by Gregg Rowe
There was a rabbit from Willow Creek
Who one day refused to eat her greens
She ate only fruits
Then went and puked
Becoming the first rabbit that was anorexic
by Gregg Rowe
There was a rabbit from Willow Creek
Who one day refused to eat her greens
She ate only fruits
Then went and puked
Becoming the first rabbit that was anorexic
Author notes
Written June 18th, 2004
In a list
What did you think
Comments
1 - 10 of 10
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bulimic
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I love bunnies! Technically, baleimic (sp?) is when you throw up your food and anorexic is when you don't eat at all. I liked the poem though!
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LOL!!!
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I meant to say - I really love the background, too!
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I love the idea of an anorexic rabbit - it's so absurd that a rabbit who eats only vegetables should be concerned about their weight that even just the title is funny!
However, I don't think your rhyme works very well - a limerick form very much relies on strong rhyme to emphasise the humour. 'anorexic' ends with an entirely different vowel sound to 'Creek', and unless you use an exact rhyme for the second line that really doesn't work.
Besides that, limericks have a very precise rhythm - da DA da da DA da da DA / da DA da da DA da da DA / da DA da da DA / da DA da da DA / da DA da da DA da da DA! By the fact that you haven't followed this rhythm, you've emphasised the flaws in the rhyme scheme and rather spoilt the effect.
So great idea, very funny, but the execution could do with some serious thought. -
Hi: TYhanks for the critique: Creek and anorexic rhyme with the aaa and green is a off-rhyme with the long e sound in it, which makes it pretty close to a limerick...if you have further suggestions on the rhyme scheme I am opened to the criticism and changes because I like where the poem is heading so far. Gregg
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While I did chuckle at this, my impression has always been that a limerick should have a rhyme scheme - aabba - that being the case, I don't know what this is except funny.
Scott -
splendid
How flippin' funny!!!! It amazes me how you and others come up with these things. It makes me think perhaps I am a little closed minded. Jacki -
hehehe just been bent over double doing the mad round. i think i am finally feeling half okay now. just need more nicotine. i wondered where my sunglasses had got to. stares at rabbit and runs for the tomato sauce.
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You've got a typo in the title.
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