She never knew how to handle herself,
Or how situations should be handled.
Six years young,
Sprawled across the courtyard,
Beaten with rocks for being too weak.
Not standing her gravel,
Or claiming her freedom and individuality.
They all stared at the girl who didn't know who she was.
There she was,
You almost missed her,
The precious one hidden in the cobweb corner.
While dim T.V. reflection grabbed the drunkards' sunken shadows,
So she could quietly study their every move,
As the smoke barreled into her eyes.
Eight years young and kicked with violence and names.
Just that weird kid and no one really knew who she was.
She was there,
You told her what to do,
And she silently beckoned to your every whim.
You can't really remember someone who didn't have anything to say,
But she had alot to say.
You never took the time to watch the mysteries unfold behind those piercing eyes.
Twelve years young,
And in a hurry to be categorized.
You were there,
You helped her pick up that first joint,
Showed her who you thought she should be.
Never once did you think you could have been wrong.
Taught her how to rebel against all that's right in the world,
Which isn't much.
Was she happy?
Living in constant agony, in the hot squaller of her two bedroom trailer,
Wishing she could find herself,
Without any idea of what she was looking for.
You swept her back into the corner with the dust mites.
When she only wanted you to hold your arms out to her,
Someone who has never felt a warm embrace,
Or the comfort of resting her tears on an open shoulder.
Sixteen years young,
She cried and tried to read the blurry empty bottle of pain killers in her hand.
She wondered if it was her or the bottle trembling so hard.
Her nerves were shot,
She was too far gone in her own abyss.
For ten minutes she layed on her box spring,
And closed her eyes for the last time,
Searching intensely for who she was.
But by then it was too late to find her.
Author notes
Written June 20th, 2004
A contest entry
- Show me your bad side.... by bluefirec306.
450 points, ended September 28, 2004, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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this poem is really touching i really liked it
"And closed her eyes for the last time,
Searching intensely for who she was.
But by then it was too late to find her."
i liked that bit much cause it makes you think how precious life is and how easily it can pulled away from you thanx for sharing this bye for now
love JaDe -
I like this, it's a good artistic representation of suicide and you've presented the main character beautifully. However, I would change the last line to 'By then it was too late to find her.' because it sounds more poetic. In the first stanza, change 'gravel' to 'ground', it makes more sense and the reader has more empathy for the character because of the familiarity of that phrase. A few spelling errors: 'barreled' is wrong but I can't spell it either
'alot' to 'a lot' 'squaller' to 'squalour'. I also thought that the passing of years could have been less repetetive or at least more subtle. Overall, good write but needs some touching up. Barbie. Xx
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bittersweet is love.
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Wow this is strinkingly beautiful and so poetic i can almost feelall of the emotion keep writing!!!
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