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Milking Pain, or Another Redneck Writes a Patriotic Song

 

Yeah, alligator tears all the way to the bank,
Me and my righteousness, Olympias I drank,
Goose-stepping on the stage with shit-kicking boots,
Spittin’ Skoal’s the only time this good ole boy shoots.

Tipping the cows, tipping the cows,
‘Cause they take it like chumps,
Distracted from reality
By  wrasslin’ and GameCube and NASCAR.

Sendin’ the minorities to do the hard job,
Beatin’ up my kids till they choke on my knob,
Streamlined viewpoint, insert in my brain:
Fox News says there’s no gain without pain.

Tipping the cows, tipping the cows,
‘Cause they take it like chumps,
Distracted from reality
By fishing shows and monster trucks and slutty pop stars.

Break it down!

Shearing the sheep, shearing the sheep,
‘Cause they just don’t care,
Give them their three hundred-dollar checks,
Then tax it all back next year after they elect you!

Author notes

Just imagine this piece to the tune of some Limp Bizkit-type shitty song.

Basically, it just irks me the pompous attitudes of some of these "artists" who think it's a far better thing to write misanthropic, hate-mongering songs than to enlist and actually pick up a rifle and do something.

Enjoy!

Thanks,
Giovanni
Written July 6th, 2004

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Comments

1 - 6 of 6
  • Nicole Hanna
    September 14, 2004
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    I must admit I'm still trying to figure out why there are two titles, basically, in the title. lol. But the poem was really a stimulating read. I think we give far too little credit to the those who do "pick up the gun" as it were, and far too much attention to the assholes who send them out there in the first place.


  • XChloroform-KissesX
    September 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This was funny!! Though I must admit, when I'm in a patriotic mindset, I like "Angry American," shrugs Oh well, I'm probably in the minority. That's ok though, good job with this, it amused me. ~willow


  • Topaz135 gold member
    September 14, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Not being involved in the culture you suggest, I fail to be qualified to rate this against it's aimed target, sorry. But I clicked in thus this commentary. Good luck
    Nice title though!


  • pulsating
    July 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This is some funny stuff here....excellent job...

  • pestilance
    July 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    heh i see what you mean, imagineing it to some limp bizkit type shit song, this was realy funny.

  • Black Diamond
    July 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    that was the goofiest shit ive ever read!!!!!! i mean that in a good way though it was funny lol...and tipping cows is fun...

    LOL!!LOL!! WELL CYA LATER DOOFY!!!

    ~KM SIGLIN-
    The price is wrong, bitch!

1 - 6 of 6