But all should know that i have not died....
Forget your acrid, lemon tears and dry your orange eyes
They searched far and wide for my body, but it was inside
the furrowed and strained vineyard of despair
Intertwined with all the other bones of freedom, laid there....
Shot for trying to give some people hope
Just when it looked like they could not cope....
A raging bull of a twisted sexual surprise
A handsome youth with tears welling in his eyes....
And born to live and portray Spanish life, his words immortal
Shines like the moon, through a divine inspired portal
And although they tried to stifle the beauty of a false, disguise....
The gypsy's love, the horses head dared to rise....
And try to kiss, the moonlit night
A shattered skull and a blood gorged prism of light
Laid to rest, for trying to give the Spainish, peasants, second sight
Amongst the anguish of the terrible, bloody, civil fight
As the world cried out at Franco's nerve...
Denial and betrayal, Lorca did not get what he deserved
His immortal poetry, did never lie....
But all should know that i have not died....
Georges
Author notes
A poem about the Spanish poet Federico Garcia Lorca and his untimely death. His quote is the first and the last line of the verse "But all should know that i have not died." Inspiration.
Written June 2nd, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
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Honorable mention
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What did you think
Comments
1 - 48 of 48
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Like A Painting
This was such a beautiful and creative piece. I have never read anything by him, but I think I definitely will. I really did love this, especially the first two lines...I like when poetry has a colorful feel to it. Great write and good luck in the contest!
~*~Silent Insanity
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WOW! A very classical write. A true masterpiece of a portrait. You paint emotion and imagery well with your words.This has such a liquid flow about it. Wonderfully written. Keep the ink flowing and good luck. Thankd for sharing.
~Donna~
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I have come to understand through reading your multiple entries into this contest that you have a unique ear for your own writing. One can teach oneself to hear the writing the way you must, but it is, admittedly, difficult.
Thank you for your entry.
~Das -
Thanks for your entry! The first stanza was particularly good
The only piece of criticism I have is that the comma in the middle of many lines is very distracting and disrupts the flow. I might also suggest a consistent rhyme scheme, or no rhyme at all.
However, your ability for imagery is very good, and I think I might have to look this poet up. Thanks for your entry. -
This is a great tribute to the writer. It makes one sad that his gift is gone from this world. I have not read any of his work. He sounds very good. I may have to look him up.The imagery is outstanding. The content is very good. It seems like you have research the author very well. I truly like this write. I like that you wrote about an author and shared with us something new and fresh.
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powerful write! very deep and emotional, great job and best of luck!
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Georges
Absolutely amazing and stunning write !!
So deep and beautiful !!!!!
Fantastic !!!!
Thank you for your entry and best of luck
Stay safe
~Amanda
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What a wonderful tribute to a great writer! It's so nice to see something different in this contest, and you picked a fantastic subject. I like this poem in general, the way it tells a story, the word usage, just everything really. There was one line I thought sounded a bit forced, (line 21) but otherwise this flows perfectly. Thanks so much for a most enjoyable read. Good luck in the contest and thanks also for entering!
Best wishes,
~J.
P.S. Although I said I would not remind anyone, there are not a ton of poems taking advantage of the lemon bonus. So, if you would like to provide links to 2 other poems you'd like me to comment on after judging this contest is complete, please leave them in the author's notes. I will be checking back before closing the contest.
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B
wow, so good. so very good
-Max -
I really enjoyed this poem. To be honest, I hate rhyming in poetry because it usually sounds forced and amateur, but u've managed to pull it off pretty well here, so kudos to you for that!
I thought this was written nicely. The wording and the imagery were both strong and you managed the keep a steady rhythm throughout.
There are a few things you might want to take a second look at. First, "moonlight night" should probably be "moonlit night". Second, you used the word "immortal" twice. I know this probably doesn't seem like a big to you, but that happens to be one of the things that I'm really anal about with poetry. Maybe try to replace one of those "immortal"s, though I know it's hard with a word like that.
That's basically it. Thanks for entering the contest and good luck!
~notxyourxstar -
His words live on, he will never die. This is a great tribute to a great poet. Thank you so much for writing this. Freedom of speech and expression in the arts is important.
Thanks for entering this great piece of work.
TW -
wow
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Great write
I applaud this with honor. This is so very expressive and bold. You create images that burn brightly. The message of power that resounds from your work is great. -
A wonderful write.
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Great poem
This is a great poem on an interesting subject. Well written and witty. Write on Sir, write on. -
good
good progression. i like your use of repetition. the fifth line seems like a stretch--the end rhyme sounds so contrived. overall, a good poem. i enjoy the symbolism and the tie ins to real events. hemingway-esque with the spanish civil war. :: h hemingway, giggles::
Edited on Oct 23, 11:53 p.m. because 'damned smileys'. -
hmmmm.... a bit confusing because it switched from 1st to 3rd person so much but I think I got the jist of it. Good rhythm, it was more like a story than a poem except for the rhythm and the symbolism. I didn't understand all of the symbolism probably becaus eI know little about this poet of whom you speak. Good word choices though, his bravery spoke through especially the last part of your piece. Luck to you in me contest!
SaM
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passion does not die, it is carried by the spirit of those who perish pursueing it to another soul who was left open to the fires it holds, by watching the beauty and the hunger of the man who created the cause. like a torch it is past on through the generations and in the flames there lives the leaping laughing spirits of all who fought before and still burn on....Artis
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is it true that he had to dig his own grave? i never knew if that part of his story was kind of fable or something - they treated him terribly and he still knew what beauty and hope and longing were - yerma and bloodwedding are gorgeous in english, i bet they're even more lovely in spanish - you really pay him a wonderful tribute with this piece, the sexual and natural imagery mirror his style and something in the tone really echoes his own. bets thing ive read on here for a long while, thank you.
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wow all i can say is that was really beautiful. you did it again. great job and again i hope others read this as well as i did because its wonderful and it deserves the attention!
Great Job.
chocolate
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Beautiful, Georges!!! I LOVE Lorca's works...not surprised by your write at all!!!...Wanda
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excellent
this is great write and glad you choosed to enter this write in my contest leeche .you made my job little harder in judging when you enter this so you know ! -
Thanks again for your support, Hadesworld.
Georges -
tHANKS, blacklight.
Georges -
Thanks for the comments and write, tina.
Georges -
Thanks for the welcome, i intend to keep writing.
Georges -
Execellent
This is very impressive, love the whole thing about it!! Excellent and thank you so much for sharing and keep them great writes coming. -
All I know about Frederico Garcia Lorca is that he was an incredible Spanish poet. You've done an awesome job at writing this poem. The imagery is really strong and it is well worded. Kept my attention the entire time. Splendid tribute.
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hey this was ra;y good i hope to see moar like it well i realy raly dont hVE A LOT TO SAY BUT I THIGHT I WOULD SAY THIS WAS RALY WALL DON AND I THINKE YOU HAVE A LOT OF PANL IN THE FALD OF POERTY WELL SEE SA LATER
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very good
yet another great write you have my friend a good one at that .as always i never disappointed reading your work !excellent job my friend. -
Thank you for your comments, i hope my poem is a small tribute to this great poet/novelist/playwright of modern Spain.
Thank you.
Georges -
Good
Lorca was also a novelist and storywriter. An interesting topic for a poem, thanks for something that is not about lost love and teen angst/suicide. Lorca was a patriot and deserves to be remembered. -
Thank you for your nice words about my poem.
Georges -
Freda, thanks for writing on my poem.
Georges -
Thanks for your comments on my poem.
Georges -
a very wonderful tribute ... people who dare to stand up and sacrifice and give their ultimate gift, their life. Makes us realize that our little battles are trevial by comparison. I wonder why it is that we wallow within them. Thnx for the poem, i would enjoy reading peotry of the above if there were any english translations.
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deeply moving tribute to a great poet..."a shattered skull and a blood gorged prism of light laid to rest for trying to give Spain's peasants second sight amongst the anguish of the terrible, bloody civil strife"...these are a few of the great lines you have penned..thanks for sharing..freda
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I love a poem that takes my mind in different directions and I think this one does. Makes the reader think not jus read. Lovely visions dance through the head of the reader. very nicely written.
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Thanks for your comments, Cindy. I appreciate them.
Georges -
FEDERICO GARCIA LORCA. Federico García Lorca (1898 - 1936) ..
Determinant and deep poet,He had a surrealistic technique. a very tragic death, he scaped from spain to Granada. thanks for remind us of his great work. Cindy From Mexico. -
a good effort you have penned here...I lkie this stanza best..."a shattered skull and a blood gorged prism of light
laid to rest for trying to give Spain's peasants second sight
amongst the anguish of the terrible, bloody civil strife
and the world cried out at Franco's nerve"I think the flow"hesitates a little with this line...."laid to rest for trying to give Spain's peasants second sight"...perhaps if you found one suitable word to replace""trying to give"perhaps use"endowing"?Anyway ,a good write thanks for sharing...freda
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Thanks for featuring this poem, it is my homage to Lorca, one of the greatest poets of all time.
Georges -
"the horses head dared to rise
and try to kiss the moonlight night"
Lovely lines. (wouldn't it be 'tried' 'moonlit').
Great poem. Everybit of it shone with hope in the midst of strife. -
I'm going to promote your poem in the Feature Box for you. You'll get a bit more feed-back, until you can build up your points.
Any 'silent clickers', wasting my points, will 'pay'
~ Ma'atkara
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Thank you for your comments, peaseeker. They are appreciated.
Georges -
Excellent!
I like it. While metaphor can be misinterpreted, it adds a richness and beauty to poetic language that raises it from mere communication to art. You have many very good phrases which evoke the time and place. "The other bones of freedom" is wonderful. They have not died as long as they are read and understood.
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No, i made a mistake in the first name and was not sure how to edit it, G. I have done it now along with the typo of prism. Thank you for your generous comments about the poem. It is not one of my best but i thought i would dip my toe into the water.
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This is a power-packed poem, Georges! Your extraordinary use of metaphor paints this with such vivid and visceral images, one is left wanting to know more.
I am not familiar with the story, but it has a familiar ring to it, like so many other heroes of such tragedies.
Great job!
(Is that really how Lorca's first name was spelled?)
Check typo, 'prism'.
~ G
Edited on Jun 04, 1:50 because 'fixin' my own typos'.
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