Mildew eyes
cornered, fixed in a gaze
on her sentimental
prize, soon he'll know.
Eloquently, she sways,
prays for implicit adoration
hair in trembling
waves fighting
past the condensation.
In true appreciation of
her solitary smile, claws
hungrily to emaciation
mooring bitterness
in style.
Beguile her simple trust
time must thrust
her abruptness for a while.
Author notes
Inspired by the girl in the background of this contest...
I'd like to think this is verging on the darker side of grey.
Written June 13th, 2004
A contest entry
- grey poetry by g r e y i s m.
300 points, ended June 17, 2004, 4 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 5 of 5
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Interesting piece. I enjoyed the frenetic meter this poem has. The rhyming couplets are scattered about crazily; while normally this would have me reeling in revulsion, I am instead drawn to each successive line until the end. Very nicely done.
By the way, "Mildew eyes" is fantastic.
Respectfully,
bad-e -
awesome write congrats on the silver , be safe , catressa
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I liked this alot, well done and ty for your comments on mine
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Your poem paints a grey portait of the contest holders exhibition. You have done well with the lines of dark and grey. Very nice! Good luck with the contest.
Renee
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any shade of grey is fine, and it pleases me to know you found the background inspirational. I enjoyed this much. great job with it, and best of wishes.
thanks for entering!
O
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