**
A Shau Valley
RVN
1965 - 1970
Washington, DC 1996
RIP
Memorial Day November 11, 2002
****
Hi Mom. How'm I doing?
Can you see me - Have you been watching?
I feel you in my space as much as in my memories.
You've both been gone so long I just want to
wish you a wonderful Anniversary.
I miss you both and I hope you are able to kiss
one another at Midnight O'Clock in Heaven.
Mom. Just some slight corrections to
the life lessons, You gave me as a boy ...
if I may.
Tell Dad - There is far more to life than
being French, Loving as many women as possible,
and eating everything with cream sauce and strawberries.
but not much.
Mom.
yes, hard work and perserverance will get you
a good job, a nice wife and lots of little kids,
but I'm sorry. I've found that there are times when
a young man just doesn't want some of those things.
Now don't go cry. Maybe some day.
My wounds have all healed - at least the visible ones
from my own jungles that Dad told me weren't quite as
bad as some other ones like Iwo Jima and Guadalcanal.
He must have been wrong 'cause I don't see how there
could be anything worse.
The other wound - the one nobody can see - the one that
often makes me cry to join you both, is being tended to.
They tell me it takes a long time to become acclimated to
the real World again. What made everything change so much
while I was away?
I have tried so hard to be a good boy and a better man,
but I have failed so many times - I hope you can understand.
Highs were easy to get over there Mom. I won't lie.
Killing became like second nature - But only at times. Honest Mom, I never really liked it.
The Priests and Rabbis told us it was alright 'cause
we were on God's side.
I don't know how but I would like to visit the families
of the soldiers who's lives I took,
and tell them how sad I am because of it,
and that if it made them feel better,
how much I have suffered for so very long.
Tell Dad I went and became a Cop,
(Once the Pain-Killers, the Booze and the Acupulco Gold
Washed out of my system and slid back into the gutter).
Tell him he might even be proud of me.
Made some Stars and Bars, too. Just some dumb medals.
Wish I could show you but, well, I sorta had to sell them.
Went to The Black Wall in D.C. where I cried a lot.
Didn't think I'd like it Mom,
from what they had told me,
but it all makes sense when you first come up on it.
A long dark line of foot soldiers humpin' up to nowhere.
My tears, (Tell Pops I couldn't help it),
just poured out of me. I couldn't stop.
So many names. So many didn't make it.
I remembered quite a few Mom. Even recall tying some
string and tags around their toes - If there were any left.
Now I'm writing some stuff about me and life. Yep.
I'm a bona-fide Writer.
Almost like my letters home. Sure hope you got them?
I think I said I was 'having fun' so you wouldn't worry.
But Mom. It wasn't much fun at all.
Actually, I can't talk about it much yet but I'm trying.
And because of you both,
my Daddy and my wonderful Mom,
I have loved and I am loved.
So, How am I doing?
****
Author notes
For my deceased Parents
Jean Marcel and Elinor Elizabeth ...
Revised and reposted from last year ...
Because we must always remember that there are people out there protecting our freedom every day - Not just once in a while - or in a war - But every single day.
*It is because Humanity has never known where it was going that it has never been able to find it's way.
Wilde
Written May 7th, 2002
In a list
Comments
1 - 14 of 14
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Hi Sag,
My sister Catz sent me here and am so glad she did. This is a heart wrenching pouring out of your soul's thoughts and feelings as I have ever read on this site...and like all the others I cried while reading it.
I went to see the "moving wall" when it visited Chicago back when they had the first parade to honor the soldiers from the Vietnam war...In my life I have never felt such emotion as I did that day watching the soldiers,listening to the bugler play taps, wanting to hug each and every one and tell them how sorry I was that our country dishonored them so... I know it is many years late but thank you for surviving all you have and I know your parents must have been so very proud of you..
I am glad to feel you have made a good life since then...many hugs to you
Darlene Sperber
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I keep coming back here to read this... so many times. I don't always leave a comment but I never forget this wonderful, heartfelt poem, Sag. I bet there's others who peek at this over and over again, too... how could they stay away.
take care and God bless you
Dee
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I'm back... This poem has been on my favorites list since the first time I read it more than three years ago...almost 3 and a half... I see you've revised it some, still a wonderful poem
And still brings tears to my eyes.
baraka bashad
Love and
Dee
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Just me... again. Every once in awhile I just have to come read this again, Sag. It warms my heart and still makes me cry, but that's okay... we all need a good eyewashing now and then.
Take care
baraka bashad
Luv and {{{HUGS}}}
Dee
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I am sure I have never read a more touching or deeply defining piece. 3 1/2 tours?
Maddie
Edited on Mar 28, 1:46 p.m. because ''. -
don't touch it!
I got to thinking about this poem when I read your comment from earlier tonight on my author page. So I came to read it again. And it made me cry again and think about how proud of you your parents must be, still watchng from above. I sincerely hope your life has been a good one after all you've been through.
And I still say, if you were my son I'd be a very proud mother. As it is, I'm proud to at least know you through your writing.
Love and {{{HUGS}}}
Dee -
excellent
God, Sag, :***(
This is so very beautiful and so very sad all rolled into one and I am sitting here with tears....Your words, that picture, just did that to me.
What a wonderful person you are. Not perfect, but who among us is and oh we all have our hidden wounds don't we???;(
But this, is written with such love and tenderness, your heart displayed and I, I don't know what to say except......
Live, love, give, share and live love give and share some more...
Take care of you first and foremost, you are a special human being...
{This touched me so much I am going before my keyboard is flooded...)
Big hugs...~~ Ce
Edited by WisperingSkyz on right now because ':('. -
neutral
Your doing just fine, I can assure you ..you made your parents Proud..As i read this i received a call that my Favorite Aunt died..so i'm crying blindly for my aunt and for you.My Heart is breaking...God will mend it again. Bless You -
excellent
Bless your heart. This is so touching. I assure you that you are doing quite well and exceed your own expectations for yourself without even realizing it. Yes, they are proud of who you are, that I am certain of. :) -
neutral
this is just gorgeous, sag.
very touching in so many ways.
if only we could know how we measure up in the eyes of our lost loved ones. -
don't touch it!
Nothing I can add...a heartfelt write my friend...Eddy -
excellent
tears washing over keyboard, heart aching praying the row we hoe,Huh? -
don't touch it!
Oh my gosh, this is awesome! I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes. And your mother and father must be very proud of you as they watch you from above. If you were my son I'd be answering your question, 'you're doing just fine, son, we're both proud of your progress and what's in your heart'
{{{HUGS}}}
Dee -
excellent
so many emotions...
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