You held my hand,
And pulled me near.
I thought my heart would stop.
Your lips touched mine,
And I thought that my body would freeze,
Into a state of excitement, belonging, and
Joy that I want forever.
You told me you loved me and
Of course I "loved" you too.
I fell into a deep ocean of feelings,
Feelings that I couldn't escape.
My first kiss,
Wasted when you broke my heart
Wasted to the point that I regret it.
I regret you!
I was stupid to think that you loved me,
And that our kiss was anything important.
I wished I would have waited for that Mr. Right.
To share a kiss with someone who cares.
Author notes
This is how I felt looking back to what I should have done it wouldn't have hurt me as much if I didn't kiss him, but I did so yeah the poem tells you
~julia~
Written July 6th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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about the poem itself...
"Of course I "loved" you too."-great line.
"Joy that I want forever." change 2 present a little abrupt.
"I fell into a deep ocean of feelings,
Feelings that I couldn't escape."-why not extend the metaphor a little... maybe "feelings i drowned in"? or something like that. not neccessary. just thought that might be cool. and last line could maybe be a little stronger, feels kind of like a ragged edge still. feels kind of sudden and incomplete 2 me.
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still... even though u feel bad about what happened and often we kind of get on ourselves 4 not seeing then and regret ever falling 4 them and stuff... u can still remember the moment, the amazing experience of being in luv and ur first kiss that knocked u off ur feet... even if things changed later.
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thanks...for the comment...Love hurts!!!
~julia~ -
hang in there! it can only get better
wow, welcome to the broken heart club! lol, great job on the poetry. Sometimes the more brave thing to do is to pick yourself up again, which takes time, and I hope that Mr. Right does indeed come along, and well you are young and have plenty of time to meet him! Great job once again! I loved it! -
awesome
that is really good...i connect a lot with it...awesome job my friend!! -
Beautiful
That is really beautiful...awesome job...
loves,
erika -
yeah it was sry to reply so late. it mad very sad. But i am over it now so all is well. thank you for your comment
~julia~ -
this is very moving and rather heartbreaking to read too
, that kiss must feel such a let down now .... oh well` I am sure you will meet your Mr Right one day 
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thankz for sharing
and
happy scribbling
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Wasted when you broke my heart
Wasted to the point that I regret it.
I regret you!
I was stupid to think that you loved me,
And that our kiss was anything important.
I wished I would have waited for that Mr. Right.
To share a kiss with someone who cares.
I love those lines the best! How come you stopped writing? You need to start back and you aren't bad you were really good! Its not wasted tiem on a guy. You grew from the experience and every guy you date aint suppose to be there for the rest of your life, unless till he happens...you meet the Mr. Right. Keep writing and comment back soon! -
no its ok I want help and thanks for it...chat at ya later
~juia~ -
not to be overly critical, but grammatically speaking, your line " wished I would have waited for that Mr. Right." should be either, "i wish i had waited..." or, "i wished i had waited"
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well really it is about both of it...I mean at first I was like this was great got my first kiss blah blah blah...but then after he was such a jerk it took a while for me to realize that now when someone kisses me it won't be all the same feeling and its not fair to them..cuz now I don't trust guys but I will slowly get over it...and really be able to find Mr. Right. thanks for you comment...wish me luck
~julia~ -
I like the wasted idea, first time through I didn't realize you were saying it was your first kiss that was wasted but more that you were drunk on "loving" him and then you were starting to sober up after the break up... but I realized that was wrong but either way I like it a lot that really blows goats that he was such a jerk, but it make for a stronger person... and a step toward your beautiful intelligant Mr. right
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ovation
i loved this poem, very emotional and expressive, it catches me. excellent write, keep it up.
p.s. thanks for your very kind comment -
Yeah I am not so sure right now I have a lot to tell you so call me. I fell kinda not so good right now so yeah but I'll get over it..
~julia~ -
this is really good. great write!
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Hey!! Great job!!! It awesome! Sorry about Billy Goat!! but thats all he is....a farm animal!! You are so talented and pretty!! Any guy would be like to be with you, ju! Great job! and keep it up! byes! always, Sam
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Lord almighty, that's depressing. I loved it!!!! It's so raw and powerful, and beautiful. Bravisimo! Keep it up, man
Buddha
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