The Path
is paved with white gold dust
on top of the bricks, that are coloured with rust
stepped and terraced like a Chinese rice field
be brave, start the assent and take up thy shield
to the top glowing like the furnace of the fiery sun
hurry, climb up and start to run
what if you are afraid and start to falter?
what about the ties to this earth, like a halter?
climb up and jump into the rivers of gold
electromagnetically charged and the apex will unfold
and take you to the encrypted secrets of the Ark
like the suicidal girl hacking at her arm and trying to find the mark
despair it is easy, despair it is very dark
when the future is even bleaker and very stark
as the blood flows red into the beautiful Gothic park
where statues stare like mortals forever encased in stone
giving you the feeling that you are not alone
buildings and pillars and the white Holy Dove
do mesh together in the universal chain woven fabric of love
as you try and look up to see the heavens above
realising that there are no directions in this vortex to shove
suddenly, you get a vision of a hidden city under the deep blue sea
where angels are mermaids and sailors have drowned free
rising again off Bermuda, like it was encayced and foretold
this Shrangli-La, this El Dorado, this city of pure gold
and you get a glimpse of what you were trying and trying to climb
the gold capped pyramid again, the path and the utterly sublime
in the belief, the belief that drives us to crime
in the name of the Lord and the legions of the saved and the divine
the treasure of which, of which ye shall never find
lost again and again in the Atlantis cobwebs of your mind
Georges
Author notes
An esoteric look at the subconcious. Magick. Title The Path.
Written June 9th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Sensory Perception by Wee Mira.
300 points, ended May 1, 2006, 22 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Give me your best by Teesa.
300 points, ended February 22, 2007, 67 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - It's all about the mystery, life is! by S2ndQueen.
450 points, ended April 20, 2007, 35 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - New beginning by dream5111.
300 points, ended June 27, 2007, 2 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - dreamscape by porphyry.
450 points, ended July 31, 2007, 11 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The EGYPT Contest!!! by NooNiThEWitcH.
463 points, ended August 1, 2008, 20 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 31 of 31
-
WOW!
Very magical and WOW! (LOL)
I love it! This is very new, musical, long but enjoyable. Good job with your wording.
Thank you so much for entering this in my contest. Congrats on the previous Gold and Silver, and keep on writing,
Nooni
-
like the rhymes and especially the last line
powerful stuff! -
"giving you the feeling that you are not alone
buildings and pillars and the white Holy Dove
do mesh together in the universal chain woven fabric of love
and you try and look up to see the heavens above" is my favorite part good luck
-
Vivid detail but seemed to drift aimlessly back and forth between different thoughts. I also did not like the use of holy images and self mutilation in seemingly the same breath. As I have bi polar and I would like u to refer to my authors page for as the reason why.
-
i really like the diction and imagery, but your rhyme scheme is uneven in places and jarrs the reader, or me at least from what is otherwise an amazing poem.
-
This was most interesting! Thanks so much for entering the contest! Blessings and best wishes~
Frog -
Thank you for sharing your thoughts with us.
best of luck in the contest.
Blessings
FrozenTEars -
*Exhales deeply* My dear sweet dude, you... have talent, raw and beautiful, talent for setting out an adventure and turning it into a thousand miracles and sights all rolled into one with the pure and simple intention of making people think, of playing visions within the mind that quite take a persons breath away, truly amazing poem and I am honored to have read such a magical piece...
-
Thanks for entering.
-
i'm just amazed at how well you write. i'm adding you to my favorites. beautiful piece, you stun me.
-
this is really good, the descriptions are amazing. i love that it doesnt have a fixed rhyming sceme, it adds to the poem
xxxxx
Kymm xxxxx
-
Lovely write, very descriptive of the journey through life and death. Good luck in the contest.
-
wow I felt as if I was an ant on the surface of a rare and bejeweled sarchophagus of an ancient pharoah, and the travels and journeys across the face of such precious metal left me wishing i was an uncle with an antique store instead....LOL~~~~~~~~Artis
-
Tres bien!
Very good! Your flow was almost flawless. You were very descriptive and took the reader where you wanted them to go. You conveyed your feelings well. Keep up the good work.
God bless you,
~~~~~Crosseyed387
~~~
-
very nice.....u took readers with u thru your mind as they read it, keep up the good work.
-
great job beautiful flow and writing descriptive
-
Your writes always intrigue me....however none so more then this one.....i would enjoy asking you a few questions in reference to your write here....but alas this medium is bad at the best of times.....though if you wouldn't mind i would still ask.....anyways well done and keep up the great work
dark search -
Lovely. I lijed the journey this write took me. Very well done.
-Cat*~.. -
"Alantis cobwebs of your mind" wow, this write has so much imagery and feeling. Great write, poet.
-
I rolled the lucky seven, a moment in luck. Thanks for the comments and encouragement.
Georges -
You are on a roll. I like that. This one too is a gorgeous piece. Keep up the great work and thank you for sharing this wonderful piece.
-
Thanks, billydavidson for your appreciated comments.
Georges -
Thanks for your comments. I hope Edgar would like the poem and encayced.
Thanks again
Georges -
extremely well written - like a walk through for an rpg game of life. i really enjoyed it
excellent read -
The white gold dust is an amazing power that we may rediscover even now. Thank you for your comments.
Georges -
Thanks again, for your comments on my poem The Path. It is nice to get feedback from the members.
georges -
Very descriptive, the ancient cities of imagined wealth conjured up the visions of emotions you wanted, good job.
-
way especially designed for a particular use of a path virtue of powers of the gold dust.
clever poem
-
Once again, a mental journey from the bottom to the top.
You have many allusions with which I am not familiar, but I think Edgar would be pleased with encayced. I have heard of the charged gold dust and its amazing powers; that would be interesting to see recreated. However, it is probably best that it is lost, since it is likely to fall into the wrong hands.
I got lost after Bermuda in the first reading, I'm not sure when to interpret a line end as a full stop.
This is a convoluted and intelligent poem.
-
Thank you for the time spent reading and commenting. I appreciate your kindness and time.
Georges -
this was a very interesting read and well written too. I enjoyed reading this, thank you.
best wishes,
O
Adding your comment:
1 - 31 of 31
4 old applause
