sunny morning ~
bare feet on cool grass
tread on my shadow
Author notes
Thanks to Mari (MariGoes), who answered my plea for help to trim my haiku when my sleepy brain wouldn't work 
NOTE: Authorative column on haiku by haikumonk: allpoetry.com/Column/423262
[don't count, just breathe ]
Written June 8th, 2004
In a list
Comments
1 - 27 of 27
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I loved the aha moment then. The imagery in this haiku is really stunning. You have a gift for writing things about nature and poetry then making it into something we can all take some kind of personal intake on it.
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Here I come again with an applaud
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well done
This is quite nice. You have included nature but the poem actually gives the reader the memory of the sensation you present. -
Ah I remember this one, still has the same warm effect
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a lovely piece ... so very nicely done ... >>> GINA
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great haiku, i loved it, it reminds me of summer outside on lying on the grass with my friends, well done on a great write, keep on writing xxx
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Thank you for the great comment, leander!
~ G
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Mari is in fact such a sweetheart
she has helped me too for a few times (but it wasn't because my mind wouldn't work, I'm just a moron 
)
Anyways, this is a wonderfully written haiku, You surely managed to bring along this message of you feet on your own shadow here
Leander -
Thanks! Ah, that's why I don't use the random selection provided by the "retun the favor" button. If you check out my author page, you'll find I have different categories grouped in my Collection Lists. But the 5-7-5 "rule" has long been debunked as inappropriate in English (English syllables are longer than Japanese). Haikumonk (Don Baird), who teaches haiku on AP, is constantly telling people to go read his column on the subject. He left an approving comment on this one earlier, by the way.
~G
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When I hit the "return the favor" button, I never know what the computer is going to place on my screen. You are into Haiku? Not much of a haiku writer myself but I thought Haiku had a rigid rule of 3 lines with 5-7-5 syllables. Don't remember, too long ago, but this has a soft visual message, neat!
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nicely done
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Very nice haiku,
And I agree Mari is APs sweety.
Thanks for the entry
FifthDove -
Thank so much for your comment and applause, Andrew
And yes, Mari is a gem!
~ G
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Lovely work - you have a true talent for the form. This reminded me of when I used to go to church, and rather than wearing my dress shoes, I would carry them, so I would have to walk through a small patch of grass barefoot to reach my car. lol. dress shoes are such a discomfort. Anyway - I enjoyed this
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Nicely done, shadows are such a great image to play with.
A very pleasent scene and well written.
Andrew
(Mari is a gem isn't she) -
Hey I commented on this before I knew what haiku was, I think, and before I knew you. I loved this one. It really did bring back wonderful memories. It was a pleasure to read again!
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Excellent
Hi Gennelle:
Another lovely Ku. Thank you for bring it to us.
Bill -
Thank you for your great comment and applause, Tom!
~ G
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excellent >> Haiku
Wonderful !!!! summer spears of heat coming soon ,,enjoy the morning ~~~breeze ~~~ -
Thanks Don Your approval means a lot!
~ G
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Yes... first rate. Nice work.
Don -
Aha! Then that is called Synchronicity, because it has meaning!
~ G
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You are welcome G! I think the inspiration came because I stepped on cool grass on this sunny (and very warm!!) morning. Quite a coincidence
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Oh, thank you Mari! Great suggestions! "ING" words are not 'forbidden', you know (when used right) But, yes, I think I can trim it just right now...thanks to your clever brain (mine is half-asleep).
Sunny morning
Bare feet on cool grass
step on my shadow
Thanks Mari, I owe you one!
~ G
Edited on Jun 08, 4:09 because 'sleepy typos'. -
sorry have no suggestions. I like it! But it will be interesting to see what else you come up with.
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oh this is so nice. This speasks for all age grousp, but it especially speaks to me as a mother, and as my own child...bringing me back to those wonderful carefree days. The background was the percet touch to this as well. It wouldn't have provoked the same reaction I don't think without such a lovely picture of a spring day- which you describe perfectly!
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sunny morning
barefoot on cool grass
steps on my shadow
Just an idea. If you write sunny you may skip the warm...steps replaces stepping (ING word)...not sure about the word MY though.
Anyway, your haiku is really great! I like the picture painted on it, very refreshing!
A warm sunny hug,
Mari
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