sitting here
reflecting
lost in my own existence
and not looking
to find my escape out
well-meaning wishes
fall on deaf ears
I do not want help
I turn my back on the light
the warmth overpowers me,
bringing me to my knees
it is begging me
to allow it in
but I am strong
and I refuse
I choose to never get up,
to remain here,
fetal positioned
until I return to the earth
Author notes
pic is "Away From The Light" by hfloh
depression does this to people. and when i looked at your pic, what i thought was, that girl looks so sad that she may never rise from that spot, turning away any helping hand. thank you for the inspiration for this poem.
Gold in hfloh's contest allpoetry.com/poem/646393
Written June 6th, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- *BEST CONTEST EVER! poems/stories* by Jetsabel.
300 points, ended June 10, 2004, 14 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 15 of 15
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ah the darkness takes control sometimes, all we can do is curl up and wait for time to move along its course, a good poem
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A victory well earned
Great write. It always hurts me personally when a friend needs helps and refuses it. I am sure I have made others feel this way as well, refusing to accept or get help. Sometimes, it seems like it's not even worth the trouble, even though it most definately is. Your poem really captured the feeling of the picture, I got the same impression you did when I saw it. Good write, and congratulations on taking the gold. -
awesome
this was a beautiful piece of work...the poem totally depicts exactly what the pic. is all about. i can feel your words and feel them even more as i watch the pic. you have a great talent...congrats to u...it was very well deserved indeed
-kay- -
Just dropping by to say congrats for snagging the gold, this piece definitely deserved it.
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Wonderful piece, you really captured the feelings of depression perfecty. I like your choice of words, especially "until I return to the earth". Exellently done, and congratulations on the glod! Very well deserved.
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nothing to say but incredible, amazing, wonderful, fantastic poem
~colleen~ -
Wow whisper, very insightful poem. Its like the poem was written exactly for that particular picture. A very sad write and feels so truthful. Good luck!
peace and love
Susan
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you tie the photo and a poem together as though they were created for each other. that's impressive. I can read your words and almost imagine the thoughts coming from the girl in the picture.
the sad part about depression, or any emotional or psychological problem, is that as long as the person suffering the problem says "leave me alone; I don't want help" ...there isn't anything anyone can do. that is the sadness in this poem. you capture that tragedy.
excellent poem. you should get a trophy for this.
~travis
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This captures the picture perfectly. The words flow smoothly.
"I turn my back on the light
the warmth overpowers me,
bringing me to my knees"
~ShatteredIce~ -
This was such a well written piece, and it relfects a lot of how I feel. Sometimes, I just get so depressed and I don't even have the energy nor do I care enough to accept whatever help is offered me, if any. I really liked the emphasis placed on the word 'refuse,' because I think in that moment a lot about this girl is revealed and the many levels on which she has been hurt. I loved the flow this had, the kind of simplistic, and yet still intense way this was written. This was a really good piece, best of luck in the contest.
Renae. -
oh wow, just when i think i can't be amazed you simple leave me sitting in awe. i love your poems so much the are outstanding, i wish i could write as good as you, WOW
-L8eR-
~EmmA~ -
that was awesome. totally amazing. you definitly captured very much how it feels to be depressed. it really says it perfectly. awesome job!
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That was really deep. I think that it was an excellent write but give into the light it is the best thing ever.
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:D great great great!!!
wow, seriously thats all i can say this poem was astounding, its like the picture was taken for the photo i loved the last line how, im guessing, you said until i die, until i return to the earth is a WAY better way, its little things like that that make poems great, i loved the form too, i dont know what that might be but the look of the poem is great, and the flow was perfect lol i read your comment, it made the pic seem so much more deep, actually thats me cousin in the pic and shes one of the happiest ppl youd ever meet, shes just a really good model all i told her was, go over there and look sad and shit, and she just did, o course the whole time i was bugging her not to get my dress dirty but... anyways this pic was all really thanks to her but ok enough bout that, your poem was great, i loved it -
wow this is so sad and beautiful at the same time... I have been through tough times where I have been here, felt this feeling, and you captured it very well. I think the picture really goes with the poem well, and it creates a powerful image of the damage depression can do. Thank you for sharing this piece, keep up the good work!
~Autumn
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