Ditch the ads, upload images and much more - upgrade today from 5.95/month!
Read • Contests • Groups • Learn • Forums • Store • Help
 

Honeysuckle Breeze

Open spaces and freedom from pain
running around this wide open plain
lavender hillsides and golden trees
crystal clear waters and honeysuckle breeze
golden sunshine, not a cloud could be seen
what a wonderful tranquil and pleasing scene

multicoloured birds flying in the air
landing on only the wing of a prayer
swooping away all my heartache and tears
leaving me contented and erasing my fears
this is the place I would love to be
a place where you could walk so free.



Author notes


Written June 25th, 2004

A contest entry

What did you think

    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
    : , Your review:

    Comment Suggestion: What is your your first impression?
    • Line numbers  • Invite them to read
    : no Cost: 0 free left 0 points, You have (?)

Comments

1 - 16 of 16

  • xLovinmylifex
    May 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply
    thanx this is one of my first ever poem i wrote and my mum said they were really good, do u no my mum she is sanity on here she is really nice and a really good poet writer i have a poem that i have writen for her and i made her cry while she was readin it thanx 4 the good luck xx eatmyshorts xx p.s thanx 4 commentin on my poem thanx agian xx

  • haylow
    May 24, 2006
    Edit | Reply

    brill

    I loved this poem! Great scenery and imgagery! I was just listening to music and when I read the part 'swooping away all my heartache and tears' It sounded just like a swoop! He he! Ecellent write! Good luck in my contest! Haylow x
    Edited on May 24, 10:57 because 'missed of a letter!'.

  • Harlequin
    February 19, 2005
    Edit | Reply

    very good

    A very good poem gentle, flowing, well written keep on writing


  • Samplette gold member
    November 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I like this poem very much. Thank you so much for entering my contest and trying to lift my spirits.
    Sam

  • xLovinmylifex
    November 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Thank you, your comments is appreciated

    Edited on Apr 01, 4:30 p.m. because ''.


  • November 9, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This is pretty. A grand imagination you have shared.

  • mathme
    July 6, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Well, I don't see what this has to do with an end, but I'll just assume that this is where you go at your death/end of time. From that standpoint, this is a very good piece. I truly do like it very much. Thanks for entering my contest.

  • xLovinmylifex
    July 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    is that better?


  • birksy silver member
    July 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Enjoyed this. Definitely gave the impression of airiness(!) and breeziness(!!). The 'wing of a prayer' line seemed to put me off a bit, but apart from that it was very gentle. Thanks, birksy

  • kushal
    July 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this was a very nice poem, but there is a little suggestion...the last two lines are defacing the greatness of the poem..it was a fantastic nature's descriptions...the readers could find themselves soothed just thinking...but from where did you call someone to stay with you in the last line? that's not fair buddy...

    Keep writing...and don't take my criticism too much...you may have your own description as well regarding the ending of the poem, don't you? sure you do................

  • LBIgirl1027
    June 30, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    Great poem..You used strong words and it gave me a vivid picture in my mind..You show great imagery in your poem, too! Very, very beautifully penned..I loved it


  • Touchof1der silver member
    June 27, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    This was very nice. It made me think of all of my own favorite places to go and be. I like escaping from the city whenever I get the chance and boy am I ready right now. I like the poem. It was good.


  • firechilde
    June 27, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    beautiful

    i love this poem...it made me cry....thank you for writing such a beautiful poem.Thank you for sharing your hopeful message.Serenity is such a hard thing to find nowadays.....to savor those little moments are very important.Its beautiful

  • RainbowQueen
    June 27, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    The title of this one stuck out, so I had to read it. And I really enjoyed it. Thank you


  • Frozen in Time
    June 27, 2004
    Edit | Reply

    lovely

    "Leaving me contented and erasing my fears." I really love this line. It's absolutely beautiful. I can picture this place and it's fantastic! So serene and peaceful! This is a wonderful peice of work. You are truly talented. You mentioned lavender in this poem and I really really love lavender, don't ask me why but I just do. This poem is really beautiful it gives you a peaceful feeling inside. Thank you so much for letting me read this. Keep up the really good writing, and good luck in the contest.

    Kayla

  • RebelRikki
    June 26, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I loved this poem, but I really thought the ending threw it off. It seemed like a nature poem until the last two lines abruptly turned it into a love poem. I think I'd like it better if you went with only one subject, or evened out your use of two subjects. My favorite lines were "lavender hillsides and golden trees/crystal clear waters and honeysuckle breeze". Absolutly beautiful.

1 - 16 of 16