They call it the oldest game in the world.
There is no knocking it!
It is a hard fact that it is widespread.
Life begins and ends in it.
For balance we need to feel
our way into its depths.
You will find it on the hard shoulder
or even in the doggie positions of cities.
You can come to your own conclusions
after sniffing around it
and filling your throat deep
with the topic on the end
of everyone's tongue.
The missionary position would be
to go head to head
to grind out this infestation.
Many are up for it from all positions
and while it happens in multiple ways,
on the whole it is frowned upon
by society at large as being full of tricks.
You'd certainly be a real tit, I feel,
not to take it to your bosom,
undress it's better qualities
and allow it to unfold.
Give it a clap for laying around so long.
Husbands handle the affair
on the side of distancing themselves
from limp harrassment.
Women keep their eye on the ball
while it really gets a gay's back up.
Priests are a bit over the top
in groping their way to what they
consider juvenile thinking
and bishops consult waitresses on it
often finding sixty-nine
ways of looking at it.
The long and the short of it
is that it has it's ups and downs.
No hole in the corner subject this!
Even if our views are a bit
on the back side of normal
we go along for the ride.
If we could just get our leg over
these problems, we'd end up
sitting right on top of it.
Author notes
Not my usual subject matter and very tongue in cheek!
Written June 21st, 2004
A contest entry
- *Know Your Subject Matter*(Contest) by Kjelson.
500 points, ended June 22, 2004, 8 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 36 of 36
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Happy to see you came out on top with your trophy. There are two things on man's mind. One is sex the other is...err..hmm.. darn I can't remember what the other thing is. I loved the subtleness and delicacy of this piece. It reads almost like a secret code book. Saying one thing openly and meaning, covertly, something entirely different to the everyone that have the same code book.
Sincerely,
Leo Long
ps. Thanks for reading and commenting on my work. -
Holy gucamole.....lol! What a lovely job you did with this write and all the puns you placed carefully around in the lines. Loved it! It was sheer pleasure to read as you danced, doddled and delved deep into this subject. I have to confess I have been eluded more than once by the very subject you speak of but have always persued it relentlessly. Awesome tail and I always enjoy hearing about it.......lol. Take care and thanx for sharing with us, um the write......lol.
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Hi
I really enjoyed reading this poem, made me smile, then laugh. Very well written and thought out.
I see from the other comments you won gold? with this poem, I agree well deserved.
Take care
Elaine
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Amazing. I have never read a poem that can just be spilled forth in a fast paced rhythym, with no particular format, and just flow so well. It was truly wonderful. Usually I see a long poem and have to focus just to pay attention to it, but this one kept my attention the entire time. There is really nothing I could say is wrong, it's absolutely perfected.
~NSA -
loved the innuendo and all the double entendres. I even loved the positioning of it.
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congradulations! you certainly deserve it, this poem is awesome.
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I'm so glad I have you on my favourites list. You have a great gift to share with the world. I always look forward to reading your poems. Another exquisite write. Thank you
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Yes, very well done. It's an excellently tongue-in-cheek poem, filled with allusions and very funny!
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look at her shine!
Congrats Ginger...I knew this was a prize winner! You are such a pro! I love your writes - I'm was a bit taken aback on how surprised you were in the im ...you have talent girl - big time!
Well deserved!!! Bravo! -
I have to admit from the beginning that I love extended metaphors with unnamed referents. Because when you can exploit the language to make it obvious, you know that you have a subject that has many words that either stem from it or are related to it. Obviously a contemporary issue (when has it not been?) and you take it on with the pros and cons. For some reason, the pros and cons turned into prophylactics and contraceptives in my mind, but after reading this a couple of times, there is no pervese limit to which my mind could wander that it hasn't already. Very well written throughout, and like I said, you let the language do all of the work for you...(well, technically, you employ the language...in either case, I don't think this makes a case for linguistic socialism).
"Give it a clap for laying around so long" ~laughter~
Very! Very! Very! Well done. -
LMAO -- great play on words!! Way to go!
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this poem is so clever! it's like you found a sexy way of looking at everything. i especially liked how you said it being frowned upon by being full of tricks.
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Definitely a different way of looking at it, but that's where all the fun lies! It's twisted, but yet it seems so dang accurate! If it doesn't win, it should come runner up - but, hey, that's my opinion.
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well,good morning and lookee here what you have come up with ...a delightful little romp trough the venues of my favorite past time...lol...very good and the contest title seems quite clear as does your poem ...are you sure you can handle this much knowledge...lol...good luck in te contest ...freda
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Yes, this was interesting in a twisted way. Very cool way to write on a subject of this matter. Different, but that's always appreciated
-Abby Eyeball- -
pure brilliance
I know i have commented already but had to come back and give it another read...you are one friggin clever lady! This is so damn good the way you wove those erotic sayings in this piece so flawlessly. This is a winner in my eyes..not very many get a second read from me. If i could applaud it again i would
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What a special perspective on a common subject. I loved it. Very well put together.
Thanks for sharing.
Prysmatyk -
hahahahaha (ahem, now that I got that out of way...) that was excellently perverse in a semi-tasteful sorta way... applause!
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Clever, Witty, and Insightful
You have written an extremely clever piece that explores the topic from multiple view points (i was going to say from "multiple positions" but that would have been redundant.) There are so many great puns and double entendres including one of my favorites "You'd be a tit not to take this to your bosom." This something one would expect from a devotee of Wilde. -
This was so cute...... in a twisted sort of way, like sexual twister. LOL. Anyway, it really made me smile. I like the placement of all the positions. Very clever. Thanks for sharing. Keep it up . Good luck in the contest.
~Miranda
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Haha..this was a classic. Nicely written
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What a fantastic job Ginger! Yep, that's one of the best...sitting right on top - or so i've heard
An absolutely brilliant piece - you clever girl you!
Enjoyed this! -
my my ... lol. You did a job well done with this ... I really enjoyed it. Hope to see more from you in the future. Good luck in the contest
~Rachel~ -
Nicely Done!!!!
Very erotic without being overdone.Wonderful flow and style.Nice and fun to read.I enjoyed this one.I'm sure you'll do well in the contest.Best wishes,Starla -
WOW...it's really insightful. Great Idea! The flow and messages made it really fun to read. Great Write!
~MOONZ -
Great Job
Well, very cool poem. I love the not so hidden meanings through out it. And I love the lines regarding preists and bishops. lol Great Job -Brett -
lol, excellent! this is a fast-paced, slapped right in your face read. Very straight-forward and well done!
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Haha!!!
Anyway.
One little comment: "our way into it's depths." it's should be its.
Other than that, superb.
Best wishes in all that you do!
Your Cerulean Dreamer,
Michele
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Very clever
Holy cow! Entendres coming and going! This was fun to read, and I would not have thought it of you, but I'm glad you thought of it!
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great job!!! and i bet Slingshot may be doing some Spank his monkey business!!! Jacki
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brilliant and clever
this is grrreat!!!!! i loved it......the sexual positions placed accordingly.....lol........you did well here.......good going....and good luck in the contest........ ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Kittyom~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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Excellent!
Magnificent! You did a great job with the metaphors - holding the theme all the way through! -
I am a reclusive monk. I have no idea what you speak of here. Blinks. Anyway, I have to go and do some monkey buisness
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lol my my my fair lassie...a bit of a racy one for you. it is very well done
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hehe, this was great. Tongue-in-cheek, indeed... if someone innocent were to read this, they'd never know the difference.
Nice job.
Elizabeth -
Leaves me wonder just which cheek thine tongue is in. Erm, anyways, this was really amusing... hell, bordering on the hilarious but it wants to sound so polite and dignified. I think you do know your subject well, almost too well. Good luck in the contest.
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