You can be a strong stubborn man,
Yet I’m your biggest fan.
Always making sure you are there,
For this, I will always care.
So many days with you at the beach,
I’m always eager to learn what you’ll teach.
You are a shining beacon of light,
Always ready to help me fight my fight.
My time with you will always be
Worth the world's largest fee.
I remember as a child riding your shoulders,
Thinking you could easily move boulders.
Sometimes I just don’t know how to say
I’ll love you always dad, Happy Father’s Day!
Author notes
This is a Sonnet I wrote to put in the greeting card for my dad.
Written June 19th, 2004
A contest entry
- Billy and J.L.s Father's Day Cafe by SEA angel.
300 points, ended June 21, 2004, 4 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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i once wrote a poem for my parents anniversery and they loved it more than the store bought gift. you did a good thing. the poem is nice.
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i once wrote a poem for my parents anniversery and they loves it more than the store bought gift. you did a good thing. the poem is nice.
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I agree with yes you can! it really could, it flows really well! i am so happy that you have such a great dad, me and u have both been blessed!! check out some of my poems some time! great write! keep it up!!
Always!
Whitney -
This is very sweet. I hope your dad read this and knows how you feel about him.
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Well, I read your page. It says spare your feelings, so I will be critical (I hope I don't come off horrible)
It is a bit like a hallmark greeting card, and some people like that. It's not that original, though. Of course this is a very selective type of poem, it's hard to make a poem for your parents beautiful to any degree. However some of those rhymes... they're used all the time, and you rearranged words to make them fit... i.e. "for this, I will always care". There was plenty of good behind the poem, and plenty of lines that work very well. I suppose for a father's day poem, it's pretty good. It just wasn't absolutely stunning to read.
(If I read a bad example of your work, let me know... I really don't want to be such a bastard about these things) -
Thanks a lot for the compliment!
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this is sooo sweet! i love it i did the same thing for my dad.your's is much better congrats on the win you deserved it.
Brooke -
shining* and world's* sorry but i just can't stand readin things with typos, its a thing, i'm kinda like a perfectionist, take it not to heart but do not forget, if you have any questions about grammar or spelling, you can ask me, sorry if this makes you feel a little awkward but i don't like having friends having typos.....lol, very confusing and complex person i am, yes, hmm. lol, that was yoda! well, i liked it, it reminds me of my daddy, except we never went to any beaches...
Jaime -
Yes I saw #3 but didnt really get it.
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Nice
This is a really good poem, I like it a lot & in many ways reminds me of how my father was when he was alive. This is a really good piece & I enjoyed reading it. Very expressive, and loving towards your dad
---Sara
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Excellent
WOW! This is good enough to be in a Hallmark Father's Day Greeting card.
Edited on Jun 20, 10:05 because ''.
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