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No title yet (haiku)

dying evening
dons her faded purple gown
night dances begin

Author notes


Written June 24th, 2004

In a list

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Comments

1 - 12 of 12

  • Nature Song silver member
    February 1, 2006
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    Nice imagery, wording. I find it hard to write haikus..but someday I might. Thanks for a great read! ~Sie love the second line...dons her faded purple gown, as if she's been to many...lovely imagery there


  • Aerestheth
    September 5, 2004
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    I've always enjoyed haikus, and this one is no exception. I like the imagery that you create. Painting such a perfect picture in my mind. Nicely written.

    Jessica


  • August 15, 2004
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    Something untitled, such an easy way for curiosity to find it's way on this page to read it. I loved the imagery, the idea of evening being a dancer, it's so romantisiced and beautiful. My hat's of to you, excellently written.

    Lynn xXx


  • stop drop and roll
    July 12, 2004
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    i like that this poem doesnt have a title. Not everything in life need to be labeled.*smile* Also, this poem shows me that your style has become more refined. i mean this is the sense that you have more of your own voice now with your writing. I find it interesting the subject matter you choose to write baout. You are a very in depth complex person. You are beautiful and fun! Drink a margarita baby! ~Daina


  • strawberrynadir
    July 11, 2004
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    hmmmm short but sweet... how about velvet for a title? purple skies [ pretty pretty pretty]
    always remind me of velvet and mmm
    i for some reason think it would fit..


  • whispernthedark Greeters member
    July 7, 2004
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    Don't laugh, but I have a cinderella image stuck in my mind with this one. I truly love it.

    ~whisper


  • July 6, 2004
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    I liked this piece..I don't know what else to say but this was really really good...


  • Touchof1der silver member
    June 28, 2004
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    I love haikus because of the imagery they create. They draw all the senses in and make you feelthe words written. This is very beautiful. Thank you for the privilege and pleasure of reading this. Absolutely awesome!

  • leafy
    June 27, 2004
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    Very atmospheric. I dont think personification is strictly haiku but, who cares? It's the feeling that matters and this one is certainly evocative.
    'Nightfall' occurs to me as a possible title.
    Edited on Jun 27, 8:51 because ''.

  • Pari Ali
    June 26, 2004
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    I love this one.... it is very joyful in a way.... though evening is dying, yet she is not giving up she goes ahead and dons her gown ok so it is faded so what....I like the way it ends especially.
    Life is like that death birth joy sorrow all go hand in hand, side by side sometimes over lapping sometimes just running parellel. lovely haiku


  • blondeoverblue
    June 25, 2004
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    This is beautiful Josh, but have you considered changing the final line to...

    'night's dance begins'

    for the final line. It's just a thought from a haiku novice who doesn't know much But enjoys reading nevertheless!

    Kat xxxx


  • SusanL
    June 24, 2004
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    Oh Joshua -
    I really like this image. It is absolutely woderful. It is hard top write an original thought on ht esunrise or sunset, but this is. I like it very much.
    Susan

1 - 12 of 12