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The Shadow

I'm a shadow passing through,
Weaving through you and you,
Watching you laugh and cry,
Hoping the time will pass on  by.

A shadow knows how to hide,
So you can see the wall, not inside.
When a shadow does comes out,
It is a shy whisper, not a shout,

Feeling carefully, testing the ground,
Running at any dangerous sound.
A shadow does need a heart to share,
But a shadow is not really there.

Author notes


Written June 4th, 2004

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Comments


  • melphleg gold member
    June 5, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    I appreciate the suggestion. I do welcome suggestions and comments. The "you and you" is repeated intentionally. It is suppose to give the idea of passing by people in a crowd or small gathering. It is repeated for emphasis as well. "You" is used to make it personal. weaving through a crowd is too impersonal. Using "you" conveys that the person is not seen by you, personally, thus giving the reader some responsibity and hopefully motivation to engage with the introverted, shy people.

  • Shaede
    June 4, 2004
    Edit | Reply
    this is a really good poem! the 2nd line (with the repeated you) doesnt really sound right though. maybe you could play around with the words a little.

  • Juicebox
    June 4, 2004
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    Very good.

    I really like this, nice and short!!! I think it flowed really well and I really like the rhyme scheme, the words didn't seem forced. I particularly liked "Feeling carefully, testing the ground,
    Running at any dangerous sound." I think this flowed brilliantly. Well done, round of applause for yooou! ~Jo~ xxx