rushing white water
life cascading gracefully
onto jagged rocks
Author notes
Here is my attempt. I hope I followed all the rules. So far from what I’ve seen you’ve been tough but fair; so I’ll accept your judgment.
I hope this counts as a river...
If anyone has any helpful criticism please feel free to leave it, I’m always trying to improve my writing skills. Thank you. Patti
Written June 22nd, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- haiku for 500 points!!! You get ONE chance to win! by Mari Goes.
500 points, ended June 23, 2004, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 22 of 22
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v good
good haiku in the traditional mould using lots of imagery from nature the juxtoposition of gracefully and jagged is a stark contrast -
Nice ku
I did a waterfall haiku also
Huggles
Susan~~~
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Very nicely done! I enjoyed this one and the imagery in it, thanks!
Good luck in the contest!
Mari
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This is beautiful. Its very peaceful. the sound of water makes me sleepy. thanx for writing this.
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Oh this is so very pretty, and I love this backround. Anything with horses or unicorns. Anyways, I agree with the previous comment. Cascading is the perfect word. Beautiful!
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Awesome
Cascading.. what a damn good word. It's good.. really quite good.. if you could write an entire poem that was as beautiful as those three lines i'd be reading it for sure..your haiku is vivid, captivating and timeless... keep writing away, i really really liked that. -
I think this has a double meaning when it says "life cascading gracefully
onto jagged rocks" I take it to mean life can be decietful making it seem wonderful and then dashing you upon the rocks with a difficult situation.Or it could mean life balances in pleasure and pain. Your words leave a clear picture.
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Wow. This is beautiful. I love it. It's one of the best haikus I've read on here and definitely the best I've read for that particular contest. You're words paint an incredibly vivid picture. I can see it so clearly. Anyway, thanks for sharing. Keep it up. Good luck in the contest. YOu defintiely deserve to win first place.
~Miranda
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I can see the rush just before a waterfall. It is beautifully written. Good luck in the contest.
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Beautiful write, vivid imagery, and deep meaning when you combine the lines. Awesome job, good luck in the contest. If this is any indication of your work, you have great talent.
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This is great, one piece of Haiku that I can actually understand. lol I really don't read it much, but this is great, I love it!
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oooooooooooo. Now this is beautiful...amd serene, and as smooth and jagged as the waterfall you are speaking of. Nice. Very nice.
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this is really sweet, awsome job, i like these kinds of poems a lot, that is when they are done well like this
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Very well done, in combining all the traditional elements in haiku. Couldn't have done better myself, though I write haiku, I try to break away from tradition sometimes, even though I'm drawn to tradition where poetic verse is concerned. Hope I'm making sense. You did well here, and I applaud your effort!--Kel
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I am fascinated with Haikus, and this is a great one! Good write, I love it.
~MOONZ -
This is a nice job, and I hope that you end up doing very nicely in this contest... nice haiku... keep writing
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Excellent Write
Wow, Haikus must be the popular type of poetry today, there have been many kus I have read before this,
but I must say I really admire this one. I had a friend that spent her last vacation at a waterfall place shortly before dying in a car accident, 
She always called herself a water baby good times, good times. Great Piece, Thanks for sharing! Hope to read more of your poems in the near future ---Sara
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perfect
I think you did a great job. Your choice of words is perfect and the imagery along with your background is superb.
I love the word cascading...
Chrissy
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Great
Beautiful, this is the perfect picture for a haiku, fabulous descriptive wording and great imagination, good job, keep up the good work!! -
this is a beautiful hyku i loved it keep up the great work
good choice of back ground as well he he
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cute, short, and pretty
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There is nothing to comment negatively here, as a haiku writer you have a season in the first line, a subject of mankind in the second and bringing them together in the third line...a great haiku and very poignant when you think of the two thoughts brought together in the third line Good luck in the contest Gregg
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