I hold onto your memories they're all I have of you,
the promise when we met I would feel brand new.
Your love was like a door it opened up my heart,
you always promised we would never be apart.
The door slammed shut you took away the key.
this pain is so unbearable are you too blind to see.
If I had not put my faith in you it would not hurt so bad,
I feel like such a fool I can't stop feeling sad.
My life has been shattered you really let me down,
you left without a trace the day you left our town.
Why can't you love me why couldn't you stay,
you never told me why you just walked away.
You promised me the world and I would be your wife,
now all I can feel is emptiness in my lonely life.
Half of me wants to die my other half wants to live,
everywhere I see your face I have nothing left to give.
I wish one moment each day you would leave my mind,
I dream of you as I sleep my pain is left behind.
I long to be near you my heart won't let go,
I hate myself because I still love you so.
Author notes
#3
Written July 4th, 2004
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*HOODWINKED*
Stunning picture. The picture really just accented your words very well. Your poem could stand on it's on without the picture. Excellent work. Excellent flow. Excellent rhyme.. I think you've got the point of my comment. Your poem is excellent. By the way, you've just been hoodwinked. Kassie
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thanx for commenting on my poem
and this was amazing i am left speechless
keep up the good work
andrea -
Thank you for the nice comment. I never wrote poetry behore June 26 and this one was written on July 4, it is one of my learning poems. I am still learning. I appreciate your advice.
One of these days I should go back and redo some of these earlier poems. Thank you and take care, Sandy
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Ahhhh, the universal theme of unrequited love. One of life's many experiences that you are sure to endure...again! The poetic structure is a bit labored as the meter is without consistency or pattern. You might want to rework this one, after the emotions cool, because it has the making of a great work that most of your readers can relate to, just pay more attention to the rhythm. Glad I found you, lots of talent here.
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wow, i love the rhyming and the flow in this peice. it shows alot of emotion that i have once felt before. great write!
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I love this poem! I relate so well to it and it flows really well, it pulls the heart strings. I loved this part "Half of me wants to die my other half wants to live,
everywhere I see your face I have nothing left to give."
Great Job! Best of luck in the contest! -
This is so sad. A tear-jerker...
Wow I don't even know what to say.
Great write and thank you.
Serena* -
This is beautiful and moving. I definitely felt your pain and loss here. Thank you for the entry. -N
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I am mad at myself for I can't let you go...
a song in this piece that too many have sung,
may you find joy and comfort within your day
good luck in the contest
Tamara
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