Above the brightness of the sun,
Behold the High and Lifted One,
The Lord of hosts, the King;
Like the seraphim in one accord,
"Holy, holy, holy, is the Lord"-
His wonder I would sing.
Yet I am undone; woe is me!
A man of unclean lips, you see-
Among such men I dwell;
But from off the altar came the coal
To purge my wretched, sinful soul
That I may ever tell.
Upon my peccant lips it lay,
Mine iniquity was seared away,
From sin I've been made free;
Then came the voice of God, saying thus-
"Whom shall I send-who will go for us?"
Then said I,
"Here am I; send me."
Author notes
This poem actually started when reading Paul's testimony to King Agrippa in Acts 26. He mentioned that he saw a light from heaven, "above the brightness of the sun." It made me think of the Isaiah 6 chapter, and God's holiness.
Written July 9th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Love/Hatred, Good/Evil, etc. by xSallyxDollx.
500 points, ended August 14, 2005, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 26 of 26
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Hey Mrs.Rankin!
This is Taylor Colby from GCS. I really like these poems. They are really nice,Just wanted to tell you=) -
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Awww! You're so sweet!
Thank you for the comment, Taylor!
I told your mom to tell you that you did a nice job on your poems, too. I'm only slightly disappointed that you didn't get to share them. But I also know that some poets can be very personal about their work, and that's just fine!
Maybe I'll see you do more on here?
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A wonderful write...
A wonderful write; you have done an excellent job to retell this story; nicely done. --Joe
One small suggestion: Since you have only three stanzas, you may want to consider combining the last two lines of the final stanza and maintain the structure created with the previous stanzas.
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For your information the word "seraphim" is already plural; therefore you cannot add an "S" to it. Seraphim is the plural of seraph. The same rule applies to cherub/cherubim. The language is Hebrew. And as we know, seraphim and cherubim are ancient Jewish inventions. "Peccant" is a wonderfully archaic word whose existence I had totally forgotten. What terrible sin had you committed to make them peccant?
Edited on Aug 14, 6:58 p.m. because ''. -
wow congratulations on the gold you really deserved it! keep that baby shining!
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Awesome job on this peice. It is very passionate and well written. This is packed with outstanding message from the scriptures. Excellent portrait of the Lord you have painted in this one! Good Luck and Best wishes!
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Wow, this poem is amazing. You did an awesome job on the scriptures. I lovced it, you truely did an outstanding job on this one. It followed the scripture beautifly, and had a flow that rolled off my tounge. Work that should be admired. God bless.
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wow this was really great! the first stanza is really strong and the rest has a great message. everyone in this competition should fear you. hehehe. good luck!
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Thank you- God gets all the glory!
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awesome! u and elijah rock
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Thank you! I'm afraid that it might not be exactly what the contest was looking for, but it IS about God! SO... we'll see!
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wow i love this write! u really captured the verses of isa in a simple yet beautiful way.. loved e unclean and made clean part.. thgis is a really good write all the best in the contest
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Well done! I've done a few poems myself, like this. Poetical renditions of scripture. If you're interested, read mine called The Good Theme, based on Psalm 45.
Awesome job! -
AMAZING
I love this poem. It was beautifully written. I love rhyme too, most of mine are rhyme. Thank you for sharing these thoughts on the scriptures. Take care, Sandy 
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Your compliment on this poem was just the boost I needed tonight... I really do believe God gives me the ideas for these... however, sometimes I think I seek a little too much attention and credit for myself.
I'm glad you liked it- I hope it was also a blessing to you!
And, YES, I totally understand what you mean about writing the poems "the old way"... the way they were MEANT to be written- the way that took mental strength and forethought, rather than the goo you see on here most of the time!
Edited on Mar 10, 8:39 p.m. because ''. -
Awesome
I just love this poem! I am so amazed when I see someone writing poems the old way. With Rhyme and meter. This poems is done this way as a work of art! -
Your poem reminded me greatly of the Brothers Karamozov, and i decided to comment y using some of the ideas of that book. Did you have your nose pulled is a Russian idiom, which means Did you meet with failure in pursuing what you were pursuing? The guy on the verge of exclaiming "Hasonnah", is the devil wanting to praise the triumphant return of Jesus but knows he cannot, or all events will be stopped. And the reactionary was form the tale of the quadrillion kilometers; when the guy finally reached heaven, he rejoiced and shouted happily, but was called a rectionary by the angels. Overall, I thought your poem was well written, ad I responded the way I did, because, as I have already mentioned, it reminded me of that book. About "A Sea of Darkness", I would not say it was as much a suicidal desire or approach, as much as it was a fatlistic surrendering. We always sleep, even when awake; some of us have the ability to awake, and some even do so. He awoke, but returned ot his rest. Either way you interpret it is fine, however. I am glad oyu enjoyed it.
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Um, I must say that I really don't know how to reply to your comment... Maybe you could try to reword it for me, to give me a more clarified idea of how you really feel about this poem. Until then, I'd rather not assume your actual opinion of it, or of me, for that matter...
"I imagine you had your nose pulled"... does that mean something, or is it just an obsurb question?
While I was where? In the presence of God Almighty? No one has ever seen God face to face but Adam, Eve, and His own Son Jesus... all other men would die.
And, to be honest, my working vocabulary doesn't have the word "reactionary" in it, so I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or insult.
There is one thing I do know, however- something about this poem caught your attention enough to prompt you to comment, although the comment does make me wonder... but I'd like to know what it was that make you stop and look! -
I imagine you had your nose pulled. Tell me, while you were there, did you see a man a instant away from shouing "Hosanna", but restrained himself just in time? I hear you were ignored and called a reactionary. Well? What of it? I want to know.
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You took a great verse and made a beautiful poem about it. Nice rhyme. It flowed well and did not distract from the meaning of the verse. If anything you exponded on it like a good message on the text.
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Holy, holy is the one that's light will abide in all to see what only we here now dream...
exquisite and beautiful
Tamara
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Thank you very much! I appreciate this comment because I've always thought it would be neat to write a hymn! I love music so much, too, especially good music that glorifies God.
I don't know if I'll rework this one or not, depending on time and what God would have me do with it, but I'll definitely think about it!
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Could well make a truly thoughtful modern day hymn could this one, you should give some thought to this as these are well sought after today. A sincere pleasure to read.
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Thank you so much for commenting!
I was thinking about what kind of meter to use when writing this, and an 8-8-6 seemed very nice; but when I got to the line with "Holy, holy, holy" in it, I wanted to keep it as close to scripture reference as possible, so I had to break the usual pattern. I have to admit- the first stanza is my favorite, and probably the best part of the poem.
I agree about the "you see", too... it doesn't really fit as well, but it was all I could think of at the time.
"Peccant"- I like that word... I used it in another poem of mine, when I found out what it meant.
And I know the end of the poem really doesn't match the rest, but I thought that made it more unique, not to mention it's true to the scriptures, as well.
I'm glad you liked it! Feel free to read more! -
Hi Heismysong, this is an an awesome expression of praise. I almost hate to offer a technical critiqueon something so true and right! But since you asked...
I think the poem could be improved if you made each line 8 syllables (or nine if the last is nonstressed). Meter takes a lot of practice and once you've got it down, you won't need to count syllables. But I found when I was learning, syllable counting helped a lot. It would be easy to adjust, for example your first stanza:
Above the brightness of the sun,
Behold the High and Lifted One,
The Lord of hosts, the awesome King;
Like seraphims in one accord,
"Holy, holy, holy Lord"-
Your humble servant comes to sing.
The "you see" in stanza two, line two is a forced rhyme. I can see why you added it, but it would be better to rework the two lines to find a meaningful rhyme.
"Upon my peccand lips it lay" That's an awesome 8 syllable line. I would lengthan the rest to match and try to get the rhythm to match too.
My criticisms sound like a big deal, but even without the changes you've written a fine praise tribute. Again, I really liked it!
Jennifer
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Oh, this is beautiful! I loved the first line. You did well with the unusual rhyme scheme also. I love that it was just once that the coal had to be placed on Isaiah's lips... it reminds me of a verse that's been jumping into my thoughts constantly over the past few days: Hebrews 10:14 "For by one offering He hath perfected forever them that are sanctified [set apart for Himself]." Isn't that amazing? Just once, and we are clean forever, and able to participate in the great work of God upon the earth!
I can't wait to hear about your trip, when you have a chance! And I want to tell you all about mine--before I leave again!
Love in Christ,
Rita
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