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Small Stream. (Tanka)



the small stream
as children we tried to dam
with no one around
I pick up the first rock
and wonder....





Andrew Hide
29~06~2004

Author notes


Written July 6th, 2004

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Comments

1 - 11 of 11

  • Sai Babas Lotus
    December 21, 2004
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    That's beautiful. Love L4 and L5. Aren't the memories of childhood the best? I miss being a little kiddo!! Haha...thank you for sharing the cute tanka.


  • Ava Noire silver member
    July 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    as children we tried to dam
    the small stream
    with no one around
    I pick up the first rock
    and wonder


    Just a suggestion, I like this. It took me back to my childhood days


  • Maatkara gold member
    July 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Haha! Yeah, I thought it had a 'Freudian slip' kind of sense to it...makes perfect sense now.

    ~ G


  • AndrewHide silver member
    July 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    lol....opps,
    Something must have rubbed off from my mother,
    "Look at the state of you, you've been near that damn stream again haven't you?"

    All fixed now. thank you.

    Andrew

  • Maatkara gold member
    July 10, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Nicely nostalgic. Can we recapture our childhood...?
    Did you intend to write "damn" instead of 'dam'? (Not sure how one would "damn" a stream though. )

    ~ G


  • BillS2
    July 8, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    ;Memories

    Hi Andrew:
    Yes, I think as children, we all tried to dam up the rivlets coming as a result of the rain. Thanks for such a wonderful thought back to my childhood with this Tanka. I appreciate the write. Bill


  • Mari Goes gold member
    July 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Can't get enough of this one
    It has a feeling of innocence like a child's smile.
    Mariza


  • Nicolette gold member
    July 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I am now also trying my hand at haiku, senryu and tanka - so now I can appreciate yours so much more! Lovely vision you've painted here with the pen of nostalgia - something I can identify with (having grown up on a farm). Great work!
    Edited on Jul 06, 1:35 p.m. because ''.


  • donnz
    July 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    If only more people would consider their actions before casting that first stone.

  • skinwalker 2
    July 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    I do tankas different but none are better tha

    Hi Andrew ~ great tanka and a wonderful story of childhood ..My mom use to be upset at us 'cause we would come back all muddy on sunday afternoon..Wow it was fun ~so do we ever grow up ?? I didn't ~smiles ~ Skinwalker


  • myron silver member
    July 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    the tanka roll in

    i don't know much about tanka, but i enjoyed this nostalgic, evocative poem.

    especially liked the final 2 lines:

    I pick up the first rock
    and wonder....


    i'll try writing these one day, after i read & learn more about them...thanks for posting this, i found it interesting...

1 - 11 of 11