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Panoramic View(Traditional Haiku)

crystal blue waters
hovering ridged mountain peaks
echo of silence

Author notes

This was inspired by my vacation to Lake Louise, not the photo. I wrote this haiku from my memory of my visit, and then found this photo. If you haven't been there, GO THERE. It's the most beautiful place to be in the world! You will never want to leave- you will feel like you are in paradise. The picture does not do it justice! Interesting that my memory of lake Louise was dead on! But let me tell you once again, this photo does NOT do Lake Louise justice- it's beauty can not be captured in a photo. I do have an even better photo though- and will put that one up when I find it- it gives a true picture of the lake!
Written June 27th, 2004

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Comments

1 - 37 of 37

  • intanglio2ring
    August 13, 2007
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    Thanks

    Wonderful entry!
    Tang


  • Florida Sunshine
    August 12, 2007

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    This is an excellent formed "Traditional" Haiku~ I've seen many different versions... but this is great. Excellent JOB ~ Good luck in the contest!!!

  • tigress3737
    August 12, 2007
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    Beautiful picture and you captured the feelings while looking at it. Thank you for entering


  • Stardust-luvr
    August 6, 2007

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    well done and the picture is awesome in its own self-It gives me a true feeling of peace and tranquility. xx good luck xx


  • Starretta
    May 19, 2007
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    WOW!!! This poem is great! I like it a lot! Good luck in my contest!


  • wishintreeUK
    June 8, 2005
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    This haiku is brilliant, the imagery your words convey come from the core of the picture that you have seen, your mind has obviously picked up on the most important essence of what the picture speaks of to you.

    Well Done!

    ~Katie~


    • duana
      February 13, 2007
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      Actually, this haiku was based on the experience I had at Lake Louise (the lake in the picture), and this picture of it brings out the exact essence of how being there really makes you feel as expressed in my haiku. It is glorious.


  • Sau
    January 30, 2005
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    Dear Duana,
    You say that the picture doesn't do justice to reality, but it is still very beautiful in itself. I like the way you end the ku: "echo of silence" - it has a lingering meditative feel to it, especially when placed below the lovely picture!
    Well written,
    Saurabh.


    • duana
      February 13, 2007
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      THis is a different picture than I first put up. Not sure if I changed my author comments though, lol


  • anithradia
    November 6, 2004
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    Actually, I have been to Lake Louise, though it was a few years ago. Nevertheless, you have to take in to account that many people have not, and even so ...


  • duana
    November 5, 2004
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    PS as I said, this picture really doesn't do Lake Louise Justice- it's a shadow of the real thing. I actually have another picture of it that matches a real life visit perfectly. I am going to post it sometime, but I have to get it scanned first.


  • duana
    November 5, 2004
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    Hi. Have you ever been to lake Louise? Trust me the experience takes the cliche out of the first line. I am in no way being defensive. You MUST go to Lake louise, and the first thing that will pop into your head is 'crystal blue water'- LITERALLY crystal blue. No other lake or body of water would that phrase fit literally for. I am not kidding.


  • anithradia
    November 5, 2004
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    I like the imagery of it, particularly the idea of mountain peaks "hovering" and the "echo of silence" (basically half the poem -- heh). The first line, I feel, is a bit cliche just because it seems like water is always being described that way. But it is a good description of Lake Louise!

  • duana
    October 5, 2004
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    Thanks saurbh!


  • malkinpuss
    October 5, 2004
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    excellent

    Beautiful!


  • forgotten dream
    October 4, 2004
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    beautiful description that goes great with the chosen picture. it's so peaceful, and serene. i love the last line in this, it just really brings it all together. great job, and best of luck to you <33


  • Delphinidae
    October 2, 2004
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    I am really starting to respect, and enjoy the haiku form. Your descrition is so vivid, you didn't even need to post the picture. I feel tranquil after reading this piece.

    Christine


  • Girl In A Box
    September 30, 2004
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    Beautiful picture on this one. I can imagine it almost perfectly. Good luck in the contest.
    -Unvivid Dreams


  • J Rhys Davies
    September 18, 2004
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    Right on the money! I love reading good Haiku, and this just blew me away. The final line was by far the best, because it brought everything into perspective. Excellent job!


  • September 10, 2004
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    I'll always write haiku as 5-7-5 I'm a traditionalist.


  • duana
    September 10, 2004
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    Oh yeah this is when I first started learning haiku and did everything I could to stick to the 575 pattern.


  • September 10, 2004
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    water vs. waters ...hmmm water would enforce the echo, waters tends to spread out the scene....I personally would have went with lake...lol

  • i luv cupcakes
    August 31, 2004
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    It's sounds so serene and peaceful! The picture goes along very well with the haiku! Excellent job! I love it!

    Kayla


  • Abby Eyeball
    July 30, 2004
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    I kind of agree with you that the picture doesn't do this justice at all. I know what you mean when you see something you simply can't describe or capture, you just have to be there and let the scene infiltrate all your senses This was a quaint little write

    -Abby Eyeball-


  • Queen Mab gold member
    July 7, 2004
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    Okie dokie. I'll take your word for it. It is very beautiful. I wish I could travel more; but then again, I'm not very fond of leaving the house. LOL.


  • duana
    July 7, 2004
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    If you went to Lake Louise you would know what I mean by echo of silence, and yes it's an oxymoron. But you'd have to take in this breathtaking beauty yourself to understand it.


  • Queen Mab gold member
    July 7, 2004
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    It is a beautiful picture and your ku stands on its own really well; but I'm a bit confused by the last line, echo of silence. Is it an oxymoron? Silence doesn't echo. Anyway I'm just being honest with what stood out for me most when I read the ku. Its good.


  • missmoomoo
    July 5, 2004
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    I think the picture adds to the poem, espcially with the echo of silence my stream of conscience went from echo and then I related it to reflection of the mountains in the water and the water was echoing the mountians . . . all in my head lol but the poem definately depicts a vision of serene mountain beauty


  • duana
    June 29, 2004
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    Oh and thanks for your comment about the picture...that i wasn't sure about...if someone doesn't understand the full meaning of the title, then they would see the picture as redundant...and it seems that there are a lot of people on here who would misjudge it. But yeah I liked it, just wasn't sure...so thanks!


  • duana
    June 29, 2004
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    hey, you got everything I wanted the reader to get out of this poem, and with the purpose of the title. Really nice intelligent read of this! Thank you!


  • witchyflyer
    June 29, 2004
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    "echo of silence"
    ahhhhh. now. this is a haiku.
    simple, perfect imagry...
    you've captured something... and it's something good.

    I love this haiku... you use such beautiful words, and make such a lovely picture. And I like that you added a picture, even... it kind of... adds that last bit, you know what I mean?

    I love the title you've given this! "Panoramic View"
    makes it seem as though you're taking in everything at once, and it's awesome.

    -Chelsea


  • JenP
    June 27, 2004
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    Beautiful picture! I loved this one too, great description! Looks so tranquil and calm


  • Maatkara gold member
    June 27, 2004
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    Nice one Duana! I was wondering if 'cold blue waters' would help for a seasonal reference. Also, do you really need 'of' in the last line? Then it would complete the sentence from the second.
    ~ G


  • June 27, 2004
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    Georgeous poem and photo

    Beautiful traditional haiku. I love nature, so you swept me away here. Your description is well formed so that I could have seen the sceen even without the photo. However, I'm glad you included it; it's gorgeous.


  • haikumonk gold member
    June 27, 2004
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    Hey there... is this one in the assignments....?.... lol... monk running to check it out. Beautiful lake. I'll place comment in assignment area if it is. Take care.....

    Don


  • branwen
    June 27, 2004
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    cute, but so simple. I liked it. It was refreshing.

  • cinnamon-spider
    June 27, 2004
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    I know very little about Haiku, but this one doesn't seem to be bad. I have so far failed to form an appreciation for them though, so I wont leave a proper critique. The lake does look completly stunning though.

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