I heard the music playing in the dimlit background,
shades halfway drawn to fade out daytime sound,
as I inch closer to you I can feel your warm breath,
I smell your sweet scent as you gently kiss on my neck,
Slowly I slide my hand into your summer thin shorts,
your breath growing deeper as I invade your thoughts,
You pull my head back as you follow me with your eyes,
softly kissing my lips while I caress your hard thighs,
You thrust your tongue deeper as I moan with pleasure,
I now have you in my hand; my touch as light as a feather,
Your growing bigger and bigger as I stroke it up and down,
I bend down to taste you gliding my tongue round and round,
Just on the tip...just to tease you a bit,
you push my head further for you know I'm equipped,
I take you deep in my throat as you groan with such passion,
my body impatiently waiting for her own satisfaction,
You know what I need and it's now my turn,
my body calling out for what she now yearns,
You pull me up to you, eyes full of burning desire,
leading me toward the bed then wandering down to the fire,
spreading me open like your little butterfly,
tongue like soft velvet as I let out a soft sigh,
licking and sucking amongst sounds of feminine rain,
dripping like honey like blood from my vein,
I pull you in deeper as I grab your spikey hair,
"Baby, I feel it, please stay right there"
Soaking you in a pool of my love,
You grin with masculine pleasure then mount me above,
lips soaked and wet from your deep sea feat,
reminding me with a kiss of your little treat,
You then enter inside and let out a deep moan,
I tell you I love you and that you are now home,
We have now become one, lost in a world of only us two,
like a boat floating on turqouise waves,
Drifting---just me & you...
You melt into me playfully bite my soft lips,
grinding your manhood into womanly hips,
Your breath has now quickened, sweat drips onto my breasts,
each time you thrust deeper I become more wet,
Faster and faster I feel your body about to explode,
I pull you in tighter, you feel so good to hold,
like hot liquid fire you burst into me,
our heartbeats now racing from pure ecstasy
Author notes
Sizzlin HOT!!!!!
Written July 7th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Give It To Me Baby by Disillusioned1.
300 points, ended September 3, 2005, 5 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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Thank you soo much for the Gold! It REALLY made my day! I have been going through soo much heartache lately and this just made me feel so good! Thank you for giving me a bit of my confidence back. I really needed that right now.
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HOLY GOD!!! this was perfect!!! i'm in awe! wow, that's all i can say...it's an amazing peice. Go you. lol!!! Good luck in my contest!
~Clara~ -
LOL! I know - it was a little..errr graphic - but it is about making luuv -- i think i entered another one Black Satin which is not graphic at all - but I never win any contests anyway so I am not expecting much!!! I have a entire category for such poems...lol - its funny.
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hehe... well It's different to what I entered But I liked it
may the best woman win hehe... I would have made mine more detailed but seeing as it was a love contest afterall I thought i'd make it sweet hehe good luck!!
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your welcome
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Thank you!
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the imagery that you used in this one is just excellent. i loved this poem it made me feel as though it was happening to me and thats one thing that i like about poems. your poems seem interesting. i think that i will continue to read them and leave comments.
~jYm~ -
Kowabunga! My head is spinning! Excellent write!
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Whooohoo.... Man o man I am really getting hott lol.... This was excellent...This was so vivid I was sitting here readint this and in my mind thinking of me and my husband...And ooo that is when I really got into your write.... This was great
Thanks for entering
Jenn
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possibly the best piece of erotica i've ever read. Sexual yes but not in a gross way. There's love and tenderness between these 2 people. Oh and I LOVE the rhyme. A few great lines
amongst sounds of feminine rain
Spreading me open
like your little butterfly
Amazing write!
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Tender, sweet, full of lust and intimate imagery. Not my cup of tea as far as the rhythm or rhyme scheme, however -- it feels forced, as though you had to manipulate it to make the rhymes come. I feel it could be more polished in that respect, but it could be just my own style talking. In any case, you've got a great grasp on emotion and how to pull the reader in to your fantasy. "Spreading me open / like your little butterfly" is a great set of lines. Another quick question: Why is ONLY YOU capitalized right there? It seems a little too jarring, IMHO.
Anyhow, a good write. Thanks for sharing! -
This was a fantastic write. The imagery was wonderful and truly put the reader into the story. There were a lot of tender moments and yet the lust and desire was thrown in perfectly and not overpowering like so often done. Truly a great write.
Victoria Lin -
this is really good. it has love and sex. i like bc this is how it should be two people loving each other and makeing each other happy with what they both want
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This was nicely done =) Bravo! Bravo! Hot, sensual, and I really liked it that you didn't use slang terms throughout, kept me reading without a look of disgust on my face hehe. Very erotic write. Keep it up, definitely.
-Serenity- -
I can FEEL it!!!!!!
Amazing imagery. "Almost was like I was there"!!!!! Hummmmm. So, wanna listen to some Mariah again some time, sexy kittie? I think last nite came VERY close to this, baby. Wow. And just remember, as we mature and learn about each other in this incredible and passionate relationship, it will only get MORE sexy and MORE open and giving. Wait and see. Hee hee.
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