sun-rising-books.com/juno_s_peacock_1.html
My favorite planet is Uranus
I don't care what you think,
Because you barely do
I have ninja skills and I
wear socks for shoes
I look edgy, but I feel
Country. I don't get out
much, to put it bluntly
I am very good looking,
and muscular with just
enough hair on all the
right spots. I'm interesting
Like toilet bowl cleaner
My favorite movie?
Dead Ringers.
With a beard, and hazel eyes
two ranch dressings, and some
cold french fries, I spot from a
distance Suzanne Summer's
Thighs, and I shout "FLEX!"
And then I flip her off and flash
her my ding-a-ling. I am brave
like melting chocolate. I have
Hip style like a Gillette triple blade
razor, lubricated. My underwear?
Too tight. My hat's tag? Just right,
and I'm a guaranteed one night
stand with a side of super herpes.
Guess what?
Fuck You
Guess when?
Any time
Guess how?
Economically
Guess why?
I'm American
As American as a Golden Retriever
and a snow-cone by the pool
It's good to be a white republican
It's good to think "Down-sizing's cool"
Later on for desert, perhaps
I'll downsize a Mai Tai, and
contemplate how to get in
your wife's pants, or at least
deprive your daughter of a
college grant. What the fuck?
There are only so many holes
to putt through before happy hour,
and a limo back to the airport.
Vote For George Bush!
Because, it's the Masonic thing to do,
and the guy sounds really funny
If you're blown on glue.
sun-rising-books.com/juno_s_peacock_1.html
Author notes
If fear was a soda, it would be a warm Tab.
sun-rising-books.com/juno_s_peacock_1.html
Written July 4th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- I want to hear about something that you really love to do! by Spooky Black Wolf.
300 points, ended February 22, 2006, 21 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 76 of 76
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'brave like melting chocolate'...um...i guess that's brave? It tastes good anyways, and that's really all that counts. lol I love your comedy stuff, since I have an over-active sense of humor. Your page cracked me up, and so do your poems. I can't believe I hadn't read any of your things before.
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Very cool poem. The message is awesome and stated in a catching way. The only line I am not sure about is the last, because after such good flow throughout the poem that last line just seems like complete forced rhyme. This poem reminded me of a song by Christine Lavin (unknown little singer)... its her "republican theme song" -- here are the lyrics
"We are the true americans
we are in the right,
God bless the republicans
Especially those of us rich and white
We dont believe in homosexuals
Or a womens right to choose
Only we know what a family is
Only we know what is right for you
So join with Arnold Schwarzanegger
And the fun loving NRA
And the fabulous rush limbaugh
Perfect role models for kids today.
Yes, we are the true americans
everyone else is WRONG
if your not with us,
we have to hate you
But thats ok because hatred makes us strong,
Hatred makes us so darn strong!!"
Hope you atleast find it amusing.
--ack-- -
This is great. I love the double entendre, and the snidely dry puns. Great work. And as for the pop star....Hilary Duff or Lindsey Lohan....I just can't decide who I can't stand more...
Always,
Chelsea -
hilariously entertaining. i liked the cadence and layout. my favorite was definitely the guess what? sequence.
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Awesome. There's a lot of hidden meaning in this, I can see. I like how you've left it open to some interpretation while still driving your point home. Great job on this, and if $4 really is going to killing a pop star, count me in. (well it depends on which one, I guess
)
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I was attracted to the poem because of the title. LOL
Actually, the title is Philip Dick-esque, but I digress. The poem was wonderfully done. You really expressed with accuracy the "Fuck you" attitude that we Americans have. Americans are always right, what bullshit. Keep up the good write!!!
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rargh. stupid fuckin pc got knocked offline right when i was applauding.
technology sucks.
kill a new kid on the block for me.
peace out. -
I only wish every country had a Bush all the world's problems would be solved then, world hunger...there would be no one to hunger, AIDS there would be no one for it to bother......*sigh* If there ever was a great argument for cloning Bush would be it....
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The American way of doing things, it seems, is to write and/or promote something, and bury anyone in shit that doesn't like it. Works for me! Granted, I voted for Bush, but let's face it: he needs a speech therapist. Maybe then he'll be able to pronounce "nuclear."
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omg this is funny as hell! and I just had to laugh hysterically about the "fuck you" part and the George W. Bush part... let's see, should Jessica Simpson or Britney Spears go first??
luve,
sweethart -
wow, this is so good, i love free verse , so way to go, for sure impressed me
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Great!
I think it should be Justin Timberlake myself. Anyway, this is really good. Two thumbs up! Keep writin'!
Annie
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Yes, yes, we've had four chits for immediate execution dropped on her today. Should we quarter her, or death by food poisoning in Prague?
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Ashlee simpson needs to die I think.
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Yes, absolutely.
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AWESOME!
I love the unrepentant, in-your-face language of the narrator! This poem is amusing, unique, and highly diverting. Kudos on the book! I'm sure it's wonderful! Can I pick the pop star to get rid of? Please? -
I think I have commented on this but I am not sure. Any pop star I wish? Or just a certain one? It was very good. I loved it!
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This isn't just funny, it's a CLEVER funny...first off, I love the similes:
>
>
>
Also, it really sort of hit home with me--I'm an American who grew up in a small, redneck town, but by the grace of I-dunno-what got a free ride to an international boarding school. Consequently, I always get a bit of a shock coming home and seeing people like this: people who don't realize what the hell they're doing, people who think this is the way "real Americans" ought to be.
This is a classic; I'm recommending it to all my friends!! -
this is hilarious. You have this very whimsical way of writing even though what you actually write is fairly serious. great job on this.
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Very Very DIFFRENT, but VERY VERY GOOD, and i'm not the only one who things so as you can see. And a great title, i love titles like this, keep it up.
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Very cool! I was planning on buying it even if you said NO
When I get back to California, I'll have to visit one of your shows, you'll know its me, because my shirt will say "I love Juno's Peacock" 
Or I might take you up on that coffee!
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Absolutely, I'm touring this winter -- bring it to a show, and I'll get you and your friends some drinks, backstage, etc. Or we could just grab a coffee sooner, and skip the flash and flair.
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If I buy it will you sign it for me?
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aaaah, this is definitly interesting! i've not read anything quite like it, very catchy, and some eye opening views. yea, interesting.
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excellent
I love it. Nice poem. Ill click on the link and probably buy the book. How I wish almost every pop star could be killed. Ashlee Simpson would be the first on my list..shes hypocritical and has no talent. Ugh.. Welp, this was a great poem and everything about it was well worth the read.
-cole xo- -
yes
I can always be sure to find a free thinking narrator
here on one of your pages. I love that I hate you, while secretly wondering how you kiss.
I guess.
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The title makes the poem. Great sense of irony and humor displayed in the work.
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This was too funny. The title alone is pure genius, art eye-candy. And yeah, the only way I can stomach Bush is when I'm high and yet can STILL realize he's mispronouncing words. Great writing with this one. Funny. Ironic. Sarcastic. You hit all the high points of what I look for in poetry
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Hey awesome poem!!! And guess what! I go to that book store at least once a week! hehe, I live on in walking distance of it, they have great journals and whatnot. Anyways great poem,
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Ah, I see. You're not?
Well you surprised me. Barbie. Xx
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Well Barbie, it's a book of poetry that I wrote about life.
I'm sure if you clicked on the link, and opened your eyes and read the prologue, you'd get the gist of it; and no, I'm an anarchist/liberal tree hugging tofu tossing gerbal squatter. -
This poem was fun but I have no idea what the book's about so I won't be buying it. Do you count as a pop star? Barbie. Xx
Edited on Jul 21, 10:41 because 'Is it a book of your poems? If so, are they on this site?'. -
Well, than click on the link and buy it.
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Crazy...but enjoyable. Way to capture the hick attitude!
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Hey NeverGiveUp: Avril is neither pop princess (pop punk, maybe...), nor american. I went out to dinner with her mom last week (I live near Napanee, Ont, where she grew up). But I'm with you on Britney
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Great write! Funny piece! I'd buy the book! hehe
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Of course, that's the point.
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starts reading snickers reads some more giggles reads on laughs uncontrollably OMG regains composure That last stanza, love it. My oh my, this was just too weird and funny. So, when I buy the book, can I pick which pop star to kill? Britney or Avril, hmmm, tough choice.
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Every time someone buys the book... We inch closer and closer to Uranus. And that's EXCITING, to say the least.
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Buy the book, they only take VISA, like the Special Olympics
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This would be the perfect personal ad. In fact, I think it is a personal ad. Hey, you hitting on me?
But seriously, this was a hilarious piece, the pacing was great, you just kept coming up with new stuff, and it sounds so honest, like they put you on crazy pills and then gave you the Honesty elixir.
I'm all for killing pop stars. Blonde ones... shudder
~Anastasia -
lol
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Anyone you'd like, pick one, but you have to buy the book, or your wish doesn't come true.
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hmm, well i'll say it was interesting, and i'll refrain from stepping up onto my political soapbox. no need to start heated debates on the pleasant little community of ap.
$4 to killing a pop star.. heh. only one? which one?
elizabeth -
I don't know what I enjoyed more...the poem or your additional comments. Both were fun; and if I could donate points toward killing a pop star, you could have all two thousand some odd.
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No, I'm dead serious, click the link, buy the book -- let's colon-eyes.
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oh my gosh...are you trying to be funny or what...because like either you are or your trying to be mean...w/e it is i kind of think its funny....any how id vote for bush because he kicks ass...
*punky -
Buy the book, it's a deadringer for a parody of the love boat, but on a submarine.
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that title is very entertaining as well...
i just had to click on it, after reading that
-Scott Baltz -
thats really kind of humorous
its a very true depiction of the society that we dwell in each day though
great writing
always good to see new styles and emphasis
awesome job!
-Scott Baltz -
Click on the link, buy a book, and felch a senator with it, it's the right thing to do.
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buy the book, click on the link, and moon walk on michael jacksons face.
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wow and wow again this is one of those poems that leave you with a warm carefree feelings on the inside. This is a wonderful satire on e that every american should read, although it may piss off the stupid ones at least you'd know you accomplished something! needless to say i enjoyed your work. it should be tatooed to the back of radom politicions just to annoy the fuck out of them. Sign
-pixy
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Buy the book than squid, and beat a poodle to death with it, merely click on the link and pre-order yours today, lest the gay get them all.
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Click the link, buy the book, kill a popstar.
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"Vote For George Bush! Because, it's the Masonic thing to do," is the line that gets my applause. Not because it's a Bush bash, hell, anybody can state their opinion... that should be considered normal, not applause worthy, but because it's a clever and original way of getting your point across... a theme which pervades this entire work, but is summed up best in that little coda. I'll definitely be checking out some more of your stuff.
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beaauuuuuutiful. wonderful. i love it. it's witty, it's political, it speaks. great great great. bush drives me crazy. it pains me to see him. argh. but fantastic poem.
xjillx -
Yeah....Fuck American.....Yeah.....typical. I love your poetry always have...you have so much talent i wish to gain it...your original and you know i envy that shit...always have always will...lemon.
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this was veeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeery interesting, i'll look into the book, but yea the poem was interesting.... very, thanks for sharing it and good luck with book sales....
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Tonight, while consuming a late dinner with my wife and son, my son
said to me (After a series of loud explosions were heard from a cluster of
M-80s somewhere out in the mad night...) "DAD! Can I look out
the window and see what it is?"
To which I replied
"Why bother, whatever it was... It's dead now"
Edited on Jul 05 because ''. -
Congradulations- one of the best writers on this site deserves to be in print. Says more in a sentence than the average Joe can articulate in a page. Hope is sells like Harry Potter and stays closer to the edge than a gutter
David
forgot to mention the poem promoting the book- now I have
Edited on Jul 05 because 'forgot to mention the poem'. -
REally? I think I'll just shoot a Young Republican and take his copy of Juno's Peacock...because, well hell, he won't need it anyway....and it's more American this way...getting something for nearly nothing...and bullets are cheaper than food.
Loved the poem. It's zippy and bright and funny....like George Bush on glue. He's probably a funny guy...if you have enough money to actually meet him. Just like Bill Clinton...but you could have gotten by on female wiles and collagen lips with ol'Bill...whatta card. -
lol nice. Ah well, Bush sucks..
Kami
(not much of a comment, sorry) -
This was really random. I liked it though. Lots of opinions in it. Good job. YAY! Always, D*
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"Vote For George Bush!
Because, it's the Masonic thing to do,
and the guy sounds really funny
if you're high on glue."
Hilarious. Just fucking hilarious.
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That's the mask they wear now... Isn't?
get the book, kill a popstar, live a little.
the link to the books on the poem. -
Many, click on the link it's called Juno's Peacock, it's the best book they've got, and the cover is SPIFFY, lol.
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Yay! This poem had such a sense of musicality! The thing that bothered me about this poem, though, is that I'd expect Republicans to be a bit more conservative than this guy.
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Horus are there any bad words in it? I have twenty five dollars now.
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Click on the link and get the book, it's called Juno's Peacock.
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The books called Juno's Peacock, and the links on the poem
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the links there, order it, it's called juno's peacock
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Order the book, for christ sake.
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Great little thing ya got here...KILL HILARY DUFF FOR GODS SAKE PLEASE KILL HILARY DUFF. whoa ok calm now. anyway, great write.
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goood
Dude.... this is so great.... how in the hell did you think this up. I really like the way this was written and the political backlash it displays (coming from a liberal republican and yes I mean a liberal republican not a conservative). OXYMORON
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this is great! i loved it. i would give so much more than $4 if it would kill Brittney Spears...but thats just me. keep writing, i love your style!
~KK~
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