A
single
u n i t y,
a oneness, all
encompassing, sums
everything we now own.
Possessions of no value
defining how we are assessed.
Judged, without the monad of our souls.
Author notes
I have used a nonet reversed (1-9) syllable count in this piece hoping to help the definition in the shape of how much we are spread out (9 syllables in the last line)from the oneness of the beginning (1 letter), symbolic of what we might be if we could just "see" each other.
Shape or concrete poems try to marry a shape with the content or definition of the poem.
It is a definition poem in that each line defines the concept of "one".
nonet: http://members.optushome.com.au/kazoom/poetry/nonet.html
Concrete or shape:
http://members.optushome.com.au/kazoom/poetry/concrete.html
Written June 11th, 2004
A contest entry
- Teach Me! Forms, Forms, Forms :D by Invisible Comfort.
400 points, ended June 5, 2005, 17 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 55 of 55
-
Very interesting.
I’ve used the nonet form before, but what you did, by mixing concrete form and the nonet form was really original and creative. Great job, and best wishes in the contest.
~Laura~
-
I like the amount of thought that goes into the form of this poem
I thought it really did add to the message of this poem which was well written. Thanks for entering and good luck xxxxx
-
i loved the way you described unity. that was cool and i loved the way you typed this! great job and i think you deserve some more applause! also, what you said was so true and the emotion was great!
-
Good job. I like the pattern, simialr to my poem 'Gone', only I used increase syllibal count, 1-10. I liked it. -Brett
-
wow, this is really awesome! congradulations on being able to use all three forms at once. good luck in the contest!
Jen -
I love nonets but you know I have never thought to flip them over... You have done this nicely and it I think having a unique spin will bode you well here...
Susan -
I really like how you did this. It's very unique. Please don't let your talent fade. I could have never done this well on something like this. Maybe I should start learning and taking a few notes from you. Once again, another great piece hun. Lots of love, ~maryj~
-
Creative!
Very creative construction and very clever content in this poem! The shape of the poem adds value to the "message" you've painted so well (and economically) - great job and thought-provoking! -
Excellent
I didn't know what a nonet was until I read this. Nicely done, I had to read it twice to get it. (One of those brain dead days for me)But I got it none the less. -
This is truly masterful. I saw thids contest and really didn't feel up to the task - you have risen to the challenge and exceeded expectations, I am sure. Well done.
Scott
-
That's really awesome. If I hadn't known what to look for I'd never have seen it, but having seen it I'm very impressed, especially the way you were able to connect everything and maintain meaning throughout the piece. The shape of the poem is of interest, too. I like that the shape has meaning, but truly any odd shape would draw my eye. Did this take very long from concept to finished poem?
-
wow awesome poem and the way that you made a small pyramid out of the write was awesome as well keep up the good work
-
Thank you for the pyramid. Oh well, almost a pyramid. I totally like the shape and the words which make the shape. I enjoy reading it. Keep up the good work and God bless you
-
The triangular shape was deliberate etrangere. I had hoped to add depth in meaning using the nonet, the triangle and the definition as one unit, kind of like the spiritual, the physical and the intellectual, comming together as shades of one meaning. Thank you for your very kind comments, much appreciated.
-
Nicely Done
I loved the shape of your poem. That alone makes it one of a kind. The form really shows how creative you are. I don't know if you are trying to go for this, but the subject matter and the shape of the poem connects to Egyptian ideas. I think that others should try to shape their poems because really adds character -
So Interesting. I am awed by your work. The form is fantastic. I don't think I could do this type of poem...it seems to challenging for me. This poem shows a lot of talent.
Great Job
Chrissy
-
This is very good, I like nonets, I just can't do it very well. You on the other hand seem to have talent. Great job on this, I hope you do very well in this contest.
~*Destiny*~ -
This was great.
-
Of course it does Duana. I am thrilled and delighted. Thank you too for your really kind and much appreciated comments.
-
I didn't get it until I realized what contest this was for, and then read it again. yes, it is magnificant. You did an incredible job with this. Not that my applause means anything...but you are getting it!
-
The form is great! Your imaginations is wonderful. Good luck with the contest!
Renee
-
I loved this! The form is awesome! Very nice and creative!
Success in the contest!
Mari
-
The shape of the piece alone drew me in.. I really liked this one. When something is visually interesting, it makes the read that much more enjoyable for me
I loved that you filled this piece with meaning, while making it in the shape of a triangle, and still wrote a nonet - quite fun to write!
nice job overall, and I wish you the best of luck in the contest!
~Christy
Edited on Jun 13, 8:54 p.m. because '*giggles* I forgot to sign it!'. -
This is incredible
You did a great job with the definition poetry here. I was impressed with the triangle for and how you started with a word as simple as "a" but you still managed to define it.I also liked the irnoy in the word unity being divided and how this poem could make sense as a poem that was not of this form but i like that it is definition form, good luck with the contest -
clever,
brilliant,
creative,
masterful indeed.
-
A-1!
Sweet, short, simple, awesome! Love, LadyJ -
i was awed by the style- i'm always looking for new ways to write.i'll try this if, you dont mind,soon
-
ah wow gorgeous! it doesnt seem forced at all... one hardly notices the definitions what with all that meaning! and the shape is just FABULOUS! a great GREAT poem deserving of recognition!! well done!
-
skillful, excellent
I peeped into the contest and thought it was going to be really tough to do it. But this is awesome! Your poem not only defines things to please macandrew (and it certainly ornaments the poem), it also carries a clear message in it.
Very, very well written. I must humbly applaud! -
*bows*
oh wow... this is impressive. not only with all the forms coming together so gracefully, but the message.. makes me think again of things i had not contemplated in awhile. great one. -
Inventive
You have certainly risen to the challenge of macandrew's contest with an excellent definition poem. The amazing attention to the reversed nonet and triangular shape raise this poem even higher in my esteem. I interpret an apostrophe in "everything". Great work!
-
i love this form - extremely creative - using visual as well as verbal and it meant something - continuity of the message was great
excellent read
i liked these lines
everything we now own.
Possessions of no value
defining how we are assessed.
billy -
Thank you so much for your applause and very kind comments Mary6. I am glad you liked it.
-
not only excellent in form, and structure, (also extremely creative) but overflowing with meaning and wonderful insight. i love the 'unity' concept and the statement this piece makes on materialism. it seems society will always determine our worth by how much we own. this work says so much. wonderful, once again!
-
Interesting, good talent putting all the forms together. Short and simple but amazingly deep.. beautiful art.
-rik -
Skillfully mastered form and technique. The message is right on target and makes perfect sense. It certainly is an entertaining, interesting piece of poetry for it says volumes in just nine short lines
-
So true indecisive. Thank you for commenting so favourably on my poem.
-
Short, simple but effective. It shows how materialistic we can be, 'Possessions of no value
defining how we are assessed'
-
We work all of our lives, for what. What riches are we able to take with us. Where did we forget to buy happiness? Can we find it? Stop, don't let the world pass you by. Take the beauty of nature to your grave with you.
-
Aaaaaawwwwwwww You are so kind Freda, Thank you so much for your kind comments. Hugggs
-
unique piece
"poetry form" is as mysterious and graceful as the words that come from the soul...I would think that when a person managed to achieve good results and favorable comments from peers concerning their attempts at various forms ;;;they would feel deep satisfaction and a sense of achievement...in this instance ..you have received it all..thanks for your write ,explanations and definitions..time well spent to help others...I applaud you for this piece and your time...freda
Edited on Jun 11, 6:26 because 'typo'. -
Concrete or shape poems are the same thing Leo2. Triangular poems are shape poems too. It is usually only defined if someone is looking for one that is as near a perfect triangular shape as possible, ( as I found out in a contest once). Perhaps I should have really defined this as a concrete or shape poem , but since I was only thinking in triangles at the time, I classified it as one . lol I'm glad you liked it anyway. I appreciate your kind comments.
Edited on Jun 11, 6:09 because 'typo'. -
I was told these are called concrete poems. You have used the "concrete" to build a pyramid of thought. I agree that material possessions mean little in life.
Regards,
Leo Long -
I'm glad you liked it RhiannonOset. Thank you so much for your very kind comments.
-
An interesting write. I enjoyed it ... will have some things to ponder on this one actually Which always indicates a good poem in my opinion - if I have to think about it a bit it MUST be good
LLL
Rhi -
Thank you jobob. I appreciate your kind comments.
-
A very simple and yet clear poem. It works very well, and the use of the nonet form was very clever and really adds to the meaning of the poem. Well done!
-
Thank you for your very kind comments gunmetal mirage. I had to make it 3 sentences to make sense, and to have the defining words required for the contest in the right places.
-
Nonad refers to the number 9 or any multiples of 9. A nonet usually starts with the 9 syllables in the first line, working downwards, which I didnt' here. Thank you for commenting silica. I will edit this to save further confusion, stating it is a reversed nonet.
Edited on Jun 11, 5:08 because ''. -
A very unique and interesting idea. A work of a genius, hehehe, I loved the triangle layout, it was ELITE. The flow was good providing the reader doesn't read as the triangle suggests it because it wouldn't make any sense at all. The use of broken verses is obviously forced due to the triangle layout but still good. The concepts and themes are moving though I admit I couldn't fully understand it. I loved the way you possessed such marvelous style while fulfilling the contest rules and a triangle layout. Good job and good luck for the contest. God Bless.
-
Nonuple… nonet? I can’t find any reference to the word nonad…
-
I'm just glowing in the wake of your kind comments antichrist. Thank you very much. I appreciate it.
-
Glad you liked it dark search. I appreciate your comments.
-
Beautiful write. It is short and simple, yet it has a great little ring to it. Personally I agree with this poem,I really like the meaning that you put into it. It looks like you put a lot of time in thoroughly planning this piece out and it shows. Overall I can say it was awesome. You have a really cut e style and it seems to match you. Keep up the great work.
-
I enjoyed this piece...a great idea with a wonderful message....how much does anything else matter without holding the oneness of our soul....i will continue to read more of your work...thank you for sharing...and keep up the good work
dark search
Adding your comment:
1 - 55 of 55
15 old applause
