After buggering Greggory Mathers
And decrypting the Lesser and Greater Key
I put my pants back on, grabbed my wand
(rainbow) because, I bottom thoroughly.
I trudged through sleet just to meet
The reclusive Mr. Crowley, but he had
taste, too much to waste, on the New
Age peristalsis coiled inside o' me.
I bumped into Rasputin, by the time
I was tootin', but he merely twirled at his
beard. At this point I was sure that I had
to cure this stench that I'd come to fear.
So I hunkered on down, in chalk symbol
with frown, and chanted 'till sweat poured
from my face. I spoke in Mad Arab, begged
my magical scarab, to spare my rear orifice.
Twas at the stroke of midnight that I realized
my plight was more than this Wiccan could
bare. When out burst a demonic flotilla, known
as Turdzilla; as my rectum let loose with a tear.
Author notes
Written June 7th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- One for the Pagans... by Veshengri.
300 points, ended June 13, 2004, 5 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 9 of 9
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Is Mr. Crowley who I think he is? As in, A.J. Crowley? Or not? Who cares anyway...the poem's literally full of shite. I'm still due for a loong session in the can, but I've run out of magazines. All I have are these old college books of poetry...tsk, tsk.
This just anted up the sick-o-level of this site for me. Good thing it's still in the quality side of the mire, else I'd dump this site entirely. I say, sir, Goode Show! Goode Show! -
LMAO OMG. That's great. Among the same topic as my "Liquid Fun" But I found this far more entertaining. I'm quite glad I found you. You show great talent. (Especially for rhyming and rythm) Good luck with the contest and you definately have me comming back for more. Great Job on such a strange topic.
*~*Queefie -
lol, it sounded kind of painful, your tushy poor thing, well at least your hemroids were not acting up eh?
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hehehe....majestic.
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little cocoa butter will stop scarring....not that I would know
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You are cheekier than me honeybun.. heheeheheh ROFL.. hilarious.. ouch.. ewww.. ouch.. hahahahhaah lolololol
All things reiki-ed out then..
~GILL~xxx -
I don't know if this is necessarily an invocation to a pagan diety, but it IS hilarious.
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cool. Am I wrong to assume that you're a Tool-head?? If it's aleister crowley you speak of than I must think so.. I don't know... that was my first thought. I really liked the poem, maybe I need some more knowledge of all these characters you're mentioning to understand it better.
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Hmm..hehe. I'm not sure if I should laugh or cry.
Forgive me, I'm torn!
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