we walked on snow-dusted graves,
our footprints became simple evidence of subtle mourning,
numbers of ivory crystals were crushed beneath
our treading feet, even as we strode so tenderly;
gracefully, not to awake the deep-sleepers.
i liked to kiss his cheeks and caress his purpled lips;
there was no taste exactly like an angel's breath.
his purity was beautiful in a tranquil sort of way,
an unmarred exhalation of a sinless conquest.
the night was dreamlike in its atmosphere,
and the colorless body of an angel awaited my finding,
motionless; it was all one could do to cradle his face in palm,
and two worlds of callous and innocent fufillment collided,
but i sensed no desperation; his death was freedom.
those wings had fallen off some time ago,
and even without them he never seemed equal to me,
there was a warmth about him, blanketing a faultless being,
giving life to proof that such an existence was probable.
oh, he made all things possible.
we walked on snow-dusted graves,
our footprints became simple evidence of subtle mourning,
numbers of ivory crystals were crushed beneath
our treading feet, even as we strode so tenderly;
gracefully, just his memory and i.
Author notes
I'm not sure if this is exactly what you are looking for, but this prompt provoked me to write about somebody very special to me that passed away... I just wanted to sum up the way he was: innocent and pure; he taught me how to overcome loss and grief, and every time I looked I him I wanted to be a better person, so in that way I believe he has "enriched" my life... Without him I might've never found myself or who I wanted to become... So hopefully, with that being said, this fits your guidelines.
Written June 12th, 2004
A contest entry
- For All That You Have Done by whispernthedark.
425 points, ended June 13, 2004, 22 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything Beautiful by Dirty and Broken.
900 points, ended March 24, 2007, 13 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 16 of 16
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i like this a lot, very bneautiful, especially how you repeated the starting phrase at the end, with a hint of change
thank you for entering -
Simply wonderful. What else is there to say, you have given me the feeling. Thank you, and may peace be with you. With Love, M
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Such beauty in your words and imagery. This one leaves me with a soft quiet sensation, like snow on a mild evening that insulates intruding sounds.
"our footprints became simple evidence of subtle mourning,". I really like that line.
The whole piece is well-written and entices the reader. The ending resolves well with the repetition of the first stanza. Most enjoyable.
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This was beautiful...the whole thing was great. The flow, and the imagery...just awesome. Keep up the good work!
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This is really nice, and really emotional. I love the imagery in the poem too, it makes it really powerful. I'm sorry for your loss, I can understand it's hard loosing someone like that. I love this poem, it's a really good tribute.
Well done -
AWESOME!!!!!!
what a beautiful tribute to your wonderful, precious friend......the imagery is profound..........the wording is intense.......such sadness....all to be taken in at once......sorry for your loss...........best wishes.........
~~~~~~~~~~~~~Stephanie~~~~~~~~~~~~~
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it seems you won the gold on this one. congrats. and may i say, well deserved. the words had me hanging on to every one as they dripped like beads of water droplets off an icicle. the crunch of frozen dew when trod on. simple everyday beauties.
my empathy on the passing of one dear to you. the fact that i said 'empathy' was not impersonal. i never say sympathy because sypathy is pity and pity is condescending and i loathe it. empathy is human.
thanks for reading and commenting on my poem again.
--blondie -
This is definitely a Gold poem. You have put so much tangible imagery in this and evoked the memory of this person so well. nice work. $th Stanza, Line 4: "existence".
Scott -
friends are forever is'nt just a saying-its the truth
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heart-tugging
You most certainly deserved the gold on this one!!!! Your friend will always be with you and I bet he is beaming with pride of this beautiful tribute to him.
Jacki
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Congratulations on the gold...
Sam
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good job on the gold with this one.
-L8eR-
~EmmA~ -
Excellent!
Congratulations! Your very moving poem deserved to win first place! You were fortunate to have such a wonderful person in your life. I am equally fortunate and am deeply grateful to have a true friend in my life. Very sorry for your loss!
Maureen
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This is so ... beautiful doesn't seem good enough. I could feel the beauty of this person, and what an angel he must be. Your imagery has brought tears to my eyes. I love the last line, and you will always have his memory to carry you throughout your life. Thank you for entering the contest.
~whisper
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I agree with FallenSolitude all the way. This is an incredibly well written poem that deserves a Hell of a lot more than my comment...please continue with your beautiful work.
~Liadan -
beautiful
oh.. oh my. this is, by far, the most beautiful poem i've ever read. and i'm not being overy-enthusiastic, either. this is amazing. it's such a great hommage to someone who was, obviously, a great friend. i feel honored to have read it, as well. amazing write; if only i could applaud it more than once!
xx Jess
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