Three years ago.
Even your silence is poetry, I told her.
But I am never silent, she protested.
You sleep, I said, don't you?
Silence.
I could hear her fingers freezing above the keyboard,
Her eyes reading again the words on the screen
Trying to penetrate a meaning she was unsure of,
Closing her eyes and remembering earlier remarks shy, irrelevant, revealing,
Scratching the cat between the ears
Then suddenly feeling her heart losing its regular step
As she penetrated the riddle's inner core...
Her eyes returned to the screen
No longer averting their regard from what she knew is there, is coming,
Allowing it to happen by laying out the first lines herself...
...When the silent western gateways
Waken up from daylong slumber
Stretching lazy fire fingers
Long horizons painted amber,
Slides, reluctantly obeying,
The majestic ball of fury,
Liquid hell pleading for mercy
From a ruthless heaven's jury...
...said the poet, she wrote.
...Let my rays' thin spider fabric
Linger back a lonely instant
Time my bulk through yawning ocean
Sinks to worlds a nightlife distant,
And while white's eternal colors
Dress this mortal's raving petals,
I will flare one timeless eon
As her passion my heart nettles...
...said the sun, said the poet, said I, I wrote.
Her eyes riveted to the screen,
Hoping not to see, knowing she will see,
Yearning for a reality molded into a frozen dream,
Magnificent, dead, like a masterpiece.
Marry me... I said.
You know I cannot... she said.
I know you cannot. Love me... I said.
You know I do... she said.
I know you do... I said.
Three years ago. Three years day and day.
Love unending.
She said the words,
I rhymed them,
She colored her moods in her words,
Times a girl, times a forest,
Times an autumn day chasing unbearable summer heat
With sparkling moist breaths
Born depth of musty wells bordered by blooming daffodils...
Blue daffodils... I rhymed...
Yellow... she chimed...
Blue, I insisted, blue, like the white of your teeth, like the red of your lips...
Blue, she agreed, like the crystal of your eye, like the golden thread of your love...
For long days the screen would stay blank,
A blinking cursor beating with mathematical accuracy each so and so seconds,
An empty mailbox, a pain at the bottom of a deep pit hidden inside my belly,
And then suddenly thousands of suns
Bursting like tons of popcorn in a forest fire magnified to cosmic dimensions
Filling my screen with screams of pleasure, of fascination,
Interminable excuses as sweet as a virgin's first cry of delight
That so few have ever had the right to hear,
And kisses, so many, raging, intoxicating, delirious death in a shattering embrace...
Ending with a question. Always.
Do you love me?
Turning off the screen. Always.
Before I had time to answer.
Afraid of the answer. Knowing the answer. Telling me the answer next time.
You do.
Three years ago. Three years day and day. Three years now.
Yesterday.
We never met, she said.
We never met, I agreed.
We never touched, she said.
We never touched, I agreed.
The never line, the line I feared beyond reason,
The nightmare seeded in each of my ecstatic dreams
Now finally showing signs of life on its own,
Our enthralling garden finally giving in through one long neglected corner
To an all powerful weed threatening the lanes, the trees,
And most of all the flowers, oh, the flowers...
We will never meet, she said,
I did not respond.
We will never touch, she said.
I did not respond.
I could hear her fingers flying softly above the keyboard,
Hardly touching,
Rare, lonely drops of rain hitting randomly one of the keys
And splashing crystallizing salt sparks upon the unblinking screen.
My mind's eye lowered its eyelid,
Imagining her delicate hand
Holding a long white shapely feather between her fingers,
Dipping it from time to time in blue-violet ink
And branding small words in impeccable calligraphy on a piece of satin paper...
A queen in love with the accused delivering her sentence...
A death sentence...
Don't answer, my screen will be off as you do,
I will never know your answer,
I don't want to know your answer,
I love you too much for an answer.
You gave me life,
So much life,
An exquisitely exotic garden of words garnered at petals' rims,
Decorating oddly shaped leaves,
Hanging onto the flowing mists undeciphered messages
Waiting for a magic wand to turn them into colorful fountains of warmth...
All I gave you is but time. Loss. Time.
There is so much life in you,
So much joy,
So much need for a woman's subtle breeze
To blow raging fires in your hidden desires,
To merge in your nights with your body's delights,
To shave your day's stubble and sooth your heart's rubble...
My last mail. Don't cry.
I do.
I cannot stand your pain.
I am but a screen,
Cold to the touch, silent, breathless,
You don't see my smile, you don't hear my sigh,
So far away.
Unreachable,
Non existent, a dream we had,
We cannot have.
You are so warm,
Passion flows so freely through your veins...
Oh, the flourishing storms in my mind so hurtful...
Warmth you need,
A warm woman you need, warm, close, warm,
There,
They are,
Waiting for you,
Close to you, to your touch, to your need,
To a body locked away from life for three long years
To love you, oh, madly,
For hours and years,
To kiss, oh, so gladly,
Your sadness and fears,
To share in your death
When the sun rises west
Your lips to her breath,
Your hand to her breast...
You are free.
The screen went blank.
Nooo... I screamed, you witch, you life, you love...
How did you do it,
What kind of trick is that,
Oh, back... please come back,
Please...
But the cursor kept blinking at its mathematically calculated corner,
With its mathematically calculated accuracy,
Counting accurately the flood of life leaving my body
And evaporating through my fingertips.
#
A knock at the door.
She opened.
Blue lines decorating the wasted gardens underneath her eyes
Like a field of bluebells growing wild along a rift in the landscape.
She signed the registered letter,
Big red warning words on the envelope about the futility of tax evasion,
Crime, punishment...
She sighed, tired, numb. Opened the envelope.
A narrow long piece of paper fell to the carpet.
She picked it up.
One word written on it. Ring.
She closed her eyes,
Waited. Minutes. Hours. A smile frozen on her lips.
Then she took the narrow piece of paper,
Dropped a point of glue on it
And wrapped it around the second from left finger of her left hand.
She knew the choice is out of her hand,
The magic was working,
There was no volition in the move that
With a sharp snapping sound
Turned the screen on.
No volition... so why were there thousands of horses running wild
In the desert of her chest?
The message waiting for her on the screen said
Lover,
Do you admire my sleight of hand
Or are you ready to bite my head off
In one of those wonderful excesses of fury
You never showed me you are capable of?
Even when I angered you terribly.
You always forgave me,
Do you forgive me now?
I followed your advice. Seriously,
Don't you believe me?
Listen.
I met this gorgeous, tall, shapely blonde,
I told her I am a poet,
She immediately unzipped my pants,
Took them off
And started going through my pockets.
I told her I am poor.
Then she slapped me
And left. Took my pants with her.
She stopped for a moment,
The smile getting to life, cutting deeper into her face,
The whiteness of shyly hiding teeth showing...
I didn't give up. I don't give up so easily, you know me.
I met this gorgeous, tall, shapely blonde,
No... no, another one.
By now the smile turned into puppy laughter,
Rolling tears burning round holes into the carpet
Before sizzling away into phosphorescent nothingness.
I told her I am a poet.
She immediately unzipped her pants,
Took them off
And showed me the poem tattooed on her butt's left cheek,
The side of the heart...
I AM BAD
I LOVE DED
I pointed the spelling mistake to her.
Then she slapped me.
And left. Leaving her pants with me.
She reached the bottom line on the screen,
By now laughing hysterically,
Rolling on the floor
With the cat chasing angrily the beads rolling from her eyes
And magically vanishing at claw's touch.
She stopped. Frightened.
The following screen waiting to be pushed up.
All she had to do is push one key.
She pushed the key.
It started
Child,
If it was this world's reality that I was looking for
I would have found it. Easily.
If it was dancing, loving, making love
I could have found it. Easily.
If I could not have waited eternity
I would not have made the first three years steps of eternity's road...
And now six more months since you disappeared.
I wanted the legend,
You gave me the legend.
I wanted the queen,
You made me a knight.
I wanted the passion,
You poured upon me turmoil, fire, hell, life.
I wanted you.
One day, you will give me... you.
She closed her eyes.
There was more text on the screen,
She did not have to read it. She knew it.
Not even wondering how.
She huddled in the long sofa's corner,
Knees to chin,
Hands around knees,
Pale lips softly reciting his unseen words...
Worlds ago, in molded armor down my muscles' ire shaped,
Wild my mount, the bastard stallion son to mare by tempest raped,
Light my sword forged depth of sunset bearing magic long its blade,
Huge the dragon's coiling fury, small the riding gentle maid.
Maiden, your's the choice of battle, craves my heart your tender breast,
Say the word and magic guide me carving heart off dragon chest,
Say the word and if your wish is I will breach my blade times three,
On my knees I'll pray your beauty as your dragon's slaying me...
More, there is more...
Worlds ago, the stardom fury shaped its army's scoreless ways,
Mighty fire raging pebbles strewn long ropes of braided rays,
I, the sun, immortal soldier, blazing glare my warring trade,
Teeming mindless life my kingdom, and one smiling gentle maid.
Maiden, your's the choice of kingdom, craves my heart your tender lips,
Say the word and barren planets I'll emblaze to flying ships,
Say the word and if your wish is trade my hell to candle flame,
As your lips I touch in wonder softly breathe and wipe my name...
There is more, does she dare?...
Days ago, my face unshaven framing clouds beneath my eyes,
Steady fingers wording anger under torment's strutting vise,
Wild the manner I decided past the edge to soar and fade,
Restful... calm... she touched my fingers, oceans' far the gentle maid.
Maiden, your's the choice of morrow, craves my heart your tender life,
Say the word and born be legends... knight's... and sun's... and poet's wife...
Say the word and if your wish is I will dry my ink's last rhyme,
Never more to sing your beauty, never more, till start of time...
She opened her eyes,
Got up,
Went to the screen and to the message waiting for her,
Clear, unambiguous, sharp.
Child,
Say the word.
#
I was lying on the floor,
My eyes fixed to the yellowish bulb,
The incandescent wire slightly vibrating.
I knew when.
I did not know if,
I did not know what.
I heard the first beep. The if was answered.
I waited.
I heard a second one. Then a third.
Then quiet.
I waited. Shivering. Something was wrong,
Not three, she knows, not three,
Three is wrong,
She knows three is wrong.
I need one more beep, girl.
Mercy, please have mercy.
I remained lying on the floor one more hour.
Hoping. Praying. Giving up.
I went to the screen.
Yellow incandescence patches dancing in front of my eyes,
Three characters waiting for me,
Indifferent.
I stared blindly at the three Xs hiding my life,
Then clicked them one by one.
I-D-O
I dared blink
Just as a smiley preceded message started rolling in...
You asked for one single word, didn't you?...
She ripped my sanity,
She raved my heart.
She ravished my life.
I love you.
I still wonder... who of us said it?...
Author notes
Written June 18th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- REAL Poetry by ArieLLeGiSeLLe.
416 points, ended July 24, 2005, 21 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - your best poem - prewrites by hilly.
300 points, ended August 5, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - PIF: Prewrites Contest for My Favorites by Night Hope.
900 points, ended June 13, 2008, 29 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 40 of 40
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ahhh I have missed reading you.. Funny knowing what I know.. I miss the beauty of that paticular sun.. how its warmth could make you feel..
I got teary eyed reading this.. the sad journey you have under taken.. but I always see green..
I hope life is being good to you and that your flame shines bright..
Take care, and be safe,
Catressa
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missed you too, my friend. life mightn't be green anymore, the flame keeps a roarin'...
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"Silence.
I could hear her fingers freezing above the keyboard,
Her eyes reading again the words on the screen
Trying to penetrate a meaning she was unsure of,
Closing her eyes and remembering earlier remarks shy, irrelevant, revealing..."
My goodness gracious. May I just say that I am stunned by the magnitude & complete beauty of this poem, this epic love story? Such magnificence, laid upon the page for my dreaming eyes to discover, for my searching soul to unveil. You are a magician, dear Scribe. A painter of tender words & worlds unmapped, realms not yet traveled. This piece deserves more than a mere cyber trophy, more than any homage could contain. I will only say I love it in its entirety. I think you might know why, from previous poems I've written. There is no more elusive subject than Love. Nor is there a subject more worthy of definition, none more precious to us all. Thank you for entering my contest with such wondrous fervor, Joe. Good luck, my Friend. 
Wanda
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"There is no more elusive subject than Love"... oh, you are so right, my dear lady friend
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Interesting...long...but interesting. And I'll be honest, as interesting as it was, I hardly had the attention span. I got distracted many times, by stupid things, and I had to redirect myself. I think this is good, but because of the style in which it was done, it's extremely hard for me to appreciate. And the length doesn't help.
But you know it's good. -
stutter stutter stutter... I am totally lost for words... I have just woken up ( on the floor) 1 to many drinks last night.... You told me this was going to be a long read ( usually a long poem doesn't keep me)
But this is damn amazing, the way you interlock your words, whats the secret..... Im going to book mark this ( congrads)your my first poem I have !!!! bookmarked... love the way you have put sadness, hope all different emotions and humour all interlocks... I love these following stanzas I think its the following3 after that
I told her I am a poet.
She immediately unzipped her pants,
Took them off
And showed me the poem tattooed on her butt's left cheek,
The side of the heart...
I AM BAD
I LOVE DED
Ohhhh I love the lot... it was a pleasure to awken off the floor, to read such beauty.... ohhhh you didn't lie, you dont owwe me a beer now...
Bronze trophy mmmmm dont agree with that... this deserved GOLD GOLD GOLD
Tracey
my last applause I give to you
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now it's my turn to get off the floor, and do my best not to stutter answering your comment.
i warned you that you are going to fall off bed, though i imagined other reasons, lol. so gravitation is NOT a legend after all? glad to hear it, i love my readers, even those upside-down
i am glad to be the first for something in your life, it's always a gratifying sensation. i remember, not so long ago, another reader (for another poem) made me her first choice, or something like that, i sang all day, lol. i guess i suffer from same human weaknesses like anybody else i know.
pity that i do not owe you a beer anymore, guess i will have to find another excuse for it
thank you my friend for being such an outspoken commenter and... poet.
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i am afraid it will take a forever which i do not have
and that's a sad smile, mixed with the emotion of being thankful to that one woman who pours it out of me, for as long as she loves me 
it will pour... you know, i always feel pain thinking of those great artists - poets, writers, singers, painters who leave so much undone and forever unknown once they pass away. i am indebted for your thinking something may be lost once i join them wherever they are.
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You have so much poetry inside of you. Don't you think it will take more than two lifetimes to say it all?
♥ Jen -
thank you so much emerald for the condensed beauty of this comment
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i couldnt let go either ....you kept me within the moments .... fabulously done ... quite a write ... >>> EM
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dear arielle giselle, much pleasure these words are for me, thank you my friend...
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Ummm...this is pure poetry. this is saturated with beauty. I love this. Bravo! I have no corrections for this! Which is awesome! You used such wonderful poetic devices and your words were so original and unique and splendid! incredible write!
Arielle Giselle -
thank you jen, four times marvelous in one comment is a first for me, and it will ensure a marvelous day for me. thank you my friend.
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this took me on a journey... marvelous marvelous marvelous. I couldn't say it enough. a deeply felt poem, of a timeless love story. confusing, but what isn't? marvelous.
thank you for entering the contest.
Jen -
thank you my friend
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This was the long, poetic version of something I’ve read before. Your poetry was so marvelous in this. The scene was well detailed and easy to envision. There were a few spots that I had to read twice or so to understand who was saying what to whom, but minor given the epic nature of this. Well done!
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dearest lady, thank you for the beauty of this comment...
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BRAVO!
That's the longest thing I've ever read on AP and it was amazing. I have tears. This is so sweet. You have such an wonderful way with words. Your choice of words painted a beautiful vibrant picture. I'm still thinking about all the things going on in this. It's great. Beautiful and wonderful job on this amazing piece. -
its incredible how some comments are so, well... incredible thank you friend
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I wish I had the words to say how I felt. To tell the truth I started this with the thought, "I'll never get through this..."
But I was so worng, I couldn't let go. I wish I had the words to say.... Just great job, and good luck. -
Well thanks, I think you are very kind.
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and some comments are... wow... thanks a lot.
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Wow, just wow. I have been taken back in time simply because I have had a similar journey. This is incredible! I love this, I felt such highs and lows reading this!!!!
Best of luck to you in this contest.
~*Destiny*~ -
dear reg, how could i have missed this comment? i didn't get the "usual" screen reminder, so a few minutes ago just by chance i saw it... dearest reg, there is no way in the world that I could answer it appropriately to its full worth for me. i got some beautiful comments, some great comments, during my "journey" through AP, but such a heartfelt comment and such a top verdict... my god, i believe that if i was alone i would have tears in my eyes too. yes, i like nice comments, but this one is so different, i hear your heart talking to me. i am indebted. thank you immensely dearest fellow poetess.
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leviathan
if again i could travel into my head, to set straight the words in arrangement of comment ... i would, i promise, i really would have. But, how am i to comment on something as leviathan as this? how can the whhite lettering show any meaning on the black screen, how can i not leave for you too a blank screen? i shall fall back into routine, for loss of other choices: my congratulations.
[what else could i say? i have tears in my eyes, so my mind is even more fogged up than usual. this is such a brilliant write. Leviathan, leviathan, leviathan.]
reg -
dear jess. i always leave it to the end answering those that i like most. since you are answered at the end... . sharing the pleasures of writing with someone enjoying the pleasures of reading is definitely one of the greatest pleasures in any writer's life. thanks for being such a pleasant partner on this journey.
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dear miranda. the "Illiad" was longer and look where it got to ... liked your comment so much that went over to your page and read fully your introduction, then tried one poem... eros awaking... second... further awaking... third... hit eros again... my, my, you like to write it and you know to write it, and it is as soft as erotic should be before it becomes pure p. great write and thanks again for commenting on my entry.
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after reading your "Patrick 3", i can sense how this kind of poem gets through to you... and i hope that the final happy end lights up your life as well. thank you for your beautiful comment.
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elizabeth, great words from a great fellow poet, what more is needed to make a day perfect?... thank you
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wildman, i thought at first it is a jest... then went over to your pages, started reading, and after (forgetting time, lol) about ten entries thought to myself: wow, this is a great writer, getting such an opinion from him is an honor, and such a guy certainly means what he says. many thanks, wildman.
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that's sweet, sweet baby... thanks
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I love this. It is extremely long for a poem, but it kept me interested all the way through. It's definitely one of the more creative and original pieces I've read on here and it's very well written. I loved the way you ended it. Great write. Thanks for sharing. keep up the great writes. You're a wonderful writer.
~Miranda
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whoaness
I love this. It was really amazing, and like aemeyer45, I didn't even realize how long it was until I read the whole thing. But it's really, really beautiful. It's really captivating, I got kindda..sucked in you know? Great job though. It's a masterpiece. I love it.
nachos cheese and anarchy
~*kAyLa*~ -
Wow, this is a masterpiece. I'm going to bookmark this, as it wasn't just a poem, but a journey.
Wonderful, wonderful write.
Elizabeth -
Brilliant!
"Don't start it unless you intend to finish..??" Doth thou jest? This is the work of a poetic genius - a mountain amongst mole hills... an epic work of passion and insight that draws one through the canyons of love..tumbles you uncontrollably through rapids of rhyme and rythme, caresses you along shimmering banks, then thrusts you deep into a sea of serenity.. -
You kept me going. It is a great talent to keep your ideas going until it has such a natural finish. While it is much easier to throw a few ideas out there -I much more appreciate your time and efforts to write write the details.
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This is nice. I liked it. This is interesting, and I liked reading. It was nice and in-depth. Keep writing.
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This is amazing... no wait, awesome. It draws you into the story. If someone doesn't finish it i will be amazed. I couldn't stop once i started. It was long but extremely well written. I love it hun. Awesome write.
*~Jessica~* -
Wow...This is so amazing. It just sucks you in. I didn't even notice how long it was until I was done. Wow! I love the deeper way you portrayed love, too. Great job!
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