a groupie.
but not so much that its noticeable.
everyday its the same abuse,
they all ignore my existence.
they complain and converse
with poisoned words.
this is how i survive.
the toxic remedy of pretending to fit in,
and failing to make that transition.
i live my desolate life,
wondering when it will end.
but alas! to no avail!
i am forced to continue my plight.
with all these fake friendships
i have surrounded myself with,
i still feel lost and alone.
i don't think its possible for me
to experience anything less.
for i will always be alone.
i cant let people get close to me.
its not within the independent tiger's spirit.
one forged through the fires of despair and misery,
will always be there to bring an insecure hope.
a hope that has been a complete lie,
since the day i entered this bloody world.
I'm growing impatient with waiting,
waiting for my pain to cease.
Author notes
this was somewhat a spur of the moment thing. i exploded...at people today, and i couldnt let some of that seep away from me. i ran away from those friends today. i dont know how to deal with this...rejection. i think i might have brought it upon myself. o well. life is full of disappointments. whats one more, right? something in me has snapped...im sure of it.
Written June 2nd, 2004
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Comments
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nono...heck. ur not a fake friend.
ur an incredibly awesome person to kno.
i appreciate ur company.
^_^ -
a "fake friend", am i? interesting... fair enough. don't forget, you've chosen to join us. i applaud.
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Well J has a point. Fake Friendships ( I just call those people my associates) do make very good characters in stories. I personally try not to get myself too tied down worried about what my 'associates' think about me because I honestly don't expect too much from them in being there for me or anything like that. I have 3 true friends and they are all the best friends in the world for me. But people today are so two-faced and evil that most people that you run into and might call you their friend will go back and talk all kind of junk about you so don't get too cought up in it.
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been there. they'll all fade, as most shallow friendships do, and all you'll need them for is the random memory for the occasional anecdote. they also make great characters in stories.

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