On
empty days,
They brush by softly
to touch the one they
chose to leave so soon.
Were loved enough, but left
the womb agrieve for years,
Whose empty space could
not be filled by any means,
or other than the ones
this lifetime killed.
Entombed,
They'd filled the heart
of one who had to
feel their comfort there.
Yet tragedy's long pain
made trembles
of the strength
'twas thought to gain.
Enduring stoicly and well,
I live, and yet feel
cheated
Void in soul,
save for experience.
Author notes
This poem refers to the pain of losing four of my children before birth.
Written June 2nd, 2004
What did you think
Comments
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This poem is so sad, I know the pain of losing a child before birth, Nathaniel my son is an IVF baby, I was carrying twins but lost one. The pain and sadness were only eased by the birth of an healthy son.
The poem is perfect in every way. I love the way you have actually laid the poem out, to me it looks like a child.
I hope that you now have healthy children
Take care and God bless
Elaine
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Shaken
It's hard to comment on this poem as poetry since it is so powerful as expression of loss, sadness and pain. Within the poem, the use of abstractions helps to describe the pain without inflicting it, and the tone is quite descriptive without being cooly observant. As with many poems on this site, I am amazed by the tragedies and horrors that so many poets on the site have experienced, but I am relieved that they can express them. The opening lines, were the strongest for me, perhaps because they are very concrete; they show and don't tell, they have a lilting rythm and imagery; they are almost enough to tell the whole story:
On
empty days,
They brush by softly
to touch the one they
chose to leave so soon.
As poet, father, man, I'm so glad you wrote this. For you, for them, for us. -
You really feel cheated. As do I hun, as do I. It's horrible at the games life plays on us. It makes us think it's giving us so much and in the end it takes everything away. Sometimes it's like why the hell do we live if we can give life back. I'm sorry about this hun. *hugs* Lots of love, ~maryj~
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This is articulated so well. I feel for the parents who lose their babies in such a way as this, yet somehow feel relieved for those tiny souls who escaped the mesmerizing pain of life and its constant turmoil. They're like a shooting star - a meteor deflecting off of earth's protecting shield, and bouncing back to heaven.
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i feel the sadness here...and it is well written of...and on the other had i also feel the acceptance of the loss...i have experienced similar...though just one...thanks for sharing part of your journey with us...keep up the good work
dark search -
Dinna grieve sae muckle hen. The watergaw will aye rise ayont the rain clouds, and settle the stour o' the mind's een.
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To combine emotions with artistic talent is when one's art is truely great. This piece is no exception. The first few lines were very well done and had the reader intrigued and you kept the reader throughout the piece with emotional lines.
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wonderful
i agree, simple elegance within a very powerful and moving piece. After reading author comments, i am almost speechless to write further. Wonderful poetry. -
You captured the very essence of your pain. I had one loss but four is just ... I don't even want to go there. You touched my heart with your honesty and openness. Beautifully penned. Well Done. Thank you
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This is incredibly sad... but it's wonderful too. I am so sorry that you had to go through that. I can't say I can relate, because I can't, in all honesty. The way you described it, it was like I could acutally see the tiny souls rising up to heaven.... wonderful, simply exquisite. And thank you for your comment on "I Made the Phoenix".
dangerous-angel
~Jessica~ -
I didn't really understand this one until I read your comment. It does hurt to wear your shoes, at least these ones.
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Simple elegance. A wealth of raw emotion in such deceptively sparse lines. I read this with an aching heart. How unfair of life to bless those who do not want and deprive those who long. I empathize with your words, but I brought on my own pain. Not by losing my children before their birth, but by giving them up for adoption. There is always an aching void in my soul for them. I'm so terribly sorry for your loss. I hope your expressing your feelings here helps to comfort and heal your heart.
jill
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WOW! This is quite an amazing write..I could not imagine the feeling of going through something so very sad..four times..you did an excellent job putting that feeling into words..the last four lines were especially touching..I wish the best to you..thank you for sharing this beautiful yet sad write..I also wanted to thank you for the lovely comment on my written thoughts..I appreciate your kindness...
~~Kristy -
"Void in soul,
save for experience."
This is really the feeling loss leaves us with, and it feels terrible. Your poem really painted the image well.
Experience that helps us protect our heart for next time.. and it is at this fragile point that we are in danger of oversteping the line from protecting our heart to hardening our heart. I enjoyed reading this poem, well done.
and I'm sorry for your loss. -
i'm speechless
im really sorry about your losing those children.
this is a very powerful poem. i cried while reading it. it's very raw and sad. all but wonderful at the same time.
i hope this poem brought you some therapudic closure. -
no words can express.....
you commented on my lullaby thank you- i came in search of your work and stood still - frozen by it's power and raw feeling - engulfed by the sorrow and pain you portray so eloquently and beautifully. the final lines brought a lump to my throat
I hope you find the solace from your writing as you share with others ~ thank you xxxelainexxx -
Elegant Grief -- reminded me of the quiet gri
This is another superior work of craft. You create so much out of deceptive simplicity. No wonder you admire Wilde, who was also able to deliver so much depth in compact and elegant verse and prose. You take the reader along for the journey; much of the poetry along the same lines does not translate the personal experience for others. -
*gasp*
Scuse me I have to sit down.
I have not experienced this. I have never been pregnant let alone gone through this. This poem is so moving.
I'd hate to say 'you have my sympathies' 'cos that's not at all what I'd mean but you really do have my greatest wish for blessings on you and yours. Thank you for sharing such a wonderfully moving poem.
Love Light and Laughter
Rhi -
Heartfelt
Hi GingerandHoney:
I have not experienced what you have experienced, nor could I ever. I can feel sad for you have to go through such sadness in your life. To feel this young life, yet lose what is so precious. My heart goes out to you. Time has a way of helping us through life's misfortunes, but the memory will find its place in our heart. Thank you for sharing your troubled times in such a heartfelt poem. Thank you. Bill -
this is an absolutely beautiful writing. i can not pretend to even imagine what those losses must have been like but my heart goes out to you for surviving and finding beauty in life in the midst of such deep, and never ending pain. this piece expresses that pain in qualities of lonliness, love and grief. just a breathtaking work.
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heartbreaking
You certainly have a way with words Ginger...this write hit me right in my stomach. It's very sad...for there is nothing that can replace the emptiness of what could have been. I really feel for you and the pain of losing four children. Penned like a pro in your usual style. -
Although I am a man, I am Irish too and can feel your pain which will never go away entirely, but will, one day, become manageable. The wtite is well done, though sad. Thanks for sharing a bit of yourself Ginger, jean
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I agree with sadelmann...evocative. This piece shows deep sadness, yet when I read it, I'm struck by the calm in the flow and words. Excellent piece
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I believe that ghosts are the memories we hold of those we have loved - and there is no greater love than a mother's for her childre. I like the form and the style in this piece. Your words ar evocative.
Scott
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This is really thought provoking.. set my mind rolling, i'll give it that!! I like this poem, well done!
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this is good keep it up
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