Great grey mother's love
guides her clan from dry bushveld
to river valley
deep infrasound reaches out
calling all her kind in range
Tender-touched, they're led
taught the ways of life and death
tuned to Earth and sky
mapped in memory to keep
her family safe and well
Author notes
In the style of a linked Tanka.
Elephants: A wonderful example of love and social harmony
Written June 20th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 38 of 38
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100th HOODWINK !
This is a wonderful nature write and good use of the tanka form. The picture/poem are mutually complimentary. Well Done!
You have been chosen as a victim of our 100th Hoodwinking Celebration for The Poetic Bandits group. We want to let you know we appreciate AllPoetry and all you have done to make it the wonderful Poetic Community that it is. Thank you!
Dennis
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Very enjoyable write!
Aha! This is very nice, Gennelle. I like the way the two tankas are combined and flow seamlessly into one thought. The idea/image put forth in each line is vivid and very impressive. Goodluck in the contest!
-Charishma -
Had to read this again after reading astralshepard's comment. What a GREAT BEAUTIFUL perspective!
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Thank you for your great comment and applause, chocolate!
~ G
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great poem. i love elephants and ive always connected them with family. this just shows it. great job and good luck thanks for entering!
chocolate
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Wow! Thank you Richard! I think your comment is about the best I got on this. The funny thing is that this picture is on the Peace Chain site, only a little smaller (must have been slow loading; there's an animated dolphin leaping on the other one). It would seem that Synchronicity played a role here to highlight the broader dimensions of this poem. Your first impression was just as I intended!
~ Gennelle
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Wonderful
um, ok…i had to look up what a tanka was…still not sure. heck i don’t even know what a haiku is…i mean i know what a haiku is but not to be able to write one that would hurt the eyes and damage the senses. Why i am here: I went to our peace-link page and love the poems you chose for it. This poem is posted there. Amazing. I read the poem there and then came here to comment and was shocked to find a picture of elephants. I don’t have anything against elephants, some of them still remember me and my peanut visits as a child. The poem without a picture, and the first impact of reading it gave me a whole different perspective. I saw this as the Great Mother…(Gaia, Gatumdu, or Terra) grey …meaning aged, guiding us, the race of “human beings” through inner felt soundings and vibrations of the soil and rock vibrating deep within the soul calling to us. Your phrase “Mapped in memory” …wow…for me took it over the top. So very Jungian as we carry so many archetypes that are beyond our normal senses. But anyway, didn’t see any elephants in the other poem, saw something else, just as large, powerful and gentle. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard
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wow how well you have given us a lesson about nature. extremely well written and easy to remember. How often we overlook all the wonders that hold nature in balance.
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beautiful! i am always looking to animals to learn from. and they never fail to teach me. in my humble study of elephants i have learned that they bond deeply with one another, even to stay by a fallen or trapped sister. i have always been in awe of the fact that the females basically 'run' things and keep it all together. anyway i am rambling but i very much appreciate and love the truth in this piece along with the beautiful wording and form (the picture is quite wonderful too.)
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good
i like elephants, i think they're cute. this was short, but as long as it needed to be, good write.
~Kate -
Thank you for your wonderful comment, Moses! Greatly appreciated.
~ G
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Simple but eloquent, short but profound - the elements I most admire about poetry. I really liked this - a fascinating subject handled with dignity and awe. Thanks so much for entering this.
Best wishes,
Moses -
Wow, thank you Andrew! Nothing better than a positive review from a tanka/haiku writer and enthusiast.
~ Gennelle
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this is art.
As only a mother can, Nicely done with with a good rhythm.
these two do work well and flow into each other smoothly.
I do believe this could be sung as well as spoken.
Andrew -
Peter ~ You amaze me with how you can write poetry 'at the drop of a hat' like this. Do you always think in verse?
~ G
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Did I forget to call you
Im sorry, but you see
I started to be broken
when trying to be free
I needed words to guide me
but could not loose my heart
the naked desperation
begins when freedom start
I chose but stopped the choosing
I even failded in that
was pulled to much amusement
up from a liars hat
And I became the liar
to be condemmed by heart
all moral ways dissolving
the moment freedom starts
A hailstorm on my pillow
and blizzards through my soul
I chose, but then was chosen
to shoot beside the goal
And now a dove has landed
and everything is white
I pull myself together
and live my life in spite -
Oh yes Tom. I agree with you. I understand what you mean. It's the mongrel hybrid version that doesn't work. Yeah, you can't mix a compromise with a compomise... Well said.
Love,
Gennelle
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Oranges ripening in crates
Tanka 's with less syllables ~OMG ~No~o !!!!! ,,thats not what I'm saying sweet lady ,,((Gennelle)))...I like the discipline of 5/7/5/7/7 rule ~the training that moles a sweet flow into a 5 line 31 syllables work of art makes my day,,,but hey thats just me,,I'm a american and speak english and my native Cherokee ..I stopped doing haikus for a long time and I love haiku that are b/t/w are short tankas ~in my opinion..I like Don's style of haiku as his work is splendid ,,and magnificently poetic without using a useless "filler word" to satisfy the ~5/7/5 rule ,,??? In my ancient eyes ((ENGLISH WILL NOT TRANSLATE INTO JAPANESE))..Compromising with a american tanka in a 5 line flow ~smiles ~ where as if I were trying to do a traditional Japanese tanka I'd do the tanka in one damn line ,,with much respect ~(bows)~ to the lovely Japanese people ..Now I've done it I'm gonna' get all thoes hate i/m's again ~so ??? Let me shut up /not a chance ~ "every fruit is the first fruit ,,shapely and absolute "..Bottom line - do not use less syllables in these tankas ,,its perfect just the way it is ~in my opinion ~Tom -
Wow! Tom, thank you for your great comment and applause
I suppose to be closer to original authenticity, we should have less syllables (in English), but what the hey...if it moves the heart in some way, it's good enough for me.
~ Gennelle
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warming the earth into submission
Ok what is traditional ???
Tanka have changed and evolved over the centuries, but the form of five syllabic units containing 31 syllables has remained the same.Topics have expanded from the traditional expressions of passion and heartache, and styles have changed to include modern language and even colloquialisms.
In Japanese, tanka is often written in one straight line, but in English and other languages, we usually divide the lines into the five syllabic units: 5-7-5-7-7.
Usually, each line consists of one image or idea; unlike English poetry, one does not seek to "wrap" lines in tanka, though in the best tanka the five lines often flow seamlessly into one thought.
~Meditating ,,we "Westerners" are creating wonderful tankas that breathe new life in the forest ,yielding much respect to mother nature and all that love this beautiful land ..I love your tanka-link ~its a wonderful expression of love and respect for "Mother",,in my old eyes ..
"Tender-touched, they're led
taught the ways of life and death
tuned to Earth and sky"
From earth to heaven ,,you have left nothing to chance in so few words ..~smiles~~~in my opinion ~well done ..
Skinwalker
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I love elephants! now that I have that out of my system
Atruely beautiful poem. I think you captured those magnificant creatures well. Great word choice too
peace and love
Susan
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You over all presentation is always perfect, and this is exceptional. I love the poem itself. You always use a perfect choice of words that seem to be like icing on a cake. Really nice portrayal you have here! I think this is one of my favorites of yours.
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Thank you, Brian! I really appreciate your kind comments. Aren't elephants wonderful people!
~ Gennelle
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I thank you for introducing me to a new form of poetry. I'm a fan of Haiku, but hadn't realized that there was much beyond haiku and sonnett. So, thank you.
This is a wonderful poem -- I absoluetely love the form, and the pictures. Beautifully writtein!
I LOVE elephants
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Thanks Wildman Geez man, you have got to get a colour card thingy, whatever, for your BC pc! You don't know what you're missing!
~ G
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Thank you so much M Infrasound travels for miles...be great if we had it, save on phone bills
You a 'convert' to Tanka?! Nah, you are too good at your sonnets!
~ G
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Thoughtful
This is tender and lovely, and true to what I know of elephants. They are amazing creatures, of which zoo-goers only see the surface. I like this a lot! Especially your reference to infrasound, which like ultrasound, is beyond our senses, but real and useful. When I get bored with sonnets (if ever) I may take a look at tanka!
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Serene
Such a nice change.. can't remember perusing an animal-related poem on the site. This piece has a tusker-walk quality about it.. can almost feel them wondering lazily along lifes path. Wish I could see the phot properly.. imagination is good though.. good stuff. -
Thanks a bunch, Brida ...Elephants can teach us a lot, they are amazing. Have fun in your Tanka class.
~ G
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Thank you for your lovely comments Myra! Oh, I do adore Elephant. Yes, you and me both, we can relate eh? Aha, so 'poetic license' rules on "veldt"...and so it should indeed.
Love & Light,
~ Gennelle
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I think that the elephants know better than many humans we see around.
Very good poem G!
And hey, I join the Andrew's tanka class now
hugs,
Mari
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a me poem
Ah Poetess! An Elephant mother ... that is what I am! And veldt? Well, Herman Charles Bosman knew that word well. I love it! I always love dt sounds ... it is soooooooo dt. To be quite poetic: dt makes me see t double d 
Lovely poem. Why does a fairy love a mountain?
Riddle riedle ruddle ... duh
Luv ya muchly!
Myra -
It is complete.
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There, I finally got the wording I wanted...it is now 'orthodox'
~ G
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Thanks No, according to my Oxford English Dictionary, "veldt" is only an 'alternative' (probably American). Yes, I missed a word in the second line...you're good aren't you?
(I'm trying to think of the right combo)
~ G
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Nice image! I think you mean "veldt" in line 2. Do tankas vary to 5,5,5,7,7 as in your first? I'm familiar with the 5,7,5,7,7 of the second. Great when paired with the picture.
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Oh, har har
s'pose you think that's very droll
~ G
Edited on Jun 20, 4:05 because ''. -
squeaks
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