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The Sun

You come at morning
To brighten up my days but
You leave me by night.

Author notes


Written June 5th, 2004

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

1 - 5 of 5
  • princessangel
    June 13, 2004
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    thanx for your comment...I as well hope you and whoever you're with right now, keep it goin and goin good!


  • Almighty Aphrodite gold member
    June 8, 2004
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    The sun does creep in by day, spilling its light upon us all, but abandon us by night and allow his sister the moon to take over. I don't like haiku much, but this one is exceptional, and about one of my favorite subjects. I like the image you painted, making the sun seem like a shadow. Brilliant work!

    Many blessings,

    Raven Aurora

  • Sollins
    June 5, 2004
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    this is a cool poem. if it didn't have a title i would have thought you were talking about a person. Very good write.
    Edited on Jun 12, 1:29 because ''.


  • heather 802
    June 5, 2004
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    I like this, well written haiku. Just wanted to point out haiku's don't have to follow the 5 7 5 syllable count, that's a misunderstanding. I really enjoyed this. Take care, Heather x

  • ashleynichole
    June 5, 2004
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    Good poem I enjoyed it.

1 - 5 of 5