Actually, they are never better
Than hugs
But often it's the closest I can get
The truth is - I do it to be close to you
Close to anybody
But if I got too close - to you
-I knew I'd fall in love with you
So I couldn't let you hug me
I was lying thru my teeth
But I love you anyway
I'm sorry
Author notes
Alright, so this sucks. It's about a friend I accidentally fell in love with, but they'd never return it b/c of religious differences. Also, the use of "thru" instead of "through"...sorry about that...the longer word just didn't look right.
Written June 13th, 2004
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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I like how u made a poem out of a saying thats pretty cool! we all lie, we should try not to but it happends! but great poem like it alot! keep up the great work. you should read more of my peoms!
always
whhitney -
I thought this was very well done! I've had a VERy similar expierence with someone. Sometimes I wish I could just turn off my attractions to friends.
Again, Loved it.
~Meagan -
The word "actually" is there b/c I start the poem mid-(hypothetical) conversation. There's this curious (yet funny!) thing I do to most of my friends upon meeting/greeting/leaving them (in addition to hugs on leaving of course!). The word "Honestly" in it's place would simply not make sense. But i'll take your other suggestions - thanks for the comment!
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Yes this is very sad...I'm not sure exactly what to think of this but I know its good..nice write..
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I really like the beginning of this poem. It starts out very strong, and really shows the way you touch on this poem...the whole essence of the lie.
I think, perhaps, it would be even more effective if you replaced "Actually" with "Honestly." This way you have an interesting duality where a poem about lying begins with an affirmation of truth. Here you are, in this poem, confessing what you've hidden, what it's been painful to hide...maybe you should start things with honesty, which is how you really are coming to express yourself?
I also like the repetition of "But" in this poem. It's like you're constantly trying to come up with an excuse, a reason, something to be contrary to something else.
And I know this is a weird critique, but I like the way it flows better if you switch, somewhat, lines 6 and 7, and turn it to
"But if I got too close/I knew I'd fall in love with you."
Overall, it's great. I like it a lot! -
Thank you for commenting on my poems this is sad but the poem is very good well done
tash xx -
Maybe, but it makes me feel bad anyway. :'(
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lying is ok....as long as u dont get caught.
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Awe, this is sad. Though your emotion is expressed well here. Thank you for commenting on 'As a Crow'.
AP
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