seeking the words
to explain my absence
I write your name
on the note-pad
over and over
Andrew Hide
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Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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It's hard sometimes to have to explain just why we do what we do.
This was really nicely done Andrew!
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Excellent! This is like a perfect cherry in season
Well done!
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wonderful
Great use of tanka from. Truly so well done.
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this one is lovely ... its in the here and now yet has the time element woven into it very craftily ... and the emotion is there as a universal ... lovely >>> Gina
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i love the emotion you place in these. It seems so effortless, as though it should be an obvious message to any one. This is why I am in your class. I can string the lines, but not the depth.
Susan -
Exceptional!
Another great one!
I like the inversion of the two concluding lines to begin it...the cycle effect is very affective.
~ G
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wonderful
This was wonderfully written. You have created a scene and left the reader to fill in so many blanks. Indeed what would we say in this situation?
A wonderful poem.
John -
excellent
Nicely done my friend. Thoughtful and with emotion. -
The art of showing emotions through few words, that is what you do with your tankas. Very nice Andrew!
Mari
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Though you're about 8 syllables short, this is still a very nice piece. I'm always amazed by how just a few words can sound so profound in the tanka form. Good work!
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I feel your longing for this person and thought you did an excellent job at portraying your pain. Nice work with such feeling.
Prysmatyk -
very nice
The little poem with large canvas of painted with deep sorrow of the loss of the beloved ,but still remaining in the heart that loved! It enhanced my love towards'Tanka' thank you dear Andrew for sharing it. -
this is so sad! i loved it though, well written. i agree with what was said, "i could feel the pain dripping fromy our words" AngelSeeker seems to express that well. nice write.
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This was so sad, mourning over a lost love. Who hasn't withdrawn for a while to lick their wounds? This captures that emotion and sets a somber mood. Well written.
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This was so beautiful and sad. I could feel the pain dripping from your words. Great work. Patti
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