Words withheld
coalesce and form
around solid, tangible lumps
of repressed emotion.
Time and contemplation,
endlessly pondered, regrets solidify
and like coal, begin to smoulder.
Integrity, forged with will
turn self-destruction to passion
inspiring life in a palace of despair
granted strength to prevail,
and bathed in white light
I see the truth,
and enlightened begin in earnest
to change dusty, charcoal dreams
into brilliant shining diamonds.
Author notes
Written June 21st, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Anything and Everything..365 points by AVoiceWithin.
365 points, ended July 4, 2004, 33 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 25 of 25
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pretty well wrapped around a pretty well crafted metaphor. hurray
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Excellent
Optimism, hope, happiness! -
I like this, the rhythm in it, the flow...and charcoal dreams...ooh. Very interesting, good job.
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Marvilous
Very mind-comsuming, I like it, charcoal lots of carbon, diamonds pure carbon,and on the philosophical level taking a dream, an idea, and makeing it a reality. light forged in darkness, order to chaos. Inspiring. i can't spell it's late
Edited on Aug 16, 11:33 p.m. because ''. -
Perfect and unique. Masterpiece, indeed! Keep writing.
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hope springs eternal
where one looks for the light
even in the darkest of places...
that's what this reminds me of!
Keep penning on one stroke at a time!
Bill -
It's about what you surmised as well as the manner in which I write. I might take an inspired thought and let it sit inside for a while, contemplating and letting it congeal into something solid. Then, when I am ready I let it flow, and thus a poem is born.
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This has great symbolism and imigery, ima take a wild guess and say the first part is about repressed emotions, keeping it bottled inside? and then changing, deciding to better your life because you see a light? is that right?
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Damn.. I was starting to lose hope in the poeticness of AP, and you totally renewed my love in it.. me and you are two very different writers.. you write with such imagery, and complexity, yet so simple.. you really know how to write about one thing.. and it really makes me skills look inferior compared.. but.. I dunno.. keep this up man.
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wonderful poem. i really liked the imagery very vivid. the charcoal dreams turning into diamonds was my favorite. keep writing.
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This was really good dude. The imagery just held me through this one, and I couldn't let go.
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This was great..I had to get out my online dictionary a couple times but erm..yeah. lol
great piece of work. thanks for entering and good luck
~Jenn~ -
Good idea to it. Reminds me of some of my work. Except you have form. lol God bless you and take care. keep writing like that because thats a very enthralling and inspiring style or so i think.
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man nuff good use of vocabulary you play with the words then twist them into really descriptive lines. good poem love the coal and smoulder bit best. nice nice
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Wow, vivid..such imagery! Well done. The backround is put well...a rare thing. I can't wait to read more of your captivating work.
~Liadan -
Well Written
very vivid and extraordinary.very well written.you used precise and exact words needing to fill every void.colorful and full of wonder.wish to see more like this out of people.very well done.excellent job.keep this up.hope to hear more from you soon.
awesome write.
-aliceNwondrland -
Very good. I think you just described how I write some of my poems. I'm impressed.
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excells beyond words
this piece is really wonderously fantasmigaric!! i loved it!! it's like giving hope!! that's why i like it!! it says to me,you may be tarnished,but you can one day shine!! keep up the great work,i always enjoy your poetry!! your poems are like a fine wine,with each passing day,they become more and more delicious!!! you are a night blooming flower,hugs poetic janis/janny/dani whi
and 
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Hey! I really like this piece I think you did a great job with imagry, I admit I had to read it a couple times to soak in all of which you wanted the reader to feel but I think after that I recieved the full effect of this poem, I think it has a really good message. Enlightenment can change things completly, but sometimes for the worst. in which the quote "Ignorence is bliss" would come in. Anyways I think you are a really great poet. And the flow of your words never fail to leave me amazed!
Much Loves
KLA
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You have mastered the art of capturing so much depth and detail in just a few lines. This is a skillfully composed poem and the message is saturated with passion and imagination. Excellent wording, flow - etc. You have earned my applause and that is something I don’t give freely, unless it is truly deserving, and this is.
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BRAVO!!!
I liked it its just a fantastic poem to read it makes you think....Keep up the great work.
@>;--Jordyn -
Very short...Very pure and simple...and very eloquent. I like this. It speaks volumes with just the minimal amount of wording. There's no overkill here. Thank you for the privilege of reading this. Great job!
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Very Good
Enlightment does indeed turn charcoal to diamonds, this is a nice and simple poem with a very deep message. I liked it a lot.
Georges -
well...im enjoyin my night...hope spiritual and personal...it really is hopeful..as dark as you have gone...its nice to see the light...ecspecially with your gift of expressing it..
charcoal into diamonds...turnin self destruction into passion...earlier you made me laugh,,,now, i'll sleep with
a smile...poets fuckin rule...and not just when dark and depressing...though they rule then to. -
that's beautiful hun... very very nice.
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