise of suns and stars
My sin is tight about my hands and neck
Like outerwear for the hunter,
But who am I to pull the trigger?
You taught me how to be the moment
You kissed me without worry of cause,
or what my cheek might say to your course
of action; Your need to prevail with pride
I watched them cage you, and break you
For no other reason than your desperation
You were numbered and uniformed
Behind thick glass and fingerprints
I love you father, you made me smile
in the face of adversity and shadow
Motherless, we swing back into tense
staring stances midway between the
shore and the deep. I have your name,
and I have your need to teach the fool
This year I will be 30, and I wonder where
the time went as I read your shoe boxed letters
to a boy that died along the road to paradise
I can count the times we smoked and drove
into the vast relentless dry sands of tomorrow
But I will not number the days between your
old age, and my naivety. Because that would
mean admitting that we are dying to forgive
the momentum that sent us our separate ways
My love for you is hot shaky late night sweat,
and the memory of you down the hall,
but you are not down the hall, that room
is empty like my eyes and heart
I guess, if you go before me, there will
always be the chance that you might
wait for me in death, to see, my life find
you ready; to take us home.
Author notes
I love you dad
Written July 10th, 2004
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What did you think
Comments
1 - 35 of 35
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This is beautiful - tender, heartfelt - I am crying at my desk at work! fathers - never to be forgotten - Thank you for sharing.
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You are so lucky that you are able to feel and say such things to your dad, I haven't missed my dad ever. This is a heartfelt write and however sad it is so positive - you have gained such a parent in your life as opposed to those who never had this experience and lived with a parent who never left a significant imprint on their lives.
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A heartfelt write, filled with such sad emotions. You have interlaced such beautiful words here that vividly expressed your inner feelings. I like the lines
I guess, if you go before me, there will
always be the chance that you might
wait for me in death, to see, my life find
you ready; to take us home.
thanks for sharing and keep pennin'
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excellent
Sensitivity drips from the page here..amazing on so many levels..reminded me of some writes in a Naked Poetry book I have. thanks for sharing -
This was so sad and so touching. Your love spoke volumes and your longing for what is now gone. Pain also spoke through your words as did hope for seeing your loved one again one day, we God has called you home. This was wonderfully written and it touched me, I had tears in my eyes as I read your words. So very sad and lonely to think about your loss. Thank you for sharing this.
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great write
This is a truely amazing write. You've outdone yourself on this one. It's good that you have come to terms with him. I doubt I will ever come to that point myself. Anyway, good job on a very difficult subject. -
Oh my what a tender and beautiful write. I'm sure your Dad would be touched. Wonderful vivid images you have here. I enjoyed the read. I even got a bit misty eyed.
~Dee -
just send her the link.
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Where do I do that, under settings?
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You need to enable the 'send this poem to a friend' thing. Please.
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go right ahead
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moi bien. certain rythmic nuances reminded me of kenneth slessor, which is never a bad thing.
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beautiful
This is a truly beautiful poem. My best friend, she's like sister to me, her father just died recently and if you don't mind I'd like to send her this poem. It's kind of an inside thing between the two of us. -
This is not at all what i was expecting , i've read some of your other poems but they were nothing at all like this and i'll admit i liked this one ten times more. Well done.
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I don't know what to say. Very emotional write, I don't think I can find the adjective at this time of night to describe my reaction to it. Beautifully written, once more a very well used vocabulary; descriptive but not over the top. I think I'm trying to say that you controlled your language use for just the right effect
Once again you made Talion think, which is good.
Cheers,
~Tal~ -
This is a wonderful tribute to your father. I am glad that despite the hardships you both encountered, you were able to still have a relationship. Wish I could say the same about mine. Anyways, great write! Thanks for entering and good luck! --Jenn
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I was actually thinking of sending this link to Von, but have seen that she has already read it. I'm glad she has.
A good write and thanks for entering.
Good luck
Natalia -
Thanks, yeah my father and I have come a long way.
He was in prison 15 years of my life, and now
he has a pear farm, and I often go work with him,
and we talk. It's nice. I went from loving him to hating him
to loving him again. It's been a long journey. -
This poem touched me deeply - there are some beautiful lines there that I too can relate to - the final 4 in particular.
~von~ -
wow this is extremely touching. i cant even begin to say how much this got to me. i am not particulary close with my father...in fact...he lives in a completely different country lol but this is not the place for me to ramble or complain. so now ill stop . anyways this poem was absolutely increadible. you are honestly so talented. i cant even begin to explain it. its just like you have this power with words. wow that sounds so increadibly lame but hey i said i couldnt explain it so yea. sorry i think my sleepiness is catching up with me. anyways i absolutely love the lines
But I will not number the days between your
old age, and my naivety. Because that would
mean admitting that we are dying to forgive
the momentum that sent us our separate ways
thank you so much for writing this, it was absolutely beautiful
*cassie* -
And too imagine... you said all of that without adjusting your crooked viking helmet, impressive.
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Hark, a soul beneath the bitter flesh lies dormant, but the blood of the ancient fathers, that include his own draws out horus's human side, and shows the rawness of watching one who sired you expire. I too share the leaky raft of a relationship sinking into the morass of death, and he too is dear, but fragile...
where once iron melted at his glance....Artis
Edited on Jul 19, 1:12 because 'cause I got gravy on my napkin in some puerto rican watering hole....and wiped it off'. -
Very Nice, That's all I need to say. Even though you cut me down. You say your helping but your not cause you know what's wrong with me and you know it is hard for me to think. But I liked this poem. Keep it up. Remember I did write you a poem that you never read. Take care
Jennette Miller Use to be Jennethepoet
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Powerful emotions in this poem - reflective, personal, touching, honest and deep love are words to describe this "ode" to your father. Keep your love and your dad close to your heart - and make memories together - even if you are apart! My father died about 5 years ago...and I still miss him... I wish you love.
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LOL
Don't worry. I won't tell anyone. Really....
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A touching write, from the heart. You pay a befitting tribute to your father. As a father of 2 myself, I always worry about doing right by my sons. He must be proud of you even now.
This is the first write I read by you, I was curiously attracted to your page by a negative remark you made on someone's work.
I'm glad I checked this out.
Spear -->
Edited on Jul 14, 5:55 because 'typo'. -
shh.
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You mean BOW'LS.
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Softer side yet again, this is very moving (and not in the bowels) ..made me smile, and it made me think. I'm grateful for my dad..if not for him, I wouldn't be me..or as damn stubborn and outspoken as I am today. This is good...
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well way to go, I can understand this one more I can say for the rest. I was well put. Nice Job
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i cannot think of my father without crying. not now anyway.
brilliant stuff here brother.
you should enter this into my contest. -
I really enjoyed this one. Don't mean to be rude, but this one shows there is a person under the crude displays I've read in your other poems. I believed it, but finally I've got proof.
Very well done! -
This was excellent. I really enjoyed the descriptions that went along with the truth behind the poem.
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I grow poppies
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as usual, this is incredibly intense....some of your stuff confuses me, but this one is loud and clear......preach on, brotha'!!!! MAKE him hear you.........nice job....... ~~~~~~~~Stephanie~~~~~~
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