In mourning of things that never were
people that were never there,
a loss of her dreams and fantasies
now drown in reality's despair.
All brilliant colors have faded to gray,
laughter has been reduced to tears,
her heart now encased in a tomb of stone
guarded by harsh contempt, and fear.
Emotions blend with the shadows,
hardly felt, and barely seen
repressing all of the sorrow,
of the might've beens and never will bes.
Hopes have dashed beyond her grasp
vacancy has invaded her eyes
with nothing left to hope for,
her soul crawls to it's demise.
Author notes
This feels cut off, there should be more but my thoughts are complete.
Written July 5th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
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sometime life's tears
well deep inside
leaving one hollow
full of regrets...
wondering where the path will take us next...
but until we take the next corner we never know!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill -
I can definitely relate to this poem...great work!!!
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I enjoyed this poem but please can I make a humble observation?
...OK thanks,
Well I must be honest and say that when ever I read things from a third person's perspective it just doesn’t feel real or sincere (OK not always). It’s kind of like going to see a band. They start playing an amazing song and all you want to do is fall in love with them for the night...then it happens...they start singing about 'other' people’s problems and the magic lands a fatal stage dive.
Do you know what I mean?
Ramblings aside, Thanks for a great poem!
James
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I can relate to that first stanza oh so very much, it really cuts into me. Very saddening and has a 'hopeless' feel to it, yet quite touching at the same time. Good write.
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great
I feel this poem is quite a gem, dark, sad, but very meaningful I'm off to read some more of your stuff -
we must remember that life cuts us short at times without explanation. just like some movies that play and never end like you expect. the ending is sometimes a beginning as vice versa. it was like dejavu reading this poem as it caused me to flashback to my most written 'near DARK.' i had the same feeling while writing it but in a mild twist. a fine creation, DARK.
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this is really sad, Tiff. Hopelessness is the worst state of human existence. this is very powerfully written... brings a lot of emotions out of the reader. it made me cry out in protest wishing i could give hope to whoever this poem alludes to.
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touche' on ur reply
did not mean to offend u though. very nice work! really loved the emotions in the write. thank you for your time and your poems.
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"her heart now encased in a tomb of stone
guarded by harsh contempt, and fear."
wow that was great.... incredible infact... nicely said and dictated and that my friend is an understatement....
this poem shows someone's (a girl's) hopelessness rather brilliantly with all the imagery and such... awesome work ... i m thrilled i m gonna check on u from time to time... u r great
~shillo
PS: Loved this para:
"Emotions blend with the shadows,
hardly felt, and barely seen
repressing all of the sorrow,
of the might've beens and never will bes." -
I agree with the first stanza the most...nothing lasts forever and it's pretty sad that even the fondest things have to go sometime. Loved the imagery, and how you mixed nature and whatnot with your soul. But yeah, interesting poem; take care.
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sounds like me...
it's eerie the way you ALWAYS do that...
great job! keep it up!
~JayLynn
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i think this is well written and if your thoughts are complete then it must be complete. good write.
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Awesome release sweetie and thank you for sharing it~
It must have been hard to write~
Bravo for you for writing it~
If you feel it is complete~It is complete~
Only you know the chapter in the story~
You know when its done
and much love~Desire
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yeah, I see what you mean about the cut off part... maybe you just need one more stanza... a dramatic finish or even just one that allows the reader to sit and ponder for a while... but other than that, i loved it. it was fantabulous tiff! you use such fancy words. my fav was the second stanza, i think i can relate to that very well. youre so good! keep it going and going and going and going and going and going and.... well, you get the point
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I like the image of the soul crawling to one's death, very unique. Nicely written. Doesn't feel cut off to me. -N
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