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Regrets

 




How can you walk away from me

 

And all that we once shared

 

With shattered heart my knees grow weak

 

I thought you really cared.

 


Ruby tears caress my cheeks

 

And stain our once pure bed

 

Your words drip anguish on my soul

 

Are you happy that I’ve bled?

 


I gave my love so willingly

 

And a ring that held my heart

 

You abandon me with shrouded eyes

 

And without remorse depart

 


Oh curses on your faithless corpse

 

That hid a putrid core

 

You left me here encased in grief

 

My essence weeping on the floor.

 



Patricia Gibson-Williams

Author notes

I'm not to sure about the title.  Any suggestions would be welcome. ~ Patti ~
Written July 5th, 2004

In a list

A contest entry

What did you think

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Comments

1 - 7 of 7

  • Almighty Aphrodite gold member
    July 14, 2004
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    This is truly a saddening write which I can relate to somehow... I have been destroyed by heartbreak, so wasted to the point that I have chained my heart and will never let anyone that close to me again. I can't stand the hurt.

    Your poem made me think of a lot of instances where my so-called relationships fell apart.. (sigh) I love the rhythmic flow of it, and the cryptic, dark entrails behind your descriptions of this man. That would fit a few people I know perfectly...

    Mmm. Brilliant piece of poetry. I enjoy coming here.

    Many blessings,

    Raven Aurora


  • Nour Beydoun
    July 7, 2004
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    Your work has left me speechless!
    you did a great job especially with the Ruby Tears lines..
    Your pain is deeply felt..
    Nour-

  • FalsePretenses
    July 6, 2004
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    This is a very well written poem! I love the flow and imagery that you use in this piece. It is beatiful, truly. My favorite lines would have to be "Oh curses on your faithless corpse
    That hid a putrid core"-these lines flow together so well, and have such great emotion that go along with the words.
    You have talent! Keep up the good work!
    LuVz


  • AngelSeeker silver member
    July 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you for pointing out my typo. It was late when I wrote the poem and I posted it without my usual wait. As for what I meant by ruby tears, yes I was crying... but I also intened to say that I was actually bleeding from the pain. I'm looking forward to reading some of you poetry. ~Patti~

  • Morgana
    July 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    Beuatiful, though heartbreaking

    One small typo (I'm pointing it out since you're entering a contest and want it to be the best possible thing it can be...)In verse two, you write "Are you happy that I've bleed" "bleed" should be "bled", and plus it rhymes with your earlier word , "bed". Other than that, excellent job.

    I love the differemt emotions that flow through this poem. The hurt and sadness you write about seem very real and raw. the last verse is an excellent conclusion; it broke my heart when I read it, but I suppose that was the intention of your poem...really make the reader feel the pain, and not just read about it...

    For the title, I think "Betrayal" sounds good...I'm just wondering, you say "ruby tears". As far as i know, "ruby" is a synonym for "red". By red tears, do you mean that you are bleeding, or crying blood? Just my own curiosity here...

    Great write and good luck!

    -morgana

    p.s. if you have time, I'd like to hear any suggestions you may have for poems I wrote for the same contest...thanks!

  • marissabeth
    July 5, 2004
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    hey that was really great. like erine said...betrayal would fit for the title very well. your rhyming was pretty solid. good stuff. showed emotion and all! great write!

  • xearinex
    July 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    wow that was good. y not betrayal for the title. keep it up i liked it sad but a great write. keep it up. EaRiNe!!!!

1 - 7 of 7