We gather here in joyous praise;
of bitter nights and frosty days.
By blustery winds held aloft
caressing whispers
sooth and waft.
We mingle dancing
feather light
till morning smiles
shining bright.
Then with a silent sigh we fall
to answer nature’s needful call.
On wispy breezes we are carried,
gently
lightly
downward
ferried
to nestle on the rocks and sand;
on boughs and branches ‘cross the land.
We coat and cover barren brush
and comfort with the purest blush
We settle there
till springs first break;
nestled together
flake to flake.
Then with the warmth we sadly melt
(Ne’r cursing
the cards we’re dealt)
and gathered by
sun dappled rays;
rise back to heaven
singing praise.
Patricia Gibson-Williams
June 7, 2004
Author notes
I saw this contest on Sunday night while I was trying to take my mind off of Joe’s surgery in the morning. I wrote down the rules for it and a few others in hopes that while I was waiting one of them would take my mind off of what was going one in the operating room. This is the poem I wrote (finished it later) while waiting. Thank you for the inspiration, and the distraction.
Patti
I hope I didn't have to explain that it was from a snowflake's point of view. LOL
Written June 7th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- not your average contest by witchyflyer.
350 points, ended June 12, 2004, 7 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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This was absolute perfection! I read above that you won the gold. I don't even have to read the others to know that you overshadowed the competition. WOW! Your rhyme and flow were simply masterful! I'm excited now and off to read more....
~ Willow ~ -
Congratulations...this is a truly exceptional peice you have wrote...nice job!
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Congratulations on the gold! This was so full of images and liveliness, you deserve it!
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this poem is wonderfull! I could picture the snow storm...
and your rhyming was beautiful. Not the least bit of forced rhyme throughout the whole piece.
"On wispy breezes we are carried,
gently
lightly
downward
ferried"
the spacing of these lines is brilliant.
the whole poem has the sort of light and fluffy feeling to it that goes along with light snow storms so wonderfully.
I imagine fluffy banks of snow, light falling of flakes, the whoel bit.
this was perfectly written, and I have nothing to critique!
seriously- this is -exactly- what I was looking for when I wrote this contest. you are obviously a very talented poet.
Congratultions on the win.
Good luck in future contests
Chelsea's contest rating: 7 out of 7 stars -
Awesome
The picture in my mind was perfect,I could taste the poem and hear it as well. This was like soooo Amazing!! Excellent job!! -
i wrote a snowflake poem also but yours is much better.
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sigh It's so pretty...there's so many beautiful images in this poem, it almost makes me wish for winter again.
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hmm? Never looked at things from a snowflake's point of view *smirk* It was very well written. I like the "rise back to heaven singing praise part. Good write---S
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Lovely poem, wonderful imagery. Brilliant.
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Nature-riffic!
Most people, it seems, don't like to write poetry like this. It's a shame, because this kind of nature-heavy poetry is often beautiful. You really capture the sensation of winter, as we dance like snowflakes through your poem.
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It was very good! I loved how it was told from a snowflake's point of view. I especially liked how you did stanza three with the stairs thing. You'd be surprised at how far a little creativity like that can go! lol!
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omg this is so beautiful! It is perfection. And I don't say that lightly. such good rhyme and rhythm, such beautiful language and such a clever stanza where the words descend. I absolutely love this poem it is the best I have read on this site in a long, long time-and should definitely win! Wow it is awesome. OK I'll stop gushing now, sorry!
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I could imagine the snow flake's dance the whole time they were floating down to the ground. This is one of the neatest poems I have ever read, truly. It's 'light and airy' and personally I think it shoule be the winner. It's very peaceful and so soothing to me. I've never been able to witness snow truly falling down because I live in Florida but you've given me a very vivid picture of just how beautiful it must be~ Thank you so much for this wonderful poem! God bless you today! ~Melissa
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This is really lovely! It's so peaceful and soothing, just like a real snowfall. I love the imagery and the flow of this piece, this is a poem that I'll be printing out and saving!
-Chari :-) -
your imagery in this poem was exceptional - i loved it
and i like the use of the ee cummings style stanza - what i liked about it was that it was used once and made its point
nice poem
billy
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