Scold me when I'm deaf.
Moon me when I'm blind.
Hurt me when I'm paralyzed.
I promise, I don't mind.
Just don't squeeze me when I'm soft
Or red me when I'm blue.
Be considerate of your timing
And I'm sure we'll see things through.
Author notes
In other words this poem is trying to say, "Don't do things to me that'll affect me in a way I can't handle". I can only take so much at certain points in time. If you catch me on "one of my days"..... you'll know.
Written June 20th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Short and Sweet by Jaymielle.
500 points, ended January 21, 2005, 47 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 6 of 6
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Before I leave a comment is today one of those days you want your bread buttered? I can totally relate to having days that things just can't be managed.
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this seems kind of sa but funny at the same time, i think thats what's so good at it. i think ur very talented
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good
Very nicely done. One of the better ones I have read in this contest.
Good luck.
John -
I know exactly what you mean in this one! The repetitive set-up works really well, and you fit this one into the rhyme and meter quite smoothly. Your second stanza didn't entirely live up to the first one though. The red/blue line seems forced, unless there's a deeper meaning there that I missed. Overall, though, good job!
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this one was interesting... I love the way you worded it, the subject matter makes it seem like its a really sincere, heartfelt thing and if you can pour your heart out like that, then you are one of the true poets... be proud... great
-Joseph -
Brilliant as always
AAAAAAAhhhhhhhhh..........i think this is a little sad, but if you look at it in an alltogether different view, it could be verrrrrrry comforting..........
sorry i wasn't here for ya' last night, but i was spending some "early" father's day time with my husband because he took my son fishing all day today and we haven't had any time together today at all.....anyway..........hope i greet you tonight with happiness.......... ...........write something else if you get the urge so i can read it..........i just luuuuuuuuuuvvvvvvvv your stuff as you already know.........if i don't talk to you tonight.....sleep well........~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~Mum~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ 
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