I've wanted to tell you for so long,
Why all thats between us, has gone so wrong
But the words have never felt right
Coming from my mouth, and I've never wanted
To start another fight, but it seems we do anyway
...And I guess that's just how it is...
And maybe it's my age, teenage rage
But I can remember the things you did
Made my insides burn, when I was 6
Not old enough to even learn about those things
I thought mommy and daddy were normal
I didn't know the word "criminal"
...But I do now....
I can't put all the blame on you,
There's things I never said
Things I did, I didn't tell you about
And I guess I should have,
I was looking for salvation
Dying of stablity starvation...
All those other things, just a complication
...And I wish I could tell you now...
I want to tell you, that everytime you light up
I get sick to my stomach, and my heart sinks
And everytime you call up my "best friend"
Looking for your new fix, it tears me up
But I can't do that, because you're my mother
I can't do that, because we don't talk to each other
...Not like we should...
And it's burnt friendships to ashes
The only time I see him, is when your running low
And I let him go, because of the drugs...
I can't look him, or you in the eye
Not my father, not my mother, excuse me
...While I cry my eyes out again...
And I can't tell you, that all the rage
All the dishonesty, comes in a round about way
From all the drugs, You say it's just an herb...
And I want to tell you, it's ruined your life
That it's slowly ruining mine, but I can't tell you that
Because there's a line we just can't cross..
So I'll keep pretending to smile, saying it doesn't bother me
...All the while, wishing I could tell you...
...How much it hurts me...
...How wrong it really is...
...How many years I've known...
Author notes
I think it pretty much explains itself.. But it deals with my feelings on my parents drug use and my reaction to it growing up.
Written May 31st, 2004
A contest entry
- hit me with your best shot by a gothic romance.
474 points, ended July 31, 2006, 46 entries
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest - The Largest Contest On AP!!!! by xxRainbowDawnxx.
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Bronze trophy winner
• next poem in this contest, remove from contest
What did you think
Comments
1 - 17 of 17
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This is very good.
'
I want to tell you, that everytime you light up
I get sick to my stomach, and my heart sinks
And everytime you call up my "best friend"
Looking for your new fix, it tears me up
But I can't do that, because you're my mother
I can't do that, because we don't talk to each other
...Not like we should...
And it's burnt friendships to ashes
The only time I see him, is when your running low
And I let him go, because of the drugs...
I can't look him, or you in the eye
Not my father, not my mother, excuse me
...While I cry my eyes out again...
And I can't tell you, that all the rage
All the dishonesty, comes in a round about way
From all the drugs, You say it's just an herb...
And I want to tell you, it's ruined your life
That it's slowly ruining mine, but I can't tell you that
Because there's a line we just can't cross..
So I'll keep pretending to smile, saying it doesn't bother me
...All the while, wishing I could tell you...
...How much it hurts me...
...How wrong it really is...
...How many years I've known."
TEll them tell them how you feel and keep telling them and if they wont listen tell someone who will listen. You shouldn't have to go through this. it is just plain wrong it isn't just and herb it is death. Whether they see it or not it is. Talk to someone that you trust that can help you. a pastor, counselor someone. -
Which prompt? Needs to be in AN.
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This is a great poem, Thanks for entering my contest, and good luck,
♥ Christina -
Things I did, I didn't tell you about
And I guess I should have,
I was looking for salvation
Dying of stablity starvation...
these line stole me away.. Ive been looking for the same thing; salvation... unfrotunately still hasnt been found and now Im starting to believe such thing is far from existing.... what you have laid here I can relate to, if you took away the drugs and the abuse... but My fam tends to do the same.. pressuring me and restraining me from things that are good for me and my life.. good write!
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sounds more like a letter to your parents than a poem. it can work as one. but it's not a really GOOD poem. the stanza's get confusing, i'm not sure who you are referring to, your mother or father, a lot of the time.
a lot of the emotion in it was well expressed.
in this poem, i found it to be half/half. half the lines were terrific, the other half weren't. this poem could be much more powerful if you carefully went through and picked out the lines that don't work, and shorten it half-way.
thanks for entering my contest
write on
-
Wow, that was a really good poem and pretty much how I feel. Pretty much whenever I look at my brother I know he's not who he used to be. I look at him and see his eyes bloodshot and I know exactly what he's done. He'll smile, give me a hug, and ask for food and I'll just look at him like I do every other day and ask him "why?" with my eyes, but...it doesn't do any good, he's too stoned to see it. This was an amazing poem, and thanks for pointing it out in your comment on mine, it was a pleasure to read it. You're a really good poet, I'm tempted to read some of your other works as well hehe. Also, its nice to know I'm not alone in this situation. Thank you.
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very brilliant write my hunni xxxgood luck !
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wow, i cant believe that, thats really sad you must have had some really bad days from ive read which i no sounds obvious. i liked the way you expressed yourself. its a very good but sad peice and i hope for you that things get better.
which might not mean a lot i no.
very good write
|~*Crystal*~| -
WOW!!!! thats awesome!!! you shouldnt keep it all in... you should really tell them how you feel and how you feel when your mother is on drugs and doing them and shit.. you gotta tell them!!!! trust me they will work things out with you.. but great write i like it lotz... good luck in my contest!
-
critical
very self explanitory... I'm sorry this is your life. Thanks for bringing a different perspective to light. -
This poem is good, a few errors but good! I don't know if you meant it, but at the beginning, some lines are rhyming, but it fades out. I love the emotion! Keep up the great work!
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Thank you, that was a lovely poem. I felt almost "breathless" while reading. It is truly an ispring poem. I am sorry thsi has happened to you, I hope all the best.
I love your ending line, "How many years I've known", I really enjoyed that. As if your mother was not suppose to know that you were concious of her behaviour and yet it still hurt you.
Thank you for this write.
Yes it is what I wanted !
Good luck and keep it up -
This was a hard-hitter for sure.....im guessing this is true so for that im sorry and hope things get better for ya......good luck in the contest and u have my word that ill be fair....
-Gabe- -
i liked this poem alot. the emotion is conveyed so well, and it flows (the best way to describe it)elegantly. i hope that this is just something that you sat down one day and it just popped out of nowhere, cause the message is very sad and touching. i like the part about
And maybe it's my age, teenage rage
But I can remember the things you did
Made my insides burn, when I was 6
Not old enough to even learn about those things
I thought mommy and daddy were normal
I didn't know the word "criminal"
...But I do now....
thanks for sharing, this truely is a great write. keep it up!
~mikey~ -
i really liked this..it showed alot of emotion, awesome good luck with the contes that you enterd this in..
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This poem is truelly amazing, I know people whom do the same thing to there child, but none of them have ever exspressed so much emotion twords it. But I have to thank you, this has truelly opened me eyes.
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excellent
i really enjoyed your poem...dark, sad, yet i can feel a sort of clostraphobia when i read, that you just want to yell but you put on a smile instead...i occasionally do things bad for me, i don't hurt anyone and i never push marijuana use on anyone...its just how i am, but the way you talk about addiction and so close to home makes an imprint on my mind...thank you for this well written and eye opening poem
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