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Only a Memory

Twilight breaks and faded memories linger...
      past memories of unforgettable love.
      The deep compassion we shared together,
      tied together by a single memory.
      As dew gathers upon the grass
      I know that it is only the passing of time.
      Pristine beauty remains untouched,
      perfect memories suspended in time.
      Through a single teardrop
      I can see the reflection of you,
      but alas...
      it is only a memory.

Author notes

I found this when I cleaned up my room...lol I seem to be finding a lot of lose poetry that I havent typed. Hmm.
Written June 1st, 2004

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    I plan to revise this poem: please leave constructive criticism!
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Comments

  • brownfox
    June 2, 2004
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    beautifully sad poem. reminds me so much of an unforgettable love i once had. thanks for the reminder. i love it : ))

  • red oil rose
    June 1, 2004
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    hm..i like it. its creative and..good. sad too, but good. the words you used were nice. i sound really stupid in this comment, i cant help it im trying to be nice to people that im not pissed at but it doesnt seem to be working too well, i just sound like an idiot. anyway, id say more because this is a great poem but..well yeah..
    --cole xoxo

  • injenn
    June 1, 2004
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    Excellence

    This is a very interesting peice, and I'm not sure how to begin my commenting.

    First of all, I really like the way you describe. You appear to be very talented in choosing excellent words - just as the storyteller hopes to say the most in the littlest of sentances, you say an great lot in a short poem.

    The subordinate clauses I find that add to the overall mood are, "twightlight breaks," "faded memories," "tied together by a single memory," "pristine beauty remains untouched" (I liked that one, very well thought-out), and "perfect memories suspended in time." That last one caught me as being very thoughtful and insightful. Commendable work!