OF FRIENDS AND LOVE.
They are as parasites,
leeches, ballooning,
who suck your blood
and bring down your fever
to cure you of all
that would claim your essence.
Existing, enduring.
All for your sake.
OF ENEMIES AND HATE
They shovel manure
believing they build castles,
the battlements from which
they'll perch and endure,
to await the devouring,
blissfully unaware of their stench.
Resisting, procuring.
All for their sake.
Author notes
Sometimes the fine line is finer than we think and not always visible.
( The reference to leeches and parasites is to people who are so close they are in your blood, always around).
Written July 4th, 2004
A contest entry
- love - what does it mean to you? hate - define the line? by .
302 points, ended July 4, 2004
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 62 of 62
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Interesting write and you are so right about the fine line. I have known people like that but not anymore.
Now I guess I am strong enough not to let anyone live my life for me and treasure my solitude too much to have friends who are round my neck constantly. As for enemies I just don't have the time to smell their stench, wrapped up in my own world, if they can't affect you they can't hurt you is what I feel.
I and my friends give each other a lot of space, yet when we meet we share a lot and when the time of crisis comes we are there for each other. -
you are creative with your words. i was hooked after reading the first line.
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Sometimes we only think there is a line, but quite often it is merely a figment of our imagination. In this poem you say things most would not express in ways that few would use to express their feelings. It is a rather risky way of fiddling with people's perception. But appealing in a strange way nevertheless. Thank you for creating and sharing. Take care,
Rage -
yikes - with friends like that, who needs enemies? and with enemies like that - who needs a war in Iraq?
Best wishes,
Moses -
I have friends and have had, "so-called friends". The "so-called" ones are definately papasites, as you say. The real ones, coincide with my beliefs and soothe me when feelings are rought. I agre totally with the second stanza! Very insightful work here, profound indeed!
Renee ♥ -
They are as parasites,
leeches, ballooning,
This is the only part that threw me off, since you start out with a list but then add a verb...if you can fix that, then I think that this piece is greatly written. -
So let's begin again.
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It seems I missed these back when. This is really a good look at that fine line. I have a friend that fits that catagory actually. she is so much a part of my life that i think it would take surgery to seperate all the parts.
i must look and see what else I missed... Summer does that to a person.
Susan -
Nice
OOOOOO very good, I loved this one >
reminded me of a few things I wrote in the past and a few things of music lol, I liked it good job
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Perfecto!
You are absolutely correct in your observations! 'Tis why we are better off being hermits. Great write! -
Insightful
How Blakean of you to have two comparing/contrasting poems on differing states of spiritual relationships. -
a fine line between love and hate.. my head is frantically trying to remember who sang that line... aww to have a brain
anyways i read it and then your comments and re-read it -! you have used powerfull imagery to depict your message and it works on two levels i guess - the leech that bleeds yo dry of emotion and that which heals and protects- in medieval times leeches were used as a means of ailing all ills ...
good stuff hunny
elaine x -
i love where your mind goes... the parallels it draws... the creativity coming forth, you are so talented! I really really really enjoy your poetry!
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I'm glad I read your author's comments, because I associated parasites and leeches as false friends/family members who attach themselves to you then slowly bleed you to death--LOL! Your version is a different way of looking at that.
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Well, it's not like I'm going to disagree with anything here. Though parasites do cause harm, I do wonder if friends and love cause harm as well.
Parasite:animal or plant that lives in or on a host. Thus would be one way of looking at a 'friend'.. And it's almost right if you apply it on both sides to EXCEPT then it fits another definition.. symbiotic.. or symbiot.
So yes, I do agree to some extent. And a very nice line drawn. -
i didnt like the poem it was BLAH it wasnt something that grasped me
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Excellent and very moving piece. I have to agree with you, it is a fine line between what is acceptable as friendship, and when it over steps that mark and becomes suffocating.
Kat xxxx -
I really love your newest write, because of the way you described everything. Your words were very nicely written, and I always find your writes classy. Thanks for sharing this. I enjoyed reading this alot.
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she's a pro
Sometimes the lines do cross - how many times have i had manure shoveled at me from loving leeches. The best is at Thanksgiving where i have to wear my knee high rubber boots - Welcome one and all ...Happy Thanksgiving, don't give me any of your crap now let's dig in - blah, blah, blah
I too thought of the leeches as taking away and draining but you took that and turned it into a positive.
Another fine example of your amazing talent thanks!
Edited on Jul 05, 6:26 because ''. -
wow, this was definitely unusual but i loved how you used your imagination and creativity! it was really great, and definitely true in many cases, keep up the great work! ~kris~
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A very well thoughtout and written piece....i enjoyed the wording....the line is so very thin...great job here....thanks for sharing
dark search -
true. great write keep it up thanx for sharing. EaRiNe!!!!
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Wow - two very different and very pointed pieces - the line is clearly drawn, my dear - I really like these.
Scott
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can you say awesome???? wow that was very unique, i liked the part:
They are as parasites,
leeches, ballooning,
who suck your blood
and bring down your fever
to cure you of all
that would claim your essence.
Existing, enduring ,
all for your sake.
the first part best, did anyone but me like it best? -
i liked the leeeches thing
at first glance i disagreed
because although some people are leeches love isn't much to do with leeches.
I then read your author comment and yesh
was a lot more subtle than i first imagined..
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I agree with most comments , unique and abit hard to understand at first , but then after some thought and rereading it again it is a very intriguing write that stands out from most normal writes , and hence it stands very strong and powerful
z
Reenie
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So descriptive...I was also confused at first but after I read it through a couple times I got it. lol yea im kinda slow. Great write!
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Excellent
This poem is very unique. I loved the comparison of friends to leeches and parasites. It was very creatively written. It had a lot of depth to it. Great write, Keep it up.
Always, D* -
I really liked how the words that you chose seemed so odd at first, not making any sense, but then after I read it again, really fit into place, making perfect sense.
~By the way, best of luck in your contest. -
Oh wow what a fantastic write, but I was a little worried when I read :
They are as parasites,
leeches, ballooning,
who suck your blood
But yes I have to agree with your words,
Take care and good luck in the contest
Elaine
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A very unique write. I felt you being quite adventurous with this one and stepping outside of the 'box' and allowing more creativity to shine through.Only my own opinion. As usual another great write. Thank you
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I wanted to comment on your poem, after your featured points ran out...so you would get the most clicks. I love this and can see the reason for all the interest in it. What i find intriguing is how comments about the negativity of hatred in both pieces...must be a cosmic coincidence. That, or we both draw from similar wellsprings. Powerful and intense. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard
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alot of truth in such short form
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I agree with you, I don't think most know they are leeches, but if you are the giving person, they just learn to take without thinking of it as leeching. well written.
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Yes, as others have said, the ring of truth. nice work, r.
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I think this is an interesting take on what friends and enemies means. I never would have thought of friends being leeches, but now that I do think about it, leeches are there to help people out. That, in comparison to the manure shovelers, the subtle difference in the lines.. great write you have here!! Good luck in the contest you are in
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I didn't like the references to leeches as friends but that's just a personal thing with me. You hit the enemy part right on the button. My enemy could do well to take your advice... Eat s@@t and die.
Sincerely,
Leo Long -
A unique verse, and well thought out and written. Good luck in the contest.
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The parasite thing seemed kinda wierd at first, but it make sense... I really like the part about enemies and hate... made me laugh... very true...
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A remarkably raw and honest write. Your words are excellent (though I do hope you don't really feel this way about friendship, I guess it's your opinion if you do).
Thanks for sharing this poem with us. -
I'm with Shastadaisey, can see you point, but don't agree. Unique metephors, I had a friend like that. Did you mean in your blood in a good way or bad?
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hmmm, the metaphors were strong and unique... my interpretation before i got to your author's comments was that friends were like leeches in that they have both pros and cons.. but i see how you meant it now.
great poem, i love the way you explain these two groups of people.
best of luck in the contest.
elizabeth -
this is good...i really like it... im not sure what to say but the metaphors are awesome....i like....
*punky -
Hmmm, this poem is interesting. I never would have thought of my friends as parasites. But that makes sense. I have a lot of friends who are that close to me. I like your form its very unique. And I liked the part about enemies who shovel manure. This is a great write. Keep inking.
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This was great. The first line reflects how everyone feels, at one time or another. It's like you just want to shake them off and be alone for once. Close friends can turn on you and don't seem like friends anymore, but they'll try! It's a brutal way to describe it, but you've done a swell job! Thanks for sharing this.
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Wise and wonderful
Excellent images and metaphors. The second reminds me of someone whom I know, who fluttered to the top of the manure heap to crow about how wonderful she is, putting others down for the sake of feeling a little better herself.
It's all vanity, that friends and enemies pierce in their own ways. I prefer friends.
Your form is gorgeous, quite spare and pointed, without wasted words or flowery talk. The symmetry is also wonderful.
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Ahhhh my sweet Ginger--another marvelous work, as usual--esp the title. Friends indeed can be parasites-I liked that one quite a bit. The enemies piece rings just as true. Always a pleasure to read your stuff. Keep writing!!
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(Quick gripe: why must everyone call their poems "societal" when they're not? I wish they could have a "political" section, to draw a better line.)
The only real thing I saw in this that drew a line was the "their/your sake" lines. Other than that, this honestly seemed like a motley crew of images and cliches thrown haphazardly together- at first glance. However, once I reread it multiple times, I realized that it was simply a rather pretentious way of stating the obvious- that friends are on your side and enemies are not. I don't really know what to say to this other than that it didn't impress or leave the feelings with me that it clearly left with others. "What's done is done... you're on your own." -The Nightwatchman -
Powerfully written. I love when words are more thans just words..and you have done a wondeeful job with that here.
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i, too, savored the metaphors here. this is somewhat a departure? you have done free verse with equisite flow and phrasing. the last lines in each stanza conclude each idea with insightful and true finality. excellent write.
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There is a definite semantic twist here: grotesque imagery for friends, and a lexis with more positive connotations (ie "sweet", "blissfully"). Yes, very interesting. Not much to critique really.
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some great little metaphors here...I can understand your poem...not sure I agree with it ...but that's okay I don't have to in order to think it is good and I wish you luck in the contest...freda
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hehe...what a cheery poem lol. no really though, I see where it is coming from and you've done a great job.
best wishes to you in the contest!
~ O -
Excellent!
Wow, this is a really great poem. I love the metaphors in the first part. It is a very creative way to describe closeness. While reading the first line in the second stanza, I laughed out loud.
Really a great write!
God Bless,
Anulka -
i really love this - the first verse: yes. it certainly can seem that way at times, lost in the circle of i am here for you. i love-hate the ballooning refrence as that speaks to me. i get told i balloon when trying to talk and a football match is on lol and i rabbit on and on until - shut up!
the second verse: yes: it's like the first verse, but when you are in a mood lol i love you, now get out of my face with your bull or i'll have to kick the wall a few times. -
Wow. Truly amazing, I hope to be like you, considering I just started! ^^
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excellent!
I was blow away...your imagery is beyond compare, leading the reader to where you want them exactly to be! -
Thought-provoking
Intriguing work that was well expressed...I don't personally agree with the friends one (if you replaced it with 'relatives' then i might agree wholeheartedly) but nonetheless, with the glasses of a dry sense of humour I can understand what you mean when define friends as 'parasites' and 'leeches'...and as for the enemies, that was EXCELLENT. After reading your author comment, i can agree and now i understand why you say that the 'fine line is finer than we think and not always visible.' ... I like it a lot, although i'd love to do a rewrite and have a positive slant on both friends and enemies (that sounds strange.. but it might just work)
Well, after all that babbling, i'd like to say well done, for that thought provoking piece. I love work which forces me to think.. it's the sign of a great write
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Wow! Great imagary and flow! I think u drew a line beautifully and clearly! Well done!
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hmmm .. i am not ashamed that i missed something that is surely there ... the enemies and hate part was fine but with friends as above ? who needs enemies .. ;-) having a bad day ? be cool
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Wow very 'in your face' good here. This seems to have power through the words that you choose. Really good. ***smiles*** God bless you. ~Melissa
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this is a powerful,a nd well done write that you have crated here,...the words ringing so triue. it is gorgeous
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