Turning the ocean around, the cool breeze blows
dancing rainbow colors that glide upwards suddenly arose
From bottoms which the came of teal green
sparkling dancing crystal jewels with mint champagne, unseen
Walking in the beach sand draws your flame
burning desires between toes snuggled with gritty aims
As crabs sneaking through mud puddle diffuse screen
sparkling dancing crystal jewels with mint champagne, unseen
Watching the seagulls gliding along through spacious air
gracefully landing on waters capped tip edge stair
Picking up food with bills that clenched between
sparkling dancing crystal jewels with mint champagne, unseen
Turning the ocean around, the cool breeze blows
sparkling dancing crystal jewels with mint champagne, unseen
Author notes
This was a magical time and place where I was at piece and found soothing to come too or come back with my kids. It gave a since that everything was right with world and nothing could ruined the beauty and tranquility I recieved from it.
Prompt:1. PW won Gold
In a list
A contest entry
- Let your words shine by meena krish.
300 points, ended March 30, 2006, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - OCEAN AND DESERT SANDS by piccola.
450 points, ended April 4, 2007, 15 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Your BEST Prewrite! - For Mike [degarmo] - by Never Fall in Love.
950 points, ended October 29, 2007, 130 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - A Quickie for you(lots of options)#2 by pain is love..
490 points, ended May 19, 26 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Let Me Prompt You. :D by XxLoverOfDarknessxX.
1500 points, ended June 12, 20 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 79 of 79
-
this was really pretty.
i loved it! 
the imagery in this was fantastic and phenomenal! it immediately calms the reader as they go on, which is very nice. BRAVO!!! this was amazing! keep up the amazing work! thanks for entering and good luck in my contest!
-
great poem. I felt as if I were at the ocean and i love the repition. But you must write a new poem as this is a pre write. see rule #7. Also put the prompt in you AN and you UN.
-
i would like to thank you for sharing your talent with me through this wonderful write. i wish you well in the contest that we both have entered. i am looking forward to reading more from you in the near future. viyanna rosemarie
-
congratulations on the gold in the previous contest. This write is filled with a sense of tranquility.
-
Thank you for the gracious comments. Haley27
-
Tranquility resides within this poem just like the ocean..and the images are inviting and warm..excellent write.
Thank you for your entry..and good luck to you.
Take care~ -
Thank you for the gracious comment. I tried to captured the moment when my kids and I would vaction in Florida. Those were the majical moments of a life time. Haley27
-
beautiful
I love how you described the ocean. The imagery was amazing. It's such a peaceful poem, it puts you in the image you created and the beach is a peaceful setting. I can hear classical music while reading this. Beautiful. Good luck in the contest
-
Thank you for the gracious comments. I'm glad you liked my poem. Haley27
-
yet another impressionisitc artisry of vocabulary, and subtle flow.. this pieece it'ssellf seems like a wave rolling onto the shore,and fall bnack to the tide slowly.. its beuatiful, please keep up the good work.
-
Thank you for liking my poem. Haley27
-
Very nice sweetheart. gud luck in da contest iight
-
Thank you for gracious comments and liking my poetry. Haley27
-
wonderful imaginary ....almost felt like I was there...good luck in contest
-
Thank you. Haley27
-
Thank you for liking my poem and commenting. Haley27
-
Wow..I like this..it's really nice ^^
-
I love the ocean, this is a lovely poem with lots of very beautiful imagery! I really enjoyed it! I like the repetition of the last line in each stanza, that works well! Nicely done! Good luck in the contest! Love lulu xxx
-
Thanks for the cool comment. Haley27
-
The ocean I was talking about is the Atlantic Ocean down by Florida were sunsets are magical and sunrise just breathtaking as well and the air is so crisp of salt melting in your mouth. I've been to California as well, but I have to say the Atlantic Ocean near Florida is the best. Haley27
-
Nice poem,make's me want to go to the beach and run in the cool water's of salt
.
-
thanks
Hello. thanks for entering my contest. Great write with specific details. loved it! thanks for entering and good luck thanks again
Kylee -
wow. May I ask if there's a specific ocean you're speaking of? and if so, which?
-
I'm glad you like my poem. I've always felt a since of comfort from the ocean. Thank you for commenting and responding to my poem. Haley27
-
romancing the ocean
The ocean and its waters blue as it paints into our minds and
rolls in and touches us gently , here your wonderful verse
as a love affair with the ocean as it seems to enjoy the game ,
a unique perspective , a crystal feeling of belonging to its
life and motions . -
Thank you for commenting and liking my poem. The ocean gives a since of relief over stress or just breath taking views. Haley27
-
This is a very beautiful poem. The imagery is nice as well. I like the feeling it portrays to the readers as they make their journey through your well penned words.
Good Luck. -
I enjoyed watching the waves as my kids tried to escape from them , which made me smile. I'm glad you enjoyed my poem. Haley27
-
I'm into watching waves ebb and flow as well. One of my most relaxing pass times. You've managed to give a descriptive feel to one of natures many wonders.~~~Suseann
Edited on Apr 21, 8:42 p.m. because 'spelling correction done'. -
Thank you for liking my poem. I hope you get to go to the beach some day. Haley27
-
Wow great imagrey and well written I now want to go to the beachfor some reason. Any way I do like the poem and good luck in the contest.
-
Thank you for liking my poem. Haley27
-
Very good poem! Good imagery. Keep up the good work.
-
I like this gracious comment you have given me on this poem. Haley27
-
i love the imagery of this poem! it makes me want to hop right into the words and be with the mint champagne-which i love that idea by the way. it was a joyous read..truly!
-
This poem is a breath of fresh air, literally!! I love the way you organized it and it's effortlessly creative in that it goes down smooth and puts a smile on your face. I love the work and keep writing ok
-
Thank you for liking my poem and commenting. I'm sorry for your loss. You still need to go to the beach for her sake or yours. Haley27
-
Vivid Imagery
Your author's comment fits perfectly with my mood today of wanting to go back rather than forward since it will be two years since mother passed in February. She loved the beach and I would love so much to be able to call her and say, "Hey, Mom... Let's go to the beach." I wish I hadn't waited for the best time because now there's no time left. I love your repeating line as is like the waves that go out to sea and return back to shore. Repeating line adds to the ebb and flow of your piece just like the ebb and flow of "The Ocean".
Edited on Jan 28, 9:19 because ''. -
Thank you for thinking my poem is good. Haley27
-
this is amazingly beautiful. very serene.
i havent been to the ocean in years, but you so capture the feel of being there
sigh sigh sigh
i miss the sound of the waves at night.
i can hear them, in this.
-
Thank you for gracious comments on my poem. Haley27
-
This poem sparked beautiful mental images. Well done
Keep the ink flowing,
Scarlet -
Thank you for your commenting and responding to my poem. I went to your home page and found that you do shape poetry, which I'm interested but don't know how to do. Haley27
-
Very pretty poem, good on the visuals I loved it.
-
Thank you for liking my poem and little champagne won't hurt if I get an trophy for this one. Haley27
-
this was serene in it beauty- makes me wissh for the ocean right along with you!!(a little champagne wouldn't hurt either)i can see me with my lover walking along right there where land meets water under the moonlight...this was very romantic..
-
Thank you for liking my poem. When I wrote this poem I was in Florida and we used to go to the beach often. During the last month of the Summer you could see the seagulls landing on the water like slow moving picture reaching for their food, The ocean during the last month of the Summer is the color of mint green. Which I came up with champagne which foams like the ocean waves and the two just gave more colorful picture to the reader. Haley27
Edited on Jan 13, 5:37 p.m. because ''. -
Beautiful imagery... some of the rhymes were a bit "iffy," but it's still an amazing poem, with the talk of "mint champagne" and the seagulls landing on "waters capped tip edge stair..." I think this has so much hidden inside. Good luck in the contest.
-sky -
Thank you for liking my poem. Haley27
-
....very descriptive...almost described everything....AROUND the ocean...good luck
Edited on Nov 06, 10:53 p.m. because ''. -
This was extremely beautiful with beautiful images flowing across the page. Kendhal22
Edited on Oct 25, 11:26 p.m. because ''. -
This creates a really pretty picture in the reader's head. I really liked it alot. There was alot of graphic detail in it. Good job!
-
Thank you from a fellow student in your praise. Haley27
-
a lovely image you have painted for us.....I wish you the best of luck in the contest.....
-
Thank you, I think this my best yet. I'm glad you enjoyed this one. Haley27
-
Ah sweet serenity of the ocean beauty.The words were crafted eloquently with a sense of romance towards the ocean.I appreciate this piece and I commend you for writing it.Sometimes people forgot what a thing of beauty the ocean can be...simply to sit back and watch all that happens in its vast depth and length.Blessed Be,Tom
-
I'm glad you like. Thanks for commenting. Haley27
-
theres a euphoric utopia that entrances the reader... the repeating line is almost hypnotic as it is beautiful. it is a very clming feeling... great write! and best of luck!
-
I'm glad you liked my poem. Thank for commenting. Haley27
-
Beautiful write, Poet!!! I really love the ocean, so this was an easy one to choose to comment on...your word choice is impeccable...the flow is pure & true...your imagery is immaculate & vivid...very well~written!!!
Wanda
-
Thank you for entering my contest...good luck..ejoyed reading this piece.
Roger -
I failed to penetrate the phrase
'From bottoms which the came of teal green'
a nice poem, that was the only bit I balked at.
Certainly full of imagery. Nice
You forgot to put 'bite me' in your comments. -
Thank you, You are true friend. Haley27
-
I would be honoured and thanks for the vote of confidence. Keep writing my friend, I too love the work you do............
sanity
-
This means a lot from a true poet. I admire your work and would be happy if you allow me put your name on my favorites. Is that alright with you?Haley27
-
Brilliantly crafted, the ocean is by far my most favourite part of earths floor covering. A very image filled and quite serene poem, thanks for sharing...............................
take care
sanity
-
Thank you for commenting and responding. I'm glad you like my poem. Haley27
-
This is so wonderfully done....my very favorite line is the repeating one "sparkling dancing crystal jewels with mint champagne, unseen"...those are extremely poetic words! The entire poem is just so picturesque and breathtaking....you are very talented! Thank you for entering..... ~~Quasar~~
-
I enjoyed this. I love the ocean. You but my imagination on the beach with your words. You put me in a place I love to be giving me the feeling that I enjoy watching and listening to the ocean.
-
Thank you for voting me in second place. Haley27
-
I'm glad you liked this poem. I went to Florida this past summer, and was amazed how the ocean look like teal green champagne. Sometimes you see the fishes blowing bubbles. This were I got an idea to write about. Haley27
-
Thank you for putting me in first place. Haley27
-
I really like this poem, it's very peaceful and soothing to read and your imagery and rhyme are lovely. I give this my vote for second place. Best wishes and good luck inthe contest... ~genielassie~
-
Great poem, you used a lot of wonderful imagery and really captued the ocean through your words. I especially loved the first stanza, it was a great way to open the poem. It really caught my attention.
From bottoms which the came of teal green
sparkling dancing crystal jewels with mint champagne, unseen
My favorite lines, great selection of words here. You're a great poet, and overall this poem is wonderful. Good luck int he contest! -
MY FIRST PLACE IS VOOR YOU!
-
Thank you for responding and commenting on my poem. Haley27
-
whoa.... this is awesome... so far u have a really good chance of winning, this is beautiful. the description is amazing u have awed me and took my breath away. awesome job
-
Thank you for the comments. Haley27
-
Wow, I love this poem! there is so much desription.. Good luck n the contest, I hope you win
pinkwhite
Adding your comment:
1 - 79 of 79
6 old applause
