Telephone rings
your commander called
no warning pack up
your orders are in..
I always dreaded
those telephone rings ..
A wife's nightmare
not knowing what moment
he would have to leave..
I'm so proud of you honey
fighting for your country
a better life for all..
A navy man, my man,
willing to give his all..
We're off to the airport now
you are going over seas..
I say a prayer to my self
Dear Lord return my man to me..
We hugged and kissed
tears we both did cry
Latching on to every second
till we had to say goodbye..
I love you honey
as we both did part
a wave to each other good bye..
I watched the plane
take up to the sky
Threw a kiss to my soldier
The love of my life..
I rushed home waiting
hour after hour
for the telephone to ring..
The telephone rings..I'm filled with joy
just the sound
of hearing your voice..
It was not you on the other end
your commander
started to talk..
I began to tremble and shake
I felt my life crumbling
as he began to say..
I am sorry.. to inform you
your husbands flight went down
everyone has perished..
There were no survivors
I am so sorry for your loss..
You will be presented with a flag
for his dedication
He has our highest honors..
My husband, a father
gone forever,
a dedicated Military man..
I sleep with his
flag draped over me
a blanket
full of his precious
memories..
Author notes
Written June 4th, 2004
XxHoneydewxX--is this what you mean?if not let me know..thanks!!
In a list
A contest entry
- Pre-writes Welcome ~ Free Verse Only Please by LadyUnique.
300 points, ended January 9, 2007, 80 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - ARMY WIVES (or army...or...well...just love) by krymsin kyss.
600 points, ended March 8, 2007, 8 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I Don't Know by Pollycheck.
450 points, ended April 29, 2007, 137 entries
Honorable mention
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Gold by Danna Hobart.
300 points, ended July 30, 2007, 12 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - I want DEEP emotion! make me feel... by gochristyromano.
600 points, ended November 5, 2007, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - 10 days, 10 poems by ReachingForStars.
300 points, ended March 25, 2008, 6 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Anything you want by fairytalelovestory.
625 points, ended April 11, 2008, 72 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - anything goes!! by ShaddowsDarkened.
430 points, ended June 30, 24 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - TOO LITTLE TIME!!!! HURRY UP!!!! PREWRITES ARE ALLOWED!!!! by Mekhala.
515 points, ended January 21, 11 entries
Silver trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Prewite Contest by T.o.r.t.u.r.e..
475 points, ended April 2, 94 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 72 of 72
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great poem. nice emotion. thanks for entering anf good luck in the contest
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I think this is an awesome write.
My dad was in the army and if he did not survive like he had I would not be here today to admire your poetry.
This truly shows your affection for each other.
And the neediness of that person being with you forever.
I hope that you get through life with a better attitude and hope for joy. -
• if you would please space your name out in your AN like this : X x D r o w n . M e . D r y X x . Just out a space between each of your letters. Please. If you chose not to thats fine but i would like you you give me a reason.
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its close enough. just so that i can see who entered the contest and who has entered two poems thats all. thanks
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this poem is beautiful and touching. it filled tears in my eyes...i cant think of losing someone, i have loved so much, forever. It must have been extremely painful. A proud wife, you must be. Please, dont worry, Im sure God will take good care of him, in heaven! Very beautifully written. I like the rhythm...It is one of the most beautiful and touching poems, I have ever read! Thanks a HUGE deal for the read and the entry! Good Luck!
Regards,
Mekhala
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its beautiful
wow...this poem is filled with such emotion...i nearly cried reading it...the pain and sadness that are held in these precious words, you have a great tallent for writing what seems to be the lives of so many people.
thank you for sharing this beautiful poem with us all.
good luck in the contest,
keep writing,
holly x -
this is a great poem it has a great stucture and a great flow, i hope this didnt really happen to you and if it did, best wishes, i am an Army wife myself and i would not know what to do if this happened to me, i have a few military poems if you would like to read them, you could send me an IM and we could talk if you need someone to talk to, i will be here, congrats on the previous trophies and good luck in all the current contest you have this poem entered in best wishes in life, and keep writing, -Amy ♥
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This was so emotional and amazing... if it was based on a real experience I am so sorry for your loss. My older brother is a Marine currently in Iraq and I pray every day that he is safe. This was an amazing write, thank you so much for your entry.
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Caellach
thank you for the gold..it was a lovely surprise!!this was not a true story...my daughter,s husband is in the military..and well what inspired this sad write was ..seeing her cry every time he was deployed and running home to mom till he got back..i felt her pain and well this was just some of the things she would tell me how she felt..like seeing him off in the airport and watching the plane go up and her saying a prayer...hoping he returned..well he did return.but it was painful for me to see my daughter worry and cry ...as many do now in times of war.I hope n pray your brother too comes home!!
again thanks!! ... AND [I am Honored!!!]..FOR THE WIN!.
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You must have an amazing personality to be able to take the pain you see in another person and put it into such an eloquent and powerful poem. You are so welcome for the gold, I was honored to have your entry!
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If this true, I'm very sorry for your loss. I can't put my finger on exactly WHAT it is, but this piece is truly moving. The emotion and tension is portrayed so well that the reader actually feels the sorrow. the only thing I might change is this line:
tears we both did cry
the "we both did" is awkward wording. But other than that, I really enjoyed reading this, and best of luck in the contest!
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If this is inspired by real life, you have my sympathies.
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Wow! Great write! It's the one phone call nobody wants, but one that so many get. Very touching poem.
One thing...
There is a mispelling in the last stanza. Presious should be precious.
Keep writing! You have what it takes!
~Corvidae
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Corvidae
thank you for the catch on my mis-spell.. and thank you for commenting on my write.
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Thank you for entering my contest and good luck. You have hit a very dear spot in my heart with this poem. I spent 26 years in the military and I can not even count the times that my poor wife had to go through being the strong one when I left for a deployment. She had to be there for the kids. She supported me everyday of those long years and I love her dearly for it. I was lucky enough to come back each time, but I know there were times when she had to think about me not coming back.
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wow. Thats one really hit my heart. I was crying as I hit the last parts. I think thats every Military wifes nightmare. Thank you for entering and good luck
avec amour *~Krymsin Kyss~* -
vanyel..thank you for loving my write..and the luck in the contest..my write was removed cause I failed the obey the rules.. and good luck to you too!! hawe a nice day!! Honeydew. almost forgot!!!!!!!!!!!!! thanks for the applaud!!!!
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Awesome write-- but I'm afraid you did not read the rules! Feel free to re-enter after fixing your author's comments!!!
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wow that was sooo sad i teally loved ur poem sooo lots of luck in this contest
from vanyel -
Great job...I love this write...my favorite part is when it talks about the flag as ur blanket...this write is so sadd but filled with so much emotion...my other favorite part was:
We're off to the airport now
you are going over seas..
I say a prayer to my self
Dear Lord return my man to me..
Great job and good luck...i will let you know the results soon...
...<3...Amanda -
thank you for commenting on my write..I'm sure you will have many sad entry's...good luck with your contest! [honeydew.]
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wow, i am speechless, this is wow. amazing. GREAT job. this blew me away. GOOD JOB and thanks for entering
Delicate<3 -
TaintedDarkness--Thank you so much for the gold!!!...I was really amazed that this won!!!! because I was up against some very talented poets!!!..thanks again .
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As a military wife, reading this made me cry and gave me goose bumps all over. As for his flight going down, I have never really thought of, but dying in Iraq was a big fear of mine. I must say this writing is amazing and best of luck in the contest. Many prayers to your daughter and husband.
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This poem was absolutely amazing. It gave me goose bumps while I was reading it because it is a huge reality in being a military wife of any kind, and for you to understand it just like that from only your daughter's words, that is just truly amazing!!
Thanks for entering and best of luck to you!
Emily -
thank you for changing the rule you missed.
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awww this is such a sad write. i liked the idea of the flag as a blanket. wonderufl job here and wonderful imagery. great job. i really enjoyed this write a lot. beautiful imagery and emotion put into this poem. great job i see ur hard work in this poem. keep it up.
Firefly
P.S. i really wish you would go back and read the rules one more time, you missed something and i want you to change it before i judge so it doesn't matter and i don't dq you. this is such a beautiful write. -
this is just great!!!!it's sad but i loved it!!!!great write!!!!very beautiful and creative...great stuff!!!
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sewasham--thank you for your comment.I appreciate it!!
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I think you have described every military spouses worst nightmare. A very emotional and beautifully written piece. Best of luck in the contest. Take care and Have fun. Steve
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honey, nice try at showing memories of something so painful loosing a spouse. I been to Iraq and lost family members and friends, so I can understanda little of how you feel iamge an visions
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Hey Honeydew,
I really think this is one of your best pieces... you could have fooled me! It's a touching poem, and one I really enjoyed because it rang true- the terror that goes through a military wife's mind as she hears the commander's voice would be truly unimaginable. The format and essentially 'free', dropping style suited the topic and made it visually appealing, also. My favourite verse was
"watched the plane
take up to the sky
Threw a kiss to my soldier
The love of my life.."
You really show poetic maturity and talent beneath a tough, strong exterior!Good work, and thankyou for your comments on my work.
**silver -
Thank you for your beautiful comment on my write..Honeydew
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thank you for your comment
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wonderful write. I an quite tired or I would write more. It is a lovely dedication to the military and brings attention to the flag as well.
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In our hearts we are thank full to the men and women of our country for protecting us as we sleep and live in peace to see another day, And at the same time we feel a strong sympathy for the wives husbands mothers and the fathers who have lost that special someone in there lives this is a sad poem yet it is brilliantly penned to open up the eyes of the ones who may have forgotten about whats going on in the world today thank you for
This beautifully poem it is an honor to have read and commented on it again thank you and best of luck to you in life rob. -
thank you for your comment.I appreciate it!! I am also glad that I dont have to go through this..don't we all have enough stress and worries on our minds from day to day?..I have been through my many loss's in many tragic ways..yet I know we all have been there in some point in our lives..thanks again for commenting!!
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ahh this is a bit painful, but a good insight i am joinin the military next year, i can only hope my sgt doesnt have to make this call, really sweet touching poem, congrats ~emma~
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have have done a good job to write this in the sense that you arent living this , you have captured the emotions well, great work
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Presious Silence..thank you for your comment and applaud....even if I do not win in your contest at least I know you liked my poem..thank you
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I think this is a very good write. And i do not agree with the comment before about not marrying someone in the military. You can't help who u fall in love with. Though i've said to myself many a time i don't want to be a soldier's wife. Soldiers put their lives on the line for each one of us and i believe we should respect them for that. Great write and good luck in the contest.
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Surely there is a simple solution to the problem you outline: do not marry someone in the armed forces. Mercenaries knowingly take the risk they may be killed when they join up. That is what they are paid for. Incidentally, words like "soldier" and "military" can only refer to armies. The correct words are "sailor" and "naval". Also "nightmare" is one word, not two. I hope you find my comments helpful.
Edited on Aug 26, 5:08 because ''. -
NNOI---I MUST CLARIFY THIS DID NOT HAPPEN TO ME ...MY DAUGHTER HUSBAND IS IN THE NAVY AND WELL SHE WORRIES EVERY TIME HE HAS TO PART FROM HER..SHE DREADS TO HEAR THAT TELEPHONE RING FEARING SOMETHING HAS HAPPENED TO HIM..its just a sad poem about a militarys wifes worst night mare...sorry about the caps..
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did this re4ally happen if so i am so sorry i got gusbumps reading it keep up the grat work you might win my contestgood luck to you hope you feel better
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shubs ..thank you for reading my poem..I agree with your comment ..the governments not worried...and what does a flag do for a widow/or widower who no longer has thier loved ones..it is to resemble how the government honors ones dedication..I say wow thats not much..at the end of my poem about the wife drapping the flag over herself ..is basically all she has left from her husband dedicating and serving in the military and losing his life..not much huh?? so sad..all shes left with is his memories..oh I forgot and a free burial..sure isn't much..thanks again for commenting
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I agree totally with this write ,but at the end of it I wonder whether the government and the country's governors are worried about all this...all they are worried about is their pockets..power games..supremacy..the superior gulps the inferior....and the pawns are the infantry and the cavalry..a posthumous honour is of what use to a dear..whose departed cannot be with their country..their wife..yes but if invaded by another country then the Life of every civilian becomes a de facto soldier's life...sad--Shubs
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The unknown..no this is not a true story thank god!!my daughters husband is in the navy and goes away alot and I see how she worries, like many other families in the forces I know do when thier loved ones go away..i'm sure this may have happened to many too..my mother in laws husband was in army and since has passed away ..not in the services ..but she was presented a flag in his honor and she sleeps with it ..so I was in spired to write this piece based on many reason ..although very sad ..and I hope no one has to endore such a tragety..thank you for your reply and god bless you and all our sholdiers
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I would have never guessed that this was not a true write for you, but it could apply to any military wife who has gone thru this, my heart goes out to them.....I must say you did capture the heart strings with this one, a very sad write.....I pray that your daughter nevers has to use this as a true write for her...safe to her husband and all husband's and wives fighting for our freedom and the freedom of others, GOD bless them.
TUI -
This is fabulous!!
OMG!! This is so so amazing and so prophetic to the present moment!! Incrdible job... Thank you for this.
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I can relate to this. My father is in Afganistan and will be for 2 years. Though we do not speak often because we are not close, I would still hate to recieve a phone call like this.
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I have a brother who is in the military...so i understand.
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Wow. That was intense. It's amazing that you could get so much into it even though it's never actually happened to you. I thought I was going to start crying. This a gorgeous write, a very sad one, but gorgeous none the less. Great job. Thanx for entering and good luck *~IB~*
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Very good.
Wow! you could've fooled me. This is really good. Sad, but good. I have a friend who is a military wife and she goes through these rollercoaster rides and I can sorta feel what you both write. good job.
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It's not easy. I know.
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JennyNYC..yes you are right..ALONG WITH OTHERS COMMENTS.. they tell you in a more formal way..I may edit this now that alot brought this to my attention..but yet by phone,or the door bell ringing or a telegram,an e mail,or telephone call..it is all so sad..
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This is a really good poem.. Captures the POV of a military wife well.. Very sad.. One thing tho... Don't they come to ur house to announce the death of a soldier rather than on the phone? or was that just back in the day... Great write!
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I liked the part where she wraps the flag around her like a blanket. It reminds me of my mom after my step dad died. She clung to his dirty shirt and just smelled it for a few days.
It was horrible to see how much she missed him. Anyways, I think you represented it well. I also like the backround. -
You did a wonderful job portraiting a military wifes position. I'm relieved to see it's not a true story. I will remember to pray for you son-in-law.
Red -
I wish I could say something ... my best friend is now in Bagdhad.. I just got an e-mail letting me know he is safe for the moment; I didn't know that the news came by phone ... I thought at least they would tell you personally..on West Wing the president makes a call .. or they show someone driving up, a navy chaplain .. because after all .. a person has given their life .. the ultimate gift .. Arsenic_ is in Bagdhad .. so many terrible things can happen .. he says it isn't war any more .. I pray for his wife .. and small sons.. as long as people are dying; to me it is war. I'm sorry for your loss ... so dreadfully sorry .....
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Very beautifully written, it's so amazing how you wrote from a military wifes point of view. It is very scary to think of that happening, my husband and I are both in the Navy, and I dread the day when he has to get deployed. I love this poem, great job!!
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this is not a true story for me..my daughters husband is a military man and she worries so much when he has to go away for months at a time..i was thinking one day..what wifes must go through and well i came up with this sad write..which is true to many of people I am sure
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This is a beautiful poem. My fiancee is in the Airforce ad they just went over seas. So now I am sitting here waiting for him. And it is so hard knowing that I am leaving in August to go through my Basic trainning. I am so very sorry for your lost. Yet he died with an honor of serving his country. I wish there was more to say. To give you some kind of comfort. I am sorry for you lose, but thank you for sharing you feelings with the poetic world. He will never be forgotten. He will live on in you forever.
God Bless America And All Those Who Die To Protect It
~**~DeathOfAnArchAngel~**~ -
a bittersweet poem, and clearly written, expressing the pain and anguish from the wife's point of view... a sad commentary on the savagery still in existence in our world!
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Is this fiction?
Man...if not, I am so sorry for your loss!! I was in a small group with the women of our church once, and there was a military wife in the group praying to God to remind her that while her husband was away, He was her husband, and would provide all the strength she needed....I can't imagine what this would be like...God bless...
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That what we get from wars "death" for everyone we love, I enjoyed with the imagery and how does the poem flows, anyway it's an excellent piece, deserves an Applaud.
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folded flags do not have arms to hold you, and coffins are far too deep for many young wives to comprehend with babies in arms, and bills to meet, not of the male kind , but in the mail kind, and tears for all that never will be, fall free...Artis
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aww this poem is so sad..i cant bealive that i am crying but it was just that sad..you are very talented and this was an great poem i think it may now be my fav. the first to ever make me cry..Great write..Keep it up.
Keep it coming from the heart..
Haleigh -
OO RAAAAH
This Poem is great, But Your missing the Best Service, The Marines
. Anyway, this poem is written excellent, to many times, I've experienced or seen what the "3 Phone Rings"
can do to a woman, in love or married to a military man.
This poem describes it word for word and dont worry, I
think it should have been excepted by this contest.
Dumb rules Semper Fi
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oh this was soo good! I'm applauding this...thanks for entering and good luck!
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Awwww I LOVE it! I love the emotion and I love the imagery. It was so sad at some parts and happy at others. I liked it so much because it was like a rollar coaster and it felt as if I was right there watching all of this. Thank you so much for sharing it and for entering my contest. Best of luck winning
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thoughtful, great
This was a wonderful poem. I applaud all the fine military men and women, they don't get enough thank yous. An enjoyable read.Take care -
*sniffle* That's so sad! I thought it was really nice how you just kind of rhymed two stanzas. Great poem! And thanks for the comment on my poem "Too Late", and yeah, it really did happen. Anyway, nice poem, and keep up the nice work!
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