a life of pain
and mistaken thoughts
a few sliced veins
a kid mistaught
a kid’s mistrust
his soul in tatters
to his wrist this razor was thrust
his dreams shattered
a life of lies
a kid misunderstood
his unheard cries
wanting nothing but to cause some good
sitting alone
thinking of his past
his past unknown
for this day will be his last
wanting only for the pain to be gone
suicide is the only way he knows how
so he knows this dawn
it will be over now
he grabs his blade
holds it to his wrist
his life betrayed
longing to feel its final kiss
he screams
blood starts to gush
it was just like in his dreams
such a rush
he smiles knowing
his pain is over now
his blood flowing
it was the only way he knew how
Author notes
Written June 6th, 2004
A contest entry
- Dark and Cutting poems by Shadow of a Doubt.
300 points, ended October 21, 2005, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - SuIcIdE & rApE by XCrUeL iNtEnTiOnSX.
800 points, ended April 13, 2007, 53 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Make Me Feel Dark by Xsafety glassX.
375 points, ended April 29, 2007, 59 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Dark Poetry. by Xgeekdreamgonewrong.
375 points, ended May 6, 2007, 71 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 5 Options...enter...now...or suffer! {Prewrites now allowed!} by vampireblood.
430 points, ended April 30, 2007, 30 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - sadness and darkness and anything society dosent like. by Emo Cowboy14.
1200 points, ended June 8, 2007, 40 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 18 of 18
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I really like this poem, I think it was very well writen and it really expresses the way i fell!
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wow. its asome. i realy love it. its soo like me. and my way of life. thanks so much for entering.
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Cutting and Suicide
Well done
I hate reading poems that basicly tell me how to die
The bore me
Your's is wonderful.
Muchos Love for it!
G/L
~Jess -
FINALLY!! SOME EMO POEMS!!!
this wuz like...AWESOME!! i luv it!! perfect rhyming to make a song...this is awesome!!
he grabs his blade
holds it to his wrist
his life betrayed
longing to feel its final kiss
i luv that part!! just soo AWESOME!! -
Good Write
Thanks for entering my contest, good luck -
Superb! this is a write like not many others.... now this was vivid! I mean you capture the moment, and the emotions like not many others can do, or even do for that matter. This was profoundly beautiful, and you have a huge talent. And like you said at some point all this will get better....least thats what I am told. Wonderful poem.
~Tina -
AMAZING!! you have such amazing talent and you put so much of your emotions in your poems and it always comes through to the reader and give them a great deal of imagery as well as emotion. it is sad that you should feel this way at such a young age. i am not one of those people that tells you things will get better because i cant say that feeling the way i do most of the time. but i really do hope they get better for you in the future
keep up the great work and stay strong
~crystal -
sweet!!
aww....this is an awesome poem. Sad, moving, makes me want to give you a big hug . Everything is gonna be alright..there's a song or something like that, ya know what I'm talking about. Anyways, Dave, this was an awesome poem. It made me cringe, when I was thinking about this guy sitting there, preparing himself to die, and accept death at the cut of his wrist..ack..awesome job though. It was a sweet poem!
~Liz -
*CLAP . . . CLAP . . . CLAP* Fantastic! This poem sent a wave of hot and cold down my body. (Not to mention the tear falling from my right eye!) That's what it's all about emotion, and you capture it so well. Beautiful!!!
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wow. that's great I love the rhythym. slightly different from some of your others and very powerful and moving. this was awesome. keep up the awesome writing. *hugs*
ja ne
Fea -
that was such a good poem...ok now u are going to my favs list
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Lord, that was depressing. Made me want to get on my knees and cry to God. lol But the writing was awesome! I wish I could get something to rhyme. I'm just here for reading. lol Anyways, awesome poem. Keep it up!
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its not a forshadowing poem so dont worrie bout me...lol...thatnxe for ur comment...XxX~~~anguish~~~XxX
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Great
wow great write as always i loved it and lets hope that isnt hoe it will end for you. Nice job though -
Hey! I really liked it , reminds me of a few suicide poems I have wrote, the rhyming was great!!! I am surprised you haven't got attacked by the ppl that want to "sanitify" the site and bash the suicide poems, I really like this poem unless it is a foreshadowing poem then I would be really unhappy with it, but I think you did a nice job capturing the feelings of a boy that commits suicide.*sighs b/c all ppl seem to be unhappy these days including myself* I can't wait to read more from you!!! You have great talent!!
Much Loves
KLA!
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beautiful... maybe sumday it will end this way. But not right now, at least not for me. I love how this whole thing flowed and both sets of every other line rhymed...
You are a really good poet.. GREAT poet! keep it up and hold on to life.. it wont always be the way it is. ~T.I.F.~ -
*sighs* one day....one day....anyways, great poem! i really loved it! it was full of emotion and yea, i know what you're talking about. don't i always...i hate that you had to go through this....i wish there was something i could do. but just remember, i'm here for you if you need anything. love ya lots!
~~Marlana
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o my gosh this poem was great!!! i felt all of it liek it was my life.. it kinda sounds like it is exactly about me. except im a girl. if u are strugglinga nd need help come and talk to me. i know how hard it is to know about knives and that they are our "best friends" u have helped me so in return im going to try my best to help u. this poem was great..
jenn
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