She told me that killing myself was bad.
I even believed her for a moment there
But you fell for her trap without realizing
That with every bit of her DRINK YOU SIP
You’re killing a part of yourself,
Swallowing it with those emotions of mine
That you feed off of like air...
SUCKING ME DRY and robbing me of
My right to pity you the way you pity me.
We may have been too stupid to know any better
But we called each other “friend” once,
Back when the KOOL AID wasn’t spiked.
Now times have changed and I’m still searching
For the courage to see to it
That I quickly DROWN MYSELF
In my own failures,
Instead of doing it torturously slow
The way you do...
In someone else’s.
Author notes
}}}}} Disclaimer: I'M NOT SERIOUSLY SUICIDAL {{{{{
The "you" of this poem could be any person taken aside or singled out, but the "she" of this poem is the voice of political correctness or societal peer pressure... I don't know why but I always personify it as coming from a woman. °shrug°
Written June 24th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- " I cut and bleed for you " For Serious Poets by Nicole Hanna.
500 points, ended December 22, 2004, 25 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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darkness in my heart baby!
My friend, this is excellent work. Many Dark poets could take some ink from your pen. Very emotional. A like the way you make the poem confusing as to show what it really fells like to endure a false relationship. keep it up man! -
Wow. Nice job. Very deep. That was really....deep. It was different. You really have a way with words. Anyway, nice job on this. I loved it.
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woah, i really liked that.it's different from everything I've read so far.keep it up!
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Works for me.
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Uh...I'm just gonna go with my early comment...yeah...
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"which I very much appreciate"
—And I appreciate your saying so!
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I'll ammend my comment by saying I specifically liked the lines "But we called each other “friend” once,
Back when the KOOL AID wasn’t spiked", which struck me as the strongest in the entire poem for the images and emotions it evoked while reading it. Over all, this was NOT a drama-mongering piece, which I very much appreciate. lol.
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I like this, very awesome! This certainly had very good imagery and I love the pic. Keep it up...From SlightlyTwisted.
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Oh, that definitely had bite to it. And that image at the front was very, uh, disturbing...lol. Actually, that's what I'd describe this piece as...uniquely disturbing, lol. So of course I loved it! lol I also loved that 'spiked kool aid' remark...tres cool, lol. So yeah, great write.
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It reminds me of a phrase from an Alanis song that said "how could you deny me the cross I bear that you gave to me". I always hate it when someone wont get off their soapbox long enough to allow you to be pissed at them. So annoying. Great writing, it evoked a lot of emotion in me.
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This was a great write, i really really enjoyed this so I am glad taht this is a fictional story and not non fictional. This was truly a terrific write and you should be proud of yourself.
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