No manners for the whistling wind
Demanding my attention
Arrogantly blows stronger the harder I ignore
And sadist rain stings my face
Laughs at my discomfort
Whips harder each time I twitch and wince
Bruised and soaking
In need of shelter
The storm screams on
Grows stronger, heavier
No sign of relenting
I wait…
And through the noise of the howling wind’s cry
Through the spitting rain’s slap
Through the chill of the wet
I hear chiming – erratic, sporadically true
A melody charmed
Gets louder with each healthy lash of the storm
Battles on in disquiet
A wry smile that warms
Author notes
This sprang to mind when I heard windchimes blowing in the storm raging outside a little while ago. I've incorporated some personal references that I don't expect anyone to spot. It's just how the sound captured my attention and the feeling it gave me.
I like the mish-mash style it's written in too, I haven't done this for a while, so it's probably very rough. But what the hell...
Written June 23rd, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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I really enjoyed reading this. I must say that this style is the one I prefer in your writing, for it's as almost as erratic as the storm you describe in this poem
I get this a lot when I feel troubled. I get into this really deep mood and everything I see somehow makes me think of my own troubles, until I formulate whole metaphors in my mind concerning my troubles and the thing in question! Gaah sad people lol. Anyway, thanks for posting, I truly enjoyed this
xxx
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Wow, it's been a long time since I've commented =X
Anyway, I love the way the words themselves lend a troubled, harsh atmosphere at the beginning and with the last stanza bring a sort of quiet, peaceful place. The eye of the storm almost (;
The depth you use in describing such ordinary occurences makes me believe that there is a lot more behind what you chose to present.
Good write (=
xXx -
You're right. When I started writing this, it was originally just about a windchime outside my window, but the more I thought about it, I started to make comparisons with the weather and that sound of that windchime to certain events and people in my life.
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wow this poem is very good, but i makes me feel like there is more then just a winchime bothering you.
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Excellent
The windchime could also signify the entrance to the subconscious. A simple poem that gives way to multi layered answers and questions. Excellent.
Georges -
Very good. I like how the mood changes at the end when you hear the chime. Very descriptive. I could experience the wind and the rain with you as I read.
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excellent
really wonderful write and i do like the oriental windchimes something about them in the wind that makes sounds that hold your attenion and your write also did that its wonderful write !
find a contest for it ! -
This really is a good poem. I think we all get ticked off at the weather, and chimes add the right lyric contrast. Two quick comments: 1) don't use as many blank lines for web posts. It looked to me like the poem was over at "wait..." based on my browser window. 2) Toss this aside if you like, but I'd change the title. For me, I went right into the first stanza thinking "wind chimes", and the image I had was of the wind blowing the chimes and annoying you. The title doesn't really add anything except for the inattentive. Be inventive.
I agree with SS that it's a great ending. Not so much mysterious as comforting: cocoa during a snow storm.
Great poem, thanks for sharing it,
Brian -
I love wind chims! My mother seems to think they're tacky or something but i just love the sound they make.Newayz really good poem. Like that your all sad in the storm and its like the chimes give some kind of hope.
Jess
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Great
I very much enjoyed your poem. There were some very good lines in here. I liked the ending the best:
"And through the noise of the howling wind’s cry
Through the spitting rain’s slap
Through the chill of the wet
I hear chiming – erratic, sporadically true
A melody charmed
Gets louder with each healthy lash of the storm
Battles on in disquiet
A wry smile that warms"
There are great descriptions, like the "chill of the wet". The ending is quite the enigma. Those types of endings are very mysterious.
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