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Mirror mirror on the wall
Show me what you see
If you really reflect it all
Show every piece of me
Behind my eyes, behind my smile
Deep into my soul
Linger for a little while
Show me all you know
Not just a figure standing here
Reveal all that’s inside
Show me, even though I fear
Here and now, it’s time:
Show…
the bruised and battered place in me
the piece that just can’t cope
the part that longs to be set free
the side where life’s a joke
the innocence hiding behind the sin
the child inside the adult
the heart that won’t let anyone in
the piece of me that's mild
the place in me that’s always red
the part that’s forever blue
the side that follows what is said
the piece that’s always confused
the place in me that thinks I’m right
the part that knows I’m wrong
the side that’s bloated up with pride
the piece that can’t go on
the coward inside the fighter
the genius next to the dumb
the part that’s drunk with laughter
the side that shys from fun
So, mirror-mirror on the wall
I’ll step back so I can see
If you really reflect it all
And show every piece of me.
~~
Author notes
Written May 31st, 2004
In a list
A contest entry
- Give me your best by persephone grey.
400 points, ended March 22, 2005, 33 entries
Gold trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - Tell me why by astralshepherd.
450 points, ended October 16, 2007, 37 entries
Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
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Thank you so much for entering this poem, I appreciate your effort. The mirror here seems not only to reflect the soul of the writer but the brilliance as well, very high marks all the way around and a delight to read…many, many minutes spent pondering a very memorable poem and although the imagery was lacking here, the impact and truth stand out very well. Blessings and best wishes, ~richard
1) Content 9
2) Originality 9.5
3) Flow 9
4) Word choice (vocabulary and/or rhyme) 8.5
5) Imagery 8.5
6) Grammar 8.5
7) Form 9.5
8) Spelling 10
9) Emotional Impact 9.5
10) Rumination factor (how well does the poem make me ponder) 9.5
astralshepherd’s completely subjective total score =91.5
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This deserves all the attention Cheryl. People really are this complex, what insight!
You've made a serious and lovely rhyme.
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I found this to be quite an amazing poem. It is a little sad but quite a good reflection even without a mirror. Jim
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very nicely done i like the imagery and the fact that you are not afraid to show your true self. this is a very bold poem to write and i applaud you on it. good luck in my contest
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my god, this is awesome... How can you really put emotions into words that good? I love it! <3
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Wow
I love it. I've never thought about a mirror being able to show EVERY piece of a human, soul and thoughts included. Again, very good. *applauds* -
wow.. thats is very good.. the meaning is fantastic it flows very well and i like how you used italics and bold This was simply fantastic i love it.
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wow that was really great. i love how the poem changes focus, one your talking to the mirror than your talking about yourself. its really descriptive and you can see so much about this person through your poem.
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The only mirror that would show any of this is the mirror not on the wall but in the eyes, we all carry many controversial people within us, no person is black or white and it is hard for another to ever truly know all the shades of a person even after living with that person for years, in fact it is hard for most people to know and truly understand their true selves. This poem shows an understanding you have of your various shades and moods though another and certainly a mirror might never be able to see all of them. It gives us an insight into the real you. Very well expressed.
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the coward inside the fighter
the genius next to the dumb
the part that’s drunk with laughter
the side that shys from fun
Amazing the things a mirror can't show isn't it? Amazing write. Best of luck in the contest
Ruth -
terrific with awkward moments
This stanza seemed a bit awkward to me, particularly the last two lines seemed unclear to me, might consider rephrasing:
"Not just a figure standing here
Reveal all that’s inside
Show me, even though I fear
Here and now, it’s time:"
while i like the bold face and the statements in it, very turning the tables on the mocking mirror, the rhyming scheme was a bit irregular and forced in places (it looks like this abab, abcd, abab, abcb, and so on)...
i hate to be so technical, this is a fabulous work and deserves every applause, but this is the Honest Critique group, so i'm just letting you know in case you were thinking about improving it- then i'd work on tightening up some of the vagueness and rhyming.
the last stanza is terrific! keep on writing... keep on being... keep on making art... penumbrapoet
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Very in depth and powerful. Good luck i the contest.
Prince -
Great write Cheryl, it's amazing the things you see when you look deep into yourself and you expressed it very nicely. Enjoyed. Take care and Have fun. Steve
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Once in awhile I come accross a poem that just blows me away. This was truly awesome, and there isn't anything more I can say about this piece. Perfection.
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This is fantastically written. I love the way you open up and label all of those hidden places in the mind.
I wish you luck on this one, but I don't think you'll be needing it.
~Bezoar -
I love it!! Good luck in my contest and thanks for entering. La x
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EXCELLENT
How in the world did I miss this one? This is an outstanding piece. If there were such a magic mirror you could put all psychiatrists out of business...lol.
Sincerely,
Leo Long -
It took me a lot of years to get to the point where I not only liked the person I saw looking back at me in the mirror, but I am very comfortable with that person as well. This is an amazing and inspiring piece Cheryl. I can certainly see why it was so popular. This actually has me smiling, although i'm not quite sure why. It has given me a renewed sense of "contentment" with the woman that I am. What a great gift to walk away with after reading this. Thank you!
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Well comparing your mirror,mirror, to my my mirror,mirror...yours is fantastic!mine is more like what Dr Suess would have written had he just got off a six day bender.Thanks for taking the time to read mine,and once again this is great!!I will read more of your work,that is a gimme.
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oh Honey, that is so sad. I love it though i think we all have times in which we hated our selves so much that it was hard to see what was really there. i hope you have a great day. i love the poem.
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And this is why I use to hate looking in the mirror. I never liked who was looking back. A lot of that has changed over the past couple years. And a lot of that has to do with some awesome people on this site that have given me inspiration and a kick in the butt when I need them both. Awesome job.
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You are a talented and complex lady. There are many sides to all of us. I'm glad to see how well you express yours in this poem.
. -
This is a very good poem--I really enjoyed it a lot. I hope to see you again soon.
Damon D. Brewer -
I believe that a mirror allows us to bring out the other person
inside of us. It's like being able to talk to your other half, the side we normally dont see, the inner part of us. I enjoyed reading this poem. Well done. -
What an incradably write. I loved everything about this piece and what a way to start off my morning . You did such an amazing job here and I have no doubts you will place in this contest and if not well.....let me at em.....let me at em
loved this hun
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Simply brilliant. I wish there was a person in my life that is exactly like the mirror you write of. Someone who could see who I really was, someone who could see the hurt inside.
Your choice of words are simply marvelous. I just kept thinking, I hope someday someone will be able to see the real me. This piece is truely inspiring me. A masterpiece.
~*kp*~ -
by the way.. that cute clown mirror is really koool.. where can i buy it?
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excellent
the child inside the adult.... there is always a child inside even an old person.. I love this poem of yours, but this lline made me ponder... Great write here.. Mirror mirror on the wal... tell me who's the fairest of all.. lol.. glad you didnt say that.. You asked mirror a more inpressive thing! Keep writing
Regards,
Lonely~
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What took me so long to get here? Wow, this is awesome (and I see I'm not alone in that critique). Wonderful job.
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Such a delightful read!
The way that some of the lines paradoxed each other... You've added such a brilliant flare to this poem! I'm simply amazed
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the innocence hiding behind the sin
the child inside the adult
the heart that won’t let anyone in
the piece of me that's mild
the place in me that’s always red
the part that’s forever blue
the side that follows what is said
the piece that’s always confused
Such an honorable flow to this piece also. You took me away! Your voicings were also wonderful. More brownie points to the two-sided dialouge. T'was a great idea!
Constructive Tip
Watch your meter! It was a little sloppy in some places and distracted me a bit. However, your abab rhyming cancelled that mistake in my books. This was truly wonderful and remember, if you happen not to place, make sure you re-enter it in future rounds (There are 4 more... that means 4 more chances if you don't snag this one).
"Where hope ends, He begins."
Claide (The hope poet) -
Mirror poems are indeed reflective to all those who read, they’ve a mystery that draws readers into the very thoughts. This is a truly great example of just why so too. Reflective indeed, as is the very mirror itself. Awesome writing, sincerley.
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This is a great write. It seems to be done with a lot of emotion and inner feelings. It wants to make you stop and think when you in front of a mirror. Great poem.
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You may, do that, Kayla.
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I was wondering if you'd care if i printed this out n put it on the front of my notebook for skewl..lol maybe lame but who cares my friend got me started on this and well your poem just stood out ta me. Its great..
Kayla -
Truly Amazing
Whoa...This poem is truly amazing the self evalution as in looking into a mirror and analyzing your reflection to show every side of you without hiding anything...I thought about writing like this and I have tried before but yours is far beyong anything I could have ever written.I love this piece this should be compiled into a book or a part of history.Blessed Be,Tom -
wow, a great new twist on an old idea. it's at once self-deprecating in one way, while remaining utterly honest...because there're so many different parts to any one person. you definately reflect (pun intended) that here.
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Told you it was a great poem! Congrats!
David -
Amazing
What an amazing concept for a poem! I consider this kind of honest self-evaluation the best quality a writer can have. Judging by the applause and other comments, I'm not alone. You tapped into something universal here. We all have "bruised and battered" places, a part that "longs to be set free", and all the other insightful descriptions of your spirit you mentioned in this amazing work.
The only thing I don't like about this poem is I DIDN'T WRITE IT! lol
Take care and congrats on the silver. I'm honored to be in your company.
Mark -
Well written and moving. Excellent.
Love, Linda -
awesome. you did a great job of peering inside someone! and describing it while keeping up with rhyme and what not. seemingly perfect! great job, and very much luck in the contest!
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Whoa, i'm amazed. THis is a great poem. I entered one of your contests but no one was there yet so i couldn't comment on them I hope this works too.the innocence hiding behind the sin
the child inside the adult
the heart that won’t let anyone in
the piece of me that's mild
that was my fav part -
Awesome
This could be reflections on life. It is beautiful and your comments too; writing with moist eyes to my friend on a pedestal. In your mirror I hope you see the lives you have touched... -
Yes, this happens to be the best piece I have written so far. Thanks for reading it. Cheryl
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i guess alot of people like this, um.. pretty good write, i like it, good luck and keep it up.
Kayla
cute pic. -
I am so glad to hear you took that little piece of advice about the gratitude journal. I am glad you are doing it. Good luck with it. Cheryl
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that was a super fabbity-fab-fab-fab job!! i totally digged that! ( Life's a garden, dig it!) anyways, it was touching...it showed all of your sides and how eventhough we hide them..they are always there. another comforting poem. i swear, you are the best poet on the planet. you always make me feel better!!
love always,
Megan
btw..the gratitude book is going awesome and is helping me greatly.
<3
Megan -
i thought it was very moveing it move me in a way
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Thank you
Edited on Jun 18, 6:50 because ''. -
man! I LOVE THIS! it's always hard to write about mirrors and not make anything sound cliche, but you did excellently. i am glad that i got the chance to read this. I especially liked this part:
"the innocence hiding behind the sin
the child inside the adult"
Because those lines encapture what people always say about life in your own words, making it original and uniquely beautiful. I love the spirit that you've embraced through this poetry. Nice job!
~laurie~ -
Heh... what a pile of applause. So true, the eternal "book by its cover".... For it is what a mirror can never show that truly makes us us. I love each of the little contradictions you put, and the rhyming flows fairly well. I'd make suggestions of things to add but honestly with all the applause seems my efforts would be wasted, its already quite perfect.
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this awsome though i don't like the clown picture(i'm afraid of clowns) but this was good
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perfect
wow this was one the best work i seen all week .i really dont have the words to say how really good it is .impressive. -
Excellent Write
Wow made my poem about mirrors look like kids play. Outstanding -
Hey,
Wow this is magnificent! It's something I wish I had written. You convey your emotions well.
I read this bit:
'Behind my eyes, behind my smile
Deep into my soul
Linger for a little while
Show me all you know'
and it was then I knew I was in for a treat!
Well done!
Loadsa love,
Jazzles
xXxXx -
Awesome!! I think mirrors are overrated..they let ya know when you're looking good, but GEEZ! Do they ever let ya know when you're looking bad!! peace VC
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You had strong emotion behind your words..although when I saw your picture of the clown I thought it was going to be a funny poem. Anyhow, you did awesome on desription.
Great Job
Chrissy
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wow...well i have to agree w/ everyone else its awesome...i sometimes wish that ppl could see my they way that mirror of yours would reflect me...the outside is just a shell who we really are is on the inside
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My goodness! The first work of yours I've read, and when I click onto it, I find 52 "applaudes". I knew I was in for something special, and I certainly wasn't disappointed! This is an incredible write! The metaphor of the mirror used to show us MORE than our physical appearance is completely awesome! And the contrasts...if I tried to tell you which parts I like best, I'd be reciting over half the poem! This is truly an inspired piece! Magnificent! LBW
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awsome poem. I love it
that was ana wsome poem it was also a tear jerker for me. I looved it. I am sorry for what has happened to you. I hope you do so much better and things go great for you.
I hope the mirrior lies to you because you may not want to see all that you say you want to see. I think that if it does you would just fall apart all together. at least stay in one peice even if your heart isn't.
Love always
megan -
I could not resist clicking on this piece again ...I need the inspiration this great little write gives me and from the looks of comments ,my peers agree...great..freda
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Awesome
Awesome poem! You certainly captured every part of what is inside people. I love the format and style you used, the wording, everything.
the place in me that’s always red
the part that’s forever blue
the side that follows what is said
the piece that’s always confused
This was my favorite part. -
awsome!!!! keep it up.. I love it!
- - - - XrAzOrXdOllX - - - - -
WOW! I love this poem. Because there are pasts of everyone that the mirrior does not show. So sometimes you never know how someone REALLY feels. This poem has such a strong message. I*LOVED*IT! GREAT WRITE!
~DJ~ -
I LOVE THIS POEM. IT FLOWS NICELY AND I COULD FEEL EMOTIONS. I LOVE IT!!!!!! ITS AWESOME! KEEP UP THE GREAT WORK!
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i still love this!!
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ok i love this poem. I think this is the best flowing poem Ive ever seen on this site and the applause show it. kinda explains perfectly how u wish people could see you
ZIGGY -
Glad I read it!
I need not comment on the content, for I agree with others that it is a highly worthy piece of writing. It has a steady rhythm except for one line: "the piece that’s always confused" which might have been "the piece that is confused" dropping the extra beat. Yet, hold it there!! The meaning allows it. Confused, right? I can buy that idea. Was that your intention? --Dee
Edited on Jun 04, 9:02 because 'spacing and typo'. -
Wise and wonderful
I think we all have these different sides, no matter how strong and collected we appear. We wish the inside was more like the outside, but it takes a healing journey to make it so. This is a beautiful poem, full of wisdom and candor. I enjoyed the rhymes, too.
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a poem that come's within you is no need to change i think this is a very fine write..Good job!
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a wonderfully expressive poem
this spoke to me like a song, like a dream, you say so much so eloquently, so vividly,
the innocence hiding behind the sin
the child inside the adult
the heart that won’t let anyone in
the piece of me that‘s mild
i truly love these lines
a wonderfully expressive poem - thankyou -
Very Good
A good solid piece of work, i like it.
Georges -
this is a great poem... your a very talented poet... wow this one made me think i like it although could there be some blood or some more pain and sorrow jk its your poem i think its great... see ya around ill read some more from you
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.. avampireslament -
MagicLady~
Hey! I thought that this was a really good poem. It was nicely written and it had a good flow to it as well. I see what you mean by 'if you really reflect at all' Keep writing and thank you for sharing this with all of us here. Good luck in the contest you entered, for this I think you deserve in the top 3, although I haven't read the other ones.
~!~Manda~!~ -
Wonderful
I loved this poem! Fantastic. Thank you. Luv Niky x -
I am bookmarking this. It's just too good. I don't have many points otherwise I would have applauded this. Brilliant. Your poem was like a mirror to me.
"Show me, even though I fear"
I've felt every bit of it.
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Well done, indeed! Wonderfully inspiring introspection with great self-awareness.
~G
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I liked this piece, but I totally thought you could end it better. Please don't feel offended. You don't have to change it or anything, but I...gosh, I suck at these comment things. I'll just shutup.
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So perfectly written, and I love the way you broke it up and brought it back together. Very very well done!
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This poem is alot like one of mine- very interesting! Mine is entitled, "My Reflection", if you're interested in viewing it!
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Dearest Cheryl
The contradictions of the me, summed up within a poem which sings its message ... Lovely work here, Poetess.
Hugs
Myra
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Wow...The words are simple, but the emotions that are in them are complex and real. Thanks for the great read!
~Faith -
Wow!!!! I love it. and its weird it describes me.
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Great poem... I'm gonna bring this poem in to read to my class...Keep writing. This poem shows emotion and makes the reader feel like they are the one standing infront of the mirror.
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Wow.. this is amazing! Great job.. defiantly one of the best i've read today.. Keep it up and good luck in the contest. Latears* Jessie
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Awesome Poem
surprised i didn't comment already, i read earlier... anyway, i really liked this poem. it was cool the way you did the mirror mirror, you did it good. we really do manage to hide things from ourselves, and some things we do we just don't realize it, like we could hurt someone without knowing so... and i really liked: the innocence hiding behind the sin
the child inside the adult
the heart that won’t let anyone in
the piece of me that ‘s mild
because the child in us is so much better. it's also the happy side. we sometimes don't see our faults but we rarely see our goodness. -
Excellent
we keep so many things beneath the surface, and it only tears us apart. great write! sad and beautiful.
~Kate -
it reminds me of 2 things the story of snow white and the song reflection.your work is excellent.keep on writing this kind of poem.it's so beautiful
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Brilliant Ideas!
Hi Sheryl,
This is awesome! Really, the thoughts, the poem and the design. I see you asked for critiquing. I see 2 places I'd mention to perfect this grand write in it's entirety. If you want more input. Thank you for the reminder, self reflection is never a waste of time! Thank you for showing yours. Just asking casts a rainbow in your shadow.
Tommy -
You're right! This is an excellent write! This just reaches out grabs you and pulls you in. You said this so well! You really are a great poet! This is the best part I think............
the innocence hiding behind the sin
the child inside the adult
the heart that won’t let anyone in
the piece of me that ‘s mild
I can totaly relate. Wonderful Job sweety! Thank you for sharing! Take care of you! ...............Sheila
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Wonderful
I loved this poem, it started out gently like a childrens rhyme and then it pulled the reader down into the dark. Wonderful. Luv Niky xx -
:)
the innocence hiding behind the sin
the child inside the adult
the heart that won’t let anyone in
the piece of me that ‘s mild
the place in me that’s always red
the part that’s forever blue
the side that follows what is said
the piece that’s always confused
the detail was great and kept me hooked to it keep it up!!!!
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* * * * 4 stars
It was overall excellent.However, some parts didnt flow as well as I thought they would. The rhyme was ok, and rhythm was great. Awesome job. Keep up the good work
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Truley amazing and uterly touching, the best
Amazing!! Wow!! Terrific!! Super!! Fantastic!! Awesome!! Incredible!! Great!! Good!! Perfect!! those are just some of the words that sum up this poem i'm sure i could go on and on and on all day about your poem, its one of the most beautifully written poems i have ever read!! you really captured the parts of every human and yes we all wish we could look in a mirror and see all those parts and find away to figure out hopw to channel them into one whole part, one whole part with no mistakes, no fear when you don't need to fear, and the part would be whole and not broken, it would help u not harm us, and we could be free of all the things that are dark and painful and that live inside us!! your poem captures the true essence of a being and shows people what parts they have and what parts they need to bring out. In a perfect world no one would be cruel no one would be the same and everyone could get along, this poem outlines our world, not that imaginary perfect world we all wish we had, this fact enables the poem to be real and not fiction or fantasy, and for this poem to feel real and change people, move people. One thing a poet wants is to move people and if that was your objective, i can tell you that you have moved me and helped me and that is one of the most cherished gifts you could give a person, a place in this world and i now truley belive i belong, Thnak you so much!! I give this poem a million thumbs up and more!!
{{Beth}} -
This is truly written wonderfully, and so many can relate...Oh so many sides to us, and you out-line that amazingly!
Thanks for sharing, I really enjoyed this piece lots!
-Timothy -
Wow that was amazing. Very unique. I like it alot. Keep writing.
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You have a right to be proud of it. It is an amazing write. You did a great job on it. To accept all of what we are and see it honestly is quite the challenge. I give you two thumbs up on it.
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This is amazing and am too looking in the mirror now to see every bit, well done for getting this into words so perfectly, keep healing my friend you are doing a great job
lisa xxx -
Very well said. Makes me feel like you read my mind. Great job!
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Wow..best poem I've read in a long time. Wonderful job. I loved how the rhyming was so constistant..it really made the piece all the more powerful. Also, the idea was really original and you presented it with such skill. *Claps* Thanks so much for sharing.
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