I do not like burnt popcorn, man
I do not like it from a can.
This warm and salty, butter-flavored treat
for some reason reminds me of the smell of my feet.
I will eat good popcorn anywhere
while standing up or in a chair.
If it's made just right, I have none to spare
But if it's nuked to a crisp, you can have my share.
Each time at the movies, when the sound drops real low
you hear popcorn being eaten in every aisle and every row.
They cook it to perfection and give you a barrel-full to eat.
Of all the candies and goodies for sale, it's by far my favorite treat.
So why do they mess it up at work?
Where "charcoal fairies" must surely lurk.
From the CEO to the mailroom clerk,
all blaming the microwave - that nuclear JERK!!
The people who cook it are never to blame.
The air was too hot, or they used too much flame.
It sure would be funny if this was merely a game.
But those who burn popcorn should hang their heads in shame.
Imagine yourself, if you were cooked to perfection,
then ignored as you turned a dark brown complexion.
Would you look at the cook with any affection
when they couldn't even follow a simple direction?
So please take care when you see kernels pop.
If you think they are done, hit the button called "STOP!"
A bag of perfection, from bottom to top
will be your reward, instead of ugly, burnt slop.
Author notes
So easy to make, so easy to mess up.
Written June 17th, 2004
A contest entry
- Is Burnt Popcorn Funny???? by SusanL.
300 points, ended June 21, 2004, 15 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 11 of 11
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Great write! It's so aggravating when different microwaves cook popcorn at different levels. I noticed the newer models have a "popcorn" button~that has made life easier. Loved this!
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Okay...so I am a slow duck here. Having just discovered your writing. This is absolutely hilarious but oh-so-true! I really enjoyed reading this. It gave me giggles all the way through. I see you won a trophy for it as well. I am not surprised. Great job!
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I was going to log off then saw this cute little poem posted. I know I've been very bad in commenting on your poems. hangs head in shame But in my defense, I've been made Greeter and have been busy reading and commenting on newbies. Plus dealing with the loss of my mom.
Anyway, great poem John, I don't like the blackened goo either. Good luck in the contest.
~Willow~
P.S. JULY BABIES ROCK!!!!!!!
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this poem is very funny. it is true, i blame the microwave though. the package says 5 minutes but my microwave cooks it for three in the same amount of time. damn appliances. i shall read more later
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I think your poem should have gotten first. I hate burned popcorn, love good stuff. Just got back from vacation so I didn't see this until today. Great poem!
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Thanks so much Susan, sorry it took so long to reply. I held my first contest and didn't realize how much time it takes to hold one. Next time I'll just give my points away.LOL
Take care,
John -
GREAT! Dr. Suess form at it's best. This is great and you wrote on what the contest holder spoke of, that is always good. Very humerous!
CONGRATULATIONS ON YOU WIN!!! It was worthy!
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Oh how Awesome you have taken one of my favorite Suess books and parodied it!!!! you rock!!!! I think so far you are the only one who has truly tried to do this... And you get my applaud for that!!!!! How awesome are you...
And it was funny too!!!!!
Susan -
great!!! its freakin hillarious. a dark complexion. yea i luv popcorn, i hate it when its sweet though. and really how hard is it to cook POPCORN?
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this is totally awesome! you have truly taken one of my favorite treats to a new height! the rhymes are great, you have a great sense of humor. very seussian indeed! there's always some twit burning the microwave popcorn at the office, last time we had to evacuate
if this entry doesn't win...then i hope mine does
lol
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I have to agree firmly with you on that one. I don't understand why it seems so hard to make popcorn. Why is it that it tends to burn at work. I don't recall burning my popcorn, but maybe once or twice. I sit in front of that microwave and watch it. When the popping slows down, I hit stop. I don't care if it isn't popped all the way. I would rather have half a bag of perfection, than a whole bag of blackened crud. I mean it looks like something that has been doused down with tar, and tastes that bad too. Yuk. I did love this poem. Great job on the Dr. Suess style of it. You really had me laughing over this one. Good luck in the contest.
becca
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