we were forever
we always said that
but we were so wrong
forever is still happening
without you
they were so hard,
those months after you left
I felt so beaten
and was positive
that I would never love again
but the days finally
quit being so bleak
I can't put my finger on when,
but they did
each day doesn't seem
so dire
and I can laugh
sincerely
and I may not have fallen in love again
yet
but I know that I will someday
I am just fine with being alone
until I meet the next one
that will be forever
Author notes
Written June 8th, 2004
honorable mention before they got trophies in this contest: http://allpoetry.com/contest/633231
In a list
A contest entry
- Tired of HM's (IX) by PatheticKt.
300 points, ended August 22, 2008, 6 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 51 of 51
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Wow, I like the title and the words written here- heartbreaking yet beautiful
I like the emotion felt by the persona since it sounded real and can let the reader feel it, too in a 'nodding head' way, you know?
Only thing I'm not much into is the second stanza: it's not left out, just a bit cliche but hey, it supported the other lines to be grasped by the reader so I'll let that slide.
Nothing else to say, this is a really lovely poem
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I can really feel your heart at work in this wonderful poem.I enjoyed reading this.Thank you for taking the time to try and turn your green into a pretty golden cup. Good luck at judging, Cathy.
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Very good job in this emotional and moment captured piece.
Thanks so much for participating in my contest. I wish you all the best. I encourage you to keep on writing my friend.
>>>VIRGOAN -
"forever is still happening
without you" I like this line a lot. Thanks for entering.
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I remember when I first read this poem... I loved it, and so I bookmarked it. And I was going through my bookmarks today and I decided to read this one again. Only now, I know what it feels like. I cannot believe how much this sounds like me. I have just lost the person that I used to talk about forever with. And I know now that I will be okay, even without him... This poem is amazing... God Bless.
-Tawney -
we were forever
we always said that
but we were so wrong
forever is still happening
without you
That right there is my favoriet part. I love it, and so true. Many guys told me we would be together forever, but yet we only lasted a few months. I loved this, good work -
Great write! Best of luck in the contest!
Wow, this is very good. It was very beautifully written. I must admit this was amazing. You definately did a great job with this. Keep up the great work!!!! Best of luck to you in the contest!!!!!
---BOE--- -
this poem is very well written and i can really relate to this one thank you for sharing it with us you really have a gift and can write many beautiful poems
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This is very sweetly written..another of yours that I can relate..I like the way you ended it..with a little hope..something to look forward to..excellent as always..thank you for sharing..and also thank you for the comment on my written thoughts..I appreciate it...
~~Kristy -
amazing!
OMG this made me cry, it's SO beautiful! This is a masterpiece! I read it twice.. first reading it from a 'normal' (whatever that is) perspective then from what i would think if i lost my boyfriend.... and it's SUCH a beautiful poem hun!!! It takes so much courage and strength to be that strong, I could never ever do it!
Excellent job!
Love
Amy -
Congratulations! You are over the hump! Enjoy being alone for a while... play the field. That is what I was doing when I found my husband.
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Well, you know I always love your work, and this one is no exception. Your words are simple but carry so much weight... Your work always forces me to think. I love the lines "but we were so wrong/ forever is still happening/ without you". Thanks for your entry & goodluck
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beautifully written,Saddie23
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I thought I would add to the applause.
Some of your poems are just amazing, and this is deffinitly one of them. So simple, so simply put but...something I know I for one can relate to in every word.
Never stop writing. I'll always read your great shtuff
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Bravo!
very well done! -
so simply the truth....a life lesson learned the real way. your poem is so pratical and gives an important teaching, that relatiohships are a process. we live and learn through them, and must continue to have paitence all the while.
I really enjoyed your down to earth style and approach to this subject. great work. -
This is soo wonderful.I loved this soo much and i feel the same way with my Ben even though i'm trying to get him out of my head.It's useless but i love this song it's so beautiful.My mom's ex and her broke up yeah i think i told you why if not i will later in private but they got back together and made her listen to it on a countdown and i was in there and fell in love with this song.You related to it so awesome it was amazing.You made me want to cry.Whaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh.LOL.Wonderful job as usual.
Mandi
Keep writing you are so talented. -
Wow that was really good. Bravo! It was great. How do you just spit out poems everyday? Jeez.
You are so good! -
This is a wonderful spin. Great writing. I enjoy reading it. Keep up with the talent. You have a wonderful night and God bless you too
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*bows*
this is beautiful! there's nothing quite like the knowledge that each hardship will have an end, and each trial is something you are equal to. each step towards the future is filled with growing and changing and adjusting and realizing. this is wonderful.
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inspirational :)
Oh this is so opposite of what I'm writing its refreshing. For me it always seemed like pain everyday...until one morning I wake up and feel better...less weighted down and the world is sunnyer. This starts out strong and ends strong. A lovely write
Susan
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Wow, this is great. It's always great to read one of these with the heartbroken person healing. It does take time, but it does happen and you showed that in this. Great job, loved it.
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wow this was really good and i dont know what else to say just that was awesome and u could feel ur pain!! great write
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Great poem! I love the line 'I can't put my finger on when' - it decribes it so well!
'I am just fine with being alone
Until I meet the next one
That will be forever'
These lines are great! -
I know I'll love again
Baby until then I'll have the blues
But for now I am
Drowning my sorrows in booze.
I'm sure you will fall in love again. It's inevitable. The heart craves it.
Regards,
Leo Long -
Oh I know the feeling... This was a great write and I'm glad you wrote it. It shows there is "life after death" so to speak hehe. Brilliant. =)
-Serenity- -
Another great poem whisper..your so talented..your poems just flow so natural..Sorry to hear that this is kinda a personal write..Hope your love turns around for the better..Great poem..it is truly wonderful..Best of luck in the contest
Much love
Bambie -
This is so true I have been there my self. I have finaly moved on but he still lingers there can't seem to make him go for good he will always have a place in my heart but forever didn't last the way I thought it would good write keep it up
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this is so sad I hope you find that person that will be forever
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what a great positive write...i hope that whomever you wrote this from finds some inspiration because i know i have...excellent job my friend keep it up, and good luck in the contest
take it easy
-Stac- -
So beautiful. This was just wonderful. You showed so much beauty here it started off sad then showed hope. You did an awesome job. I loved this part
"and I may not have fallen in love again
yet
but I know that I will someday
I am just fine with being alone
until I meet the next one
that will be forever"
Awesome. I look forward to reading more from you
Keep up the great work!
Fairwell dear
*Fly On Little Wing*
-Rain Marie-
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Wow.. this is very great.. I'm almost speechless(but I'm not lol, this is a good poem, so I must comment) I loved it. I'm glad you got over it though, because a lot of people dwell on breakups long after it is needed. That sounded mean.. I'm not mean lol, but some people do, just being honest. I know I've done it before, so I don't care lol.. well, I probably don't make any sense.. oh well. Good poem, good luck in the contest! Keep writing!!
Conni
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I know how you feel when you wrote this poem. I felt this way about my b/f of 8 months after he broke up with me. It took me a long time to move on a get over what had happened and what we had shared. I sincerly think you did a good job. I hope everything for you gets better! Good luck with everything. Keep writing and I'll keep reading!
Much love,
Sarah a.k.a DeadlyKisses *smoochies* -
time heals most wounds. a new lover heals the others.
seriously, what you say in this poem is how it really is. you don't know how, but someway or another you learn to live with being alone until you heal. and then life goes on again... sometimes even better than before.
a very touching poem.
~travis
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Ah, I loved this poem. It's so true, you think that the person you're with is gonna be with you forever, then you break up, and go through hell. And if someone else comes along, that person becomes your next "forever". I really loved the stanzas, "but the days finally
quit being so bleak
I can't put my finger on when,
but they did
each day doesn't seem
so dire
and I can laugh
sincerely
and I may not have fallen in love again
yet
but I know that I will someday
I am just fine with being alone
until I meet the next one
that will be forever"
The part about the days not looking so bleak, and not being able to put a finger on when they stopped looking that way is great, such an awesome way to put it. I loved this poem. Good luck in the contest, muchas amor, Mandy
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i have come to realize what ever is for, it is a mark in time to which one or two aspire, but seldom reach, but it isthe noble effort of promising to try than makes it all worth while, I know that forever is not feasible ...we are only granted 7O some odd years if we are lucky, and the afterlife is a mystery, yet still for the right soul i would wait forever or love them forever even if it is omly my ladst week of life.....Artis
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the no rhyming is a plus in my reading eyes,i like the freer way it lets the reader interpet the peice.good job
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Great
I like this alot, I can really relate to it. Thankyou! -
3 cheers for whisper! this was a great poem. I, too, suffered from a terrible heartbrake 2 months ago and am still getting used to not being with him. This poem helped alot. Good luck in the contest!
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love this i love when people move on and end up okay
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Awk, this was so cute. It made me smile, remembering all my own past experiences. Great Poem ^_^ ..Moo..
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tears falling - its sad - i've been there for sure
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Oh yes, I felt this way before. It's terrible to have these feelings. I hope you are okay, not sure if this is fictional or not. Good luck in this contest.
~*Destiny*~ -
Oh, I forgot one thing ----- GOOD FOR YOU FOR MOVING ON!!! Be strong
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nicely done. i'm finding it hard since the guy i like suddenly decided we were to be no longer, without explanation. your poem is inspiring to me as i know while i feel bad now, i will love again. good luck in the contest
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I like the hope expressed in this poem. The process of healing is a strange and difficult one - and you expressed it beautifully. I must say you have quite a gift with words, especially with sentence structure. I liked how you cut the sentences up into different lines - it made it a little more impactful. Great poem.
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Thats why I find it rather hard to let people close. Just stick them walls up and be done with it... Silly really. A good job done mate
Natalia -
Great
awww VERY nice poem. It has a nice flow to it with out ryhming...I wish I could write poems with no ryhming. hmm o well Soon I may but as for now I will not. tata -rachel lynn- -
great write
i love this... it's exactly how i feel... i still don't know how i got over him.. but i just made myself and i'm not ready to love again.. but i'm sure that i will and that thought is comforting.. although the pain of losing him is still there.. i wrote something about him saying "always and forever" so.. i really associated with your thought of finding another forever.. -
you did a very nice job on this one.
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Ahhh so true isnt it. I know exactly what you mean in your comments i dont know how i recovered from my heart breaks all i know is that i did because of the grace of Jesus and my faith in Him and the next time i fall in love which i am already well on the road to it will be forever for the next few months or year and then it will fade. Untill i meet that finer and final one other than Jesus that is.
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