Don't Stay

I can't believe a word you say
You're lying all the time
Don't say you didn't love them all
Don't say you didn't love it
When the person you hate can make you happy
What does that say about you?

You're head is in a fucking ditch
You can't see straight
Because I'm standing in your line of view
Why don't you just tell me?

You can't shut up
You can't stop running in circles

Every time you retreat back into this
You find your best friends and hold them closer than the rest
I've lost everything because I defended you
I disowned my best friends
and I killed all of my family

You don't think I do it for you, do you?
You don't want to see, so you don't have to
You assume that my motives are the worst and I will let you
I let this happen because I started it
You finished it

I was done with you
I was going to forget your face, your words, your touch
But I had to crawl back
I always do
Talking never helps because you never admit when I'm right

Stop being mad at yourself through me
Be mad at me for what I did, not how you feel
Fuck you
You've done everything to me and nothing for me
I don't want this because it's not real
I spent so much time convincing myself that it was
But I always knew who you were and what you did

Even though I know it won't go away
I am begging for the day that it does
It can't come soon enough
You think I want this?
You think I like you fucking with me all the time?

I'm the most paranoid person I know
I assume the worst
And I assume the unlikely
And you've proved that both can happen

I've done nothing but try with you
And I know I shouldn't have
I know I was wrong
But you were wrong too
Get over the fact that you're perfect
I'm about to

You can't play both sides of the field
You're not the greatest multi-tasker I guess
If you aren't her friend you have to be her enemy

You know what you do
You make people jealous
And you make them uncomfortable
You think I'm going to give up living my life the way I want to,
Just because you keep putting things in my way?
I won't
I can't
I'm not going to lose this

I lost people who cared
But I don't have to lose you
I don't have to lose you
Because I never had you

You have room for one friend at a time
And your heart can't handle all of this
You can't handle me, so you cut me out of your life
I am a mistake
A mistake of yours or a mistake of the Earth
Maybe i should never have been born
But that's none of your fucking business

Has anyone ever told you anything bad about you to your face?
It would be surprising
You've got everyone scared of you
You know how to make people like you
And you know how to make them care
And they do
They really care about you

You're not a horrible person
But you can do horrible things
I think you're well aware of that

You don't know how to speak
You use actions to tell me what to do
I listen
I do whatever you say
Fucking tell me to kill myself
You know I would do it
Eventually
But now I don't want to do it anymore
I don't want to give it up for anyone but myself

I remember when you cared
But I guess you don't get that I still care
I'll always care
You think I'm sarcastic
You think I'm doing it to look good in your eyes
I'm not
I can't fucking help it

So fuck you
Fuck me
Everyone's pretty much fucked already

Everyone knows that I'm losing
I'm losing it
Everything
You drive me crazy
But did I say that was a bad thing?

So grab your best buddy and laugh
You know you will
But don't tell me none of this is true
I know some of it isn't
It's a rant, I can't be all happy and loving here

Have I ever burned you?
Please go on, tell me when
Why don't you fucking tell me what I've done?
Tell me everything
Because I don't fucking see it
I never see anything, right?
I couldn't possibly understand what I've done

It's the same both ways
I hurt you, you hurt me
Maybe yours hurts a little more though
I actually care about you
So tell me how bad I am
Tell me how I ruined your life
Because seriously, if you don't give a shit about me
How could I do that?

You think I don't hate myself for all of this?
I do
I hate everything

You have no fucking clue